Karen

Carleen, Wishing you the very best with your decision. As I read through this post and all its replies, I was getting ready to give my "Go for it!". Kids are an amazing addition to your life and YES a lot of work, but if it is meant to be it will be the best thing. God bless and good luck~ Karen

Dearest Lillian, You are absolutely the woman he still loves and admires. Your journey has not been an easy one and yet you take time to share it with others. You are a blessing to all of us and to the small community you have joined. My mother-in-law has said she read somewhere that the cure for sorrow is conversation. I think that could easily include written conversations, whether those "conversations" are with a family of support group members across the Internet (you) or private conversations in a bound journal with God and a lost love (her). You both have dealt with your pain by working to heal while deep within its grasp. I think you are both two very brave and honorable women. God bless~ Karen

Hang in there Joni. It's all you can really do, just a little bit at a time. I am so sorry these holiday times are going to be so hard. At time things do seem ridiculous, almost surreal my MIL says. She has wanted to do special things, similar to your poinsettias with the family, so we try to let her call the shots. I am sure your son Alex's sign was very important to him. You are obviously being there for him in the way he needs you to be. Don't forget to find support from others for the things you need as well. Take care. I'll be keeping you and Alex in my prayers. Karen

Fay, So sorry to hear about the loss of your aunt. I will keep you and your uncle in my prayers especially throughout this holiday season. Such a profound yet simple way to sum things up. If we believe we are here for each other, to do good things in our lives for others, surely the world will miss us when we depart this earthly plain. Sounds as though your aunt was someone who lived her life in a way that left a positive ripple effect wherever she went. I have a feeling you are very much like her. Hang in there, Karen

Karen, A massage will do you a world of good! You certainly deserve it; what a month you have had. Just one major suggestion from me: Do NOT drive home in any sort of rush hour traffic afterwards or all the good will come undone. Learned that lesson last year. Try to find a way to go have a bite to eat or a relaxing cup of tea afterwards so the effects will be longer lasting. Karen

Lillian, You have been in my thoughts and prayers. I've been off the site for awhile but try to come check in at least once every month. I know this time of year is hard for many but maybe even more so for folks who lost their loved one right between the holidays like you did. I read your recounts of the journey of Johnny's last days and I know you must be in a whirlwind of emotions. Take care of yourself and know you are always in God's care and Johnny is watching over you, too. If you get a chance to watch the TV movie "The Five People You Meet in Heaven" that is on Sunday night, you might really like it. You will probably cry but somehow the story was also very comforting to my mother-in-law. (We both read the book last year.) She is still doing a lot of journaling to help her through her days. We passed his birthday for the second time this year just a few weeks ago. She does seem better this year because she insists she is up to Christmas shopping. That was something they always did together like some super hero team finding just the right gift at just the right price, so last year she just couldn't handle it. This year she is more excited to find things for the grandchildren so I am taking that as a positive sign. Though I know that she still has extremely TOUGH days and nights, it is good to know that the saying of time helping us somehow holds true. Anyway, I just wanted to touch base and say I'm still out here with prayers aimed your way. ~Karen

Dave, So good to hear from you again. I'd been wondering how my fellow Packer fan was doing and keeping you in my prayers. I'll keep that up with a special focus on your August 17 appointment. God bless~ Karen M.

Donna, I am praying for you and your family and will continue to do so as you get up each day and enter this new walk in your life. My in-laws had 38 years together and I know how hard it is. I pray family and friends will be there for you as needed, but I also ask for strength for you in those alone moments. Strength to grieve as you feel the need to do. My mother-in-law said just yesterday that she has learned that she is stronger than she ever thought she could be as she has dealt with this intruder of death in her life. Focusing on the memories of those 38 years together both helps and hurts and so she turns to her faith and loved ones as needed to sustain her through the tougher moments. May God surround you with all you need at this time. Karen M.

Wow, Curtis, I feel compelled to say something, but everyone seems to have covered it all. I guess I'll just say thank you for sharing. Your insights always have a way of reaching not just out to others but inward as well...causing some good pondering. Again, thank you. Karen M.

Please see my post re: Approaching one year mark in the 'Lost a Loved One" section. I know this week won't be an easy one and I do believe the power of prayer (ours and others) sustains us through so much that we must endure. God bless~ Karen M.

This Friday will mark one year since my father-in-law's passing. I can't believe it has already been a year. This day last year the extended family surrounded him and the whole family with so much love and support. I'll never forget reading a card sent to him by his coworkers that spoke of their admiration for his impeccable work ethic and his caring way of looking out for others at his job. It reminded me of the love and gentleness that was woven deep within his character that surfaced amidst the macho bravado more and more as he grew older. How I wish my own kids would have more memories of that... My mother-in-law, Sally, is having folks over for a special rosary ceremony at her house rather than at the church and she wants us to do the PowerPoint slide show I made for his memorial last August. I know it will be tough to watch it again but I really feel it is a celebration of his life and those he touched with his presence here, especially Sally. She finally started going to a grieving support group last Monday and we are so thankful for that opportunity for her. She kept thinking she wasn't at the point she should be or the point others might think she should be, and I think she now realizes she is very human and dealing with it in her own time is just fine. Being able to talk to others who lost a spouse rather than a parent or sibling I think will be very helpful for her. I know she still feels like it is all some horrid nightmare at times. Even up to that last day she didn't want to believe he could really leave. Lillian's recent post about losing a soulmate touched on so much as did the replies of so many on that post. I try to share as much as I can from what I read on here when the moments seem right because she doesn't like dealing too much with the Internet herself, but if anyone has any more words of encouragement or just acknowledgement for what she is dealing with this week I will print them out to share with her. Please send up some prayers of peace and healing for my entire family this week. Thank you all... Karen M.

Cindy, Prayers for you and Tom are on their way. So sorry you are having to deal with this right now. God bless~ Karen M.

Joni, My heart goes out to you. I have watched my mother-in-law go through losing the love of her life this last year and she still voices questions like yours now and then aloud and most likely more often in her own heart and mind. It is a year from the day we learned of his mets to the brain and she said that from that day and even up to the day he passed away she still couldn't comprehend her world without him. She didn't think he'd really leave. Joni, as everyone else mentioned you are in that shock phase right now. Please just remember that there is no "right way" to do anything except for what feels right to you. Finding the support you need after some time may come best from a "grieving" group. A friend of mine who lost her husband at the age of 22 said that helped her a ton and my mother-in-law will be starting to go to one next month. My prayers are with you and your family. Karen M.

Peggy, You and your family are in my prayers. I am so sorry for your loss. What a wonderful man ~ your father! I have always thought that when we go to heaven we will be able to finally see the big picture as God sees it. We will be shown how our lives affected others and how that causes a ripple effect of sorts or we will see the beautiful tapestry of how our lives were woven into others and the masterpiece created by our lives touching each others. I am sure your father's ripples or tapestry are absolutely dazzling and your mother and the angels are rejoicing with him. He was sure a blessing to so many in big ways and small. God bless~ Karen M.

I have a Katie, too. She was quite the songbird around that age as well. I love what Mary Ann said about song getting prayers there twice as fast. Kids respond to ideas like that so well. I hope Katie's birthday had some very special moments. I know from some people who lost their parents during childhood that it's always a bit bittersweet. An idea I had was that maybe she could have a special birthday journal she writes in each year to Becky. I heard about someone finding that very meaningful especially during the later teen years. You two are in my prayers. I constantly read your posts, Curtis, and it touches all of us the way you honor Becky. God bless~ Karen M.