shirleyb
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Posts posted by shirleyb
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Cheryl,
I pray that everything works out for the best for you. You are in my prayers that you have some healing and success.
Much love
Shirleyb
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Cyndy,
I have to agree with what everyone has said. Somehow we just keep on keeping on.
I still have somethings I need to do but just don't feel like fighting with a couple of companies about getting the name changed on the bills. One utility company won't change the name on the bill until I provide a death certificate. I can't believe that one.
I have not had to come home to an empty house yet as all my kids live with me still. They have been a godsent for me. They keep my busy and keep my mind occupied most of the time.
My heart goes out to you and everyone else here who is going through this change that has come about in our lives by none of our choosing.
Somehow we do go on......
Much love,
Shirleyb
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Kim,
First of all, I am sorry that life is the way it is right now. It is so hard for your father and for you. You lost your Mother, he lost the love of his life. Each situation has it's own distinct character. You are both grieving but yet it is still different for each of you. I am glad you are able to be supportive of each other at this time in your lives.
I am not sure what I would recommend for reading for your father. It may be that when he sees the doctor, the doctor could recommend something, or even check with the hospital chaplin. I have found them to be a great resource in dealing with the loss I have gone through and they have been able to recommend some very good books for me. And some good support groups also. But I found that coming here was the best thing I could do. I found others that have walked the path I am on, some ahead of me, others behind. It has been a God sent that I have met those on here that understand only too well and have allowed me to vent and rage and cry when I needed to.
I hope and pray for all of us to find some kind of peace in ourselves that will allow us to continue on.
Check with your church or the hospital chaplin. I am sure they will give you good advise.
Take care,
Shirleyb
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Jackie,
You always seem to come through with some very inspiring words when some of us need them the most.
Thanks for sharing and I do hope you are doing well.
Shirleyb
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Shelly,
I am hoping you got more good news and that your pain is just stress. I know closing on your home and the holidays, and your sister all have it's own little piece for adding to your stress level.
I am thankful that you feel the way you do about your folks. They are together along with all the rest of your family that has passed. Just think, they are with their parents and grandparents. Just as we know we will be one day too. That is such an amazing thought to have. Alittle bizarre in it's own way, but comforting too.
So what did you find out and did the closing of your home go okay?
I am so glad you posted. It has uplifted me today.
Thanks for sharing and being here.
Much love,
Shirleyb
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I am so very sorry that Tim lost his battle with this beast.
I am at a loss for words to express how sad this is.
May God give you strength to get through the next days, weeks, and months to come. You will be in my prayers.
Shirleyb
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Sharyn,
I am amazed by you story! What a blessing to have had the sign you needed to know your father arrived in heaven.
I am sorry he is gone.
Prayers for you and the rest of your family.
Shirleyb
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Ann,
I have been thinking about you cause I knew this day was coming. You will make it through. I am not saying it will be easy, but you will make it through. Just take it one day at a time.
I know on special days it is so hard to understand why they had to die, but they did. You cry your tears, you remember, and you go on.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Much love,
Shirleyb
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Thank you all for your prayers. Mom made it throught the surgery and is doing better this evening. She is bleeding from an ulcer in the colon this time. It just seems like it has been one thing after another for her. So I hope she is able to feel better soon.
Thank you again.
Praying for us all.
Shirley
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I know I haven't posted much lately but I could really use some prayers for my family right now.
My mom has been in the hospital since Nov 3. She had to have surgery for a stomach anurisium. Well since that time she has had a very bumpy ride. The surgery went well but she has had acute trouble with her breathing since then. It took them a long time to get her off the respirator after the surgery. She has empahzema. The sent her to rehab facility that didn't bother to read her discharge papers and she ended up with pnemonia. Back to the hospital she went. The were getting ready to discharge her yesterday and found out she is bleeding internally again. She is going back into surgery this morning for an exploratory.
She is in Ohio and I am in Minnesota. I have not been able to go see her due to work issues etc. That is a whole other story that I won't get into right now. I am very scared for her. I am just praying she can make it through the surgery and get through rehab again and that the bleeding is something they can control without doing too much to her.
Please add her to your prayers. I am a basket case right now. Not much I can do right now but pray for her.
Thanks in advance.
My love to all.
Shirleyb
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Donna,
You wrote "They say time heals all wounds but they never said how long it will take". I don't think time will ever heal the wounds we suffer when we lose someone we love but I do think time eases the pain of the loss.
I heard this story for the first time when my neighbor passed away two years ago. I loved it then and I still love it now. It brings some peace to my soul.
Thank you for sharing this at this time.
Shirleyb
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Fay,
I am so sorry for the loss of your aunt.
Shirleyb
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Shelly,
I have tried more than once to respond to your post and some of the responses you have gotten.
All I want to say is this. I admire you for surviving, even if it is not a pretty picture right now. I admire you for getting up everyday.
Be true to yourself. Do take care of yourself.
You and Katie have been in my thoughts and prayers for a long time now. Hang on to life and make the best of it that you can. You don't have to live up to someone elses measurement of "happiness". You only have to live up to your hearts standard of life. I think you know what you need to do to make what you feel your heartsong. Take the time to listen to yourself, to your heart.
I am glad you are able to buy your folks old home. Don't worry about Thanksgiving and Christmas, because they truely are just another day. It is between you and God what you believe you need to do to survive.
Take care.
Praying for us all.
Much love hon,
Shirley
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Lillian,
I have been thinking of you the past few days. You are in my prayers. We as survivors somehow just keep on going don't we? It is not easy but we do go on and do what we have to in order to survive. And yes, like you, I have found I don't have the energy or stamina that I use to have before Randy died. Seems part of me is missing.
Somehow by the grace of God we manage to get through the days and get up the next and do it again.
You are in my prayers as I know these next few days will be intense for you. Just know you are not alone.
Take care my dear.
Praying for us all.
Shirley
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Oh Kathleen,
As Connie said, greiving and depression are very different. Losing my spouse has been far more difficult to deal with than losing my father ever was. I expected my father to pass before me and I also expected that my husband and I would have many more years ahead together. Then he died and my world changed like I would never want anyone's world to change. All our dreams and goals went up in smoke and I had to find a new way to manage day by day. I never thought I would be without my husband before I turned 50. I have dealt with depression and the intense grief. They are different.
If you find that your father is not taking care of himself, such as showering, eating, being somewhat in tune with the world around him, then I would suggest that you get him to go see his doctor for a check up.
There are many posts in this section going back a ways that talk about what your dad is going through. Just know he is not alone and what he is going through is probably pretty normal. It takes time for the pain to ease.
Let him know you are there for him and that you need him too.
I wish you the best. May you find your way in this new journey you are on. If you need help along the way, just ask, someone will answer.
We all travel it differently but it seems most of us end up going through it together.
Praying for us all.
Shirley
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I have gotten a chest xray every time I go in for a physical. I just thought it was routine to do this.
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To all the vets and those that love them, thank you for doing what you did. It means a lot still to this day.
God Bless each of you.
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I am so sorry for the loss of your father, for the loss of Paddy's husband.
You are all in my prayers.
Shirleyb
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Xena,
I am so very sorry to read about your father. My prayers are with you and your family at this time.
Peace be with you always,
Shirleyb
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I love the idea of the tree ornaments. What a wonderful way to celebrate their lives.
I know last year was extremely hard for my family and I. We were still reeling with the loss of my husband and the kids father. There were some things that stayed the same and many others that changed.
I was given a book called the December grief. It was in there that I read and realized that it is okay to grieve for our loses but it is also our choice to change how we celebrate the holiday's and it is OKAY to change how we celebrate the holiday's. Life is ever changing and so are each of us.
As I have said before, time has helped to ease our pain and grief. It has been like the sandpaper on the wood. Our lives are forever changed. Life is starting to show some new things about each of us that had we not had a loss, we would never have found out about ourselves. It has been both a blessing but also hard to go through. But go through it we must.
At some point in time, we all have to accept that our lives have changed and will never be the same again. Just as the holiday's will be never be the same for us. But they will be what we make of them. I think Dean was the one who said we have a choice to make. We can either die a little each day or we can choose to live and make the best of the day that has been given to us. And then of course there is Snowflake with the infamous beer truck to keep in mind as we make those choices.
All I can say right now is this. This board and the people who make up this board are what kept me going and still do. We have a wealth of wisdom, compassion, love, and faith among us. We also have alot of acceptance with each other and understanding that we all are different and will go through the coming holiday's together. Each with our own little idea's to help each other to learn to continue on. And continue on we will.
May God give us the strength, the understanding, the acceptance, the grace and the dignity to continue on. May we always know that our loved ones love us still and their spirits will continue on through our memories of them.
Sorry to ramble on. I do understand, just as many of you do, how hard the holiday's will be. But I also know we will get through these days. Life will be ever changing and so will we.
Wishing each of us enough to continue on.
Love to all,
Shirleyb
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Pam,
I have been thinking about you and your mother.
It is hard to go on without those you love so much. And it is hard to see the pain your little one is in, much less your mother.
You have my prayers. Your dad hears you sweetie everytime you think of him.
Peace be with you hon,
Shirleyb
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Joni,
My heart breaks for you and for Alex.
Just know you are not alone in what you are going through. Many of us here have and still are trying to work through the pain that comes with losing our husbands and wives. Time has a way of easing the pain even though it never goes away.
Be kind to yourself. Alex probably understands more than you give him credit for. I know it hurts when you feel like you are suppose to be the strong one, but our kids will see right though us and know we are hurting no matter what age they are. Even my grandson can tell when Nana is having one of those days and just needs an extra hug. Alex will forgive you even though there is nothing to be forgiven for. You don't need forgiveness for missing Robert so. Alex misses him too and probably cries like you do too when he thinks you don't see him. You can't hide that your heart is broken and that you will forever miss Robert, and Alex will miss his Dad.
Give yourself permission to grieve. It is okay.
You have been and will continue to be in my prayers.
Shirleyb
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Lillian,
Have you heard from your family yet? I really pray they are safe and together.
Take care dear lady. You are thought of often.
Much love,
Shirleyb
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Holly,
It takes my breath away reading your post. How I would give anything to have a tape like that. I have only one tape and it only has Randy's voice on it talking to our grandson as he was outside playing. I cherish that tape. I found it on Christmas eve last year. I know I cried and cried.
Since I don't know what Bill said, my take on it is that he wanted you to know what he felt. I am sure it was hard for him to do it and by not telling you, maybe he was hopeful that he would win. As Curtis said, it may be a blessing for your children and grandchildren. I too wish I could hold Randy one more time. I miss him so.
I am sorry this has thrown you for such a loop. I am sure it was shocking to you and touched you very deeply.
Take care dear one. It is another one of those paths we take as we miss our loved ones so.
Praying for us all and wishing you enough.
Shirleyb
prayers for my sister
in HOPE
Posted
prayers are comin and goin up to the big guy