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Barbb

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Posts posted by Barbb

    It is diverticulosis

    in HOPE

    Posted

    Gosh, I missed this one too. SO Glad that's all it is. My dad has "divertic" as he calls it, he controls it easily but misses the strawberries. YAY Carol.

    Barb

    PS how are you doing by now?

    Anxiousness … and hankering

    in CAREGIVER RESOURCE CENTER

    Posted

    I haven't read anyone else being in Denial as much as Rod and I were. When I think back to how I "let" him drive and go to work on

    those narcotic drugs I just shudder. God truly had His hand on Rod. It seemed he was "OK" if he was still going to work, and he didn't want to take a leave. It was probably when we called in Hospice that the truth was seen. Rod was on atavan and after I gave it to him, I would like my fingers because they got so sticky! The nurse told me to stop doing that, it was never enough to help me so I too was very grateful for the XANAX, my drug of choice :?:?

    The words that I kept repeating are, "It is what it is", thanks Katie B. I still use them.

    Hang in Kimberly, you are doing great .

    Barbb

    Holy Crap!

    in CAREGIVER RESOURCE CENTER

    Posted

    Michelle,

    You are amazing! You have so much on your plate but I still saw your sense of humor in some posts :)

    My husband would never ask for help and didn't want me to have to help. When I had to shave his face for him, he apologized to me. That was sad.

    I hope you can find a way to get out of the house now and then. Even tho I was able to be away some evenings, I couldn't wait to get back home to be sure he was ok. I understand when you say there isn't anywhere you'd rather be than with him, totally understand.

    My best for your best,

    Barb

    Taboo subject--smoking

    in GENERAL

    Posted

    You people amaze me with your strength and willpower. Even with the patches and gum, that has got to be one of the hardest things you have ever done.

    My husband smoked up until the day Hospice came and he was too medicated to smoke.

    Our daughter smoked for 10 years, to almost 28 yrs. old, and quit when she found out about her dad's cancer. She did it cold turkey

    with a lot of support from her wonderful boyfriend. She wanted to cheat but he wouldn't let her. I will always love him for that.

    Barb

    It just doesn't stop

    in GRIEF

    Posted

    Don't you wonder if you'll ever stop hurting? I was looking through the Chevy pickup manual today since it needs an oil change and I was just curious about some settings. That brought on so much physical/emotional pain. Rod should be here. It is a gorgeous evening, windows open, sunshine and he would have been outside working in the yard or his shed or whatever...changing the oil in his pickup :cry: I miss that man so much. I think it will break my heart.

    Barb

    Photos from barbb

    in SHARE YOUR LUNG CANCER STORY

    Posted

    Thanks Randy :) This is the "Love Garden" formerly known as the "Rod Garden" I started last summer. I decided it should be for all of us, fighters, caregivers, survivors and those of us who have lost our most loved and are making lives for ourselves, something I didn't know if I could do.

    And of course my most precious friend, Kasey.

    Barbb

    yay

    in HOPE

    Posted

    I've had sob when I exert myself off and on over the past 3 years. Thought it was just stress but decided to find out. I went to my family doc who found I'm anemic but just to be safe sent me to the pulmonologist, the cardiologist and the gastroenterologist. Every organ is FINE! the gastro doc thought from the beginning the anemia, sob was from years of blood donations!!! Gosh, I was doing my duty and made myself anemic. So glad that's it, I told gastro dr. I'll never do another colonoscopy, he suggested in 5 years :( We'll see what my mindset is then :?

    Barbb

    My latest scan/Update/7/13/09 Update

    in MEMBER UPDATES

    Posted

    Patti,

    This news was a kick in the stomach to me. I am so ANGRY at cancer. My heart is with you and Nick and the rest of your family.

    I am going to get a pretty plant tomorrow and put it in my "Rod Garden" for you. I think of you when I go out there.

    Love you friend,

    Barbb

    Grieving and Work

    in GRIEF

    Posted

    Marci, It will never cease to amaze me how boss's can be so clueless. I was fired a year ago, 7 months after my husband died.

    I wanted to quit but my therapist wanted me to stay awhile to have

    a schedule since I live alone in the country. A few months later the

    "boss" told another employee he rather missed me. Then a few weeks ago both receptionists were out and he asked my friend, "I suppose it would be tacky to call Barb"? She said, "Uh Yeah it would". I laughed when she told me. Oh sure I'll go in and cover your A$$ after you kicked me when I was down. I have been glad

    to be out of there every hour since last June.

    Barbb

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