shirleyb
-
Posts
783 -
Joined
-
Last visited
Content Type
Downloads
Store
Profiles
Forums
Gallery
Blogs
Events
Posts posted by shirleyb
-
-
Ann,
I have to agree with Katie. When you write from the heart, it is right.
I am glad that you have your son and his support.
I was told by my sister, who lost her husband several years ago to cancer, that grieving doesn't have a time limit. There are times still that she feels like it was just yesterday. So dear, all I can say is grief does not have a time limit. Each of us handles our loses in our own way and in our own time.
I swear I will never tell anyone ever again to get "on" with their lives. I have been guilty of it in the past but I will never again say those words to anyone. I feel they are the cruelest words a person can say to someone who has lost so deeply as we have here.
My heart goes out to you, just like a pair of arms wrapping you lovingly and holding you close as you cry.
Much love and warm hugs to you Ann.
Shirley
-
I caught myself today sitting by the window, waiting for Randy to come home. I find it so strange to catch myself waiting for him. It was when he would be getting home from work. I was sitting there, like I use to, waiting for him to get home, wanting to share with him what took place that day and to see how he was doing. Did he have a good day today? What happened at work? And then it hits me like a brick wall. He is not coming home today or any other day. I miss him so much it hurts. It was not that I had been thinking of him throughout the day, but it hit me....I caught myself waiting for him. I kept looking out the window to see if he was coming around the corner everytime I heard a car go by. I am just so sad when I found myself thinking he will be coming home anytime now and then I realized that he won't be.
It will be 4 months on Saturday since he died. I put a Christmas decoration on his grave yesterday. He would have liked it I think. I just miss him so. I never thought I would be alone at this young of an age. I am just sad.
-
Adam,
I had to reply to this. I don't know if your family has done this or not, but get a notebook and keep it with your father at all times. Write down what medications he is taking and the timing of them. Write down any and all questions you or anyone in your family might have so that when you see the doctors you can get answers. Write down everything that goes on as far as his treatment goes. Make this your bible. It comes in very handy believe me. It saved us so much time when Randy (my hubby) had to go to the hospital or doctors. We knew what was going on without their records. Mine were better in some cases.
As far as the nurses go....for the most part I found them to be very caring. But it only takes one to give you the distrust you have at this time. Remember they are human too.
Take care of yourself and do what you can for your dad. Don't forget about your mom either. She needs you too.
Shirley
-
Kristy,
Honey, I am so sorry for you. Losing those we love to this horrible thing called cancer is the worst. We never have enough time with them.
You are in my prayers now and will be for months to come.
My heart felt sympathy to you and your family.
Shirley
-
Adams,
Good for you. It is so important to be able to connect with your dad. Even if it means letting one rip.
You go guy!!!
Shirley
-
Adam,
I am so sorry that your father is having such a hard time right now. Spend all the time you can with him. Even if it appears he is not quiet here because of the meds, talk to him. He will hear you and believe it or not, he will know and understand what you are telling him.
You are in my prayers. I know how hard this is on you. My son's have gone through this with their Dad too. Just talk to him, let him know you love and care for him.
Take care of business and of yourself.
Much love,
Shirley
-
Christy,
I am so saddened by this news. I just don't know what to say.
I am so sorry.
My prayers are with you and Darrell right now.
Love and warm hugs,
Shirley
-
Marlon,
I am so sorry about your Mom. It is not an easy road to be on.
Know you and your family are thought about and prayers are being said.
Shirley
-
Hon,
I am so sorry for the pain you are feeling and have continued to feel.
Please take time to really think about what Richard would have wanted you to do. Honor him by doing that. I don't think he would want you to quit on life all together. It is so precious. I know when this all happened for me, I felt like I was in the middle of the ocean, could not see the horizon, much less the shore. There was no one who could take away the pain. In time though, I have thought about what my loved one would want for me. He would not want me to mourn him for the rest of my life, but he did want me to continue on. He knew it would take time before I was happy again, but he also knew it would come in time. I will always love him. The best way I feel I can honor Randy, is to continue on and try to make a difference for someone else. There are so many others that need us. It may be a stranger to you yet, but you do have a purpose for being.
Take care of yourself. Don't give up. Honor Richard. Share your memories of him. Keep in touch.
May you feel warms hugs and gentle sunrises.
Shirley
-
I am so sorry. But it is good that you listen to your body.
I will keep you in my prayers.
Hugs,
Shirley
-
Tammy,
I am sorry that you and your family are going through this.
I have no answers to your questions, but keep checking back, someone here will have something to offer. There are so many here that are willing to share and give support in this terrible time.
Hugs and prayers coming your way.
Shirley
-
Ann,
I am so sorry. This will be my first holiday season without my best friend. It is so painful, so I think I can understand what you are going through.
A very good friend of mine sent me a book titled the Decembered grief. It has helped me to atleast look at the holiday's and understand that they will never be the same again. But that there are things I can do to get through them.
I too have found that after Randy died, my "friends" have scattered like dust in the wind. A few have stuck around, but most have disappeared. I don't know if it was from fear, or what. But I know they are not here and it hurts. I hope I never become that shallow to those I love.
I will keep you in my prayers that you are able to find some peace.
I have found if I keep a "happy" picture of Randy around to look at, that I remember him more like he was before he became ill. I know that is how he would want to be remembered also. I would not want my children to remember him so sick but to be able to think back to some of the good times we had.
Take care my dear.
Warm hugs and much love coming your way.
Shirley
-
Chris,
I am so sorry you are having to be the one to deal not only with your step dad, but also the fact that your mom is not healthy.
I will keep you in my prayers that you are able to carry on with whatever it is you need to do.
Just a thought, maybe not the best, but if your mother is doing drugs, becareful not to let her have access to your stepfathers meds. If it is something that is a possible danger to you, I think you should have her admitted to a treatment program. It would probalby take a committment order to have it done, but you really need her to be straight. It will be difficult to say the least, but sometimes it is the best thing you can do for them and for you.
My heart goes out to you at this time. But do what you have to do. It may be the thing that saves her life.
Take care of yourself, so you can be there for your stepdad.
Much love and warm hugs.
Shirley
-
buddy
in NSCLC GROUP
Buddy and Norme,
I am thinking about you and praying that everything goes super for you tomorrow. You have been in my thoughts a lot this past few weeks.
Take care, look for miracles and know that you are loved.
Shirley
-
Thanks for asking the question.
From my experience, it would have been nice if they had just listened to what was really going on. They need to be more aware of the signs of cancer first of all. If a person is a smoker, they really need to look at the overall picture and do the tests. For the cost of a spiral CT, more people would find out sooner I believe and therefore have a better chance of survival. Listen to what the patient and their family is telling them. Don't treat them like they don't know what they are talking about. People tend to be very intuitive about their bodies. They know when something is not right, but they may not know what it is. That is usually why they go to the doctor in the first place. And lastly, if they see something that looks like a lung problem, (i.e. infection) they need to follow up with the patient for further tests. One xray does not tell the whole picture. They need to make sure the "infection" has cleared up and the only way to do that is to do the tests and xrays again.
-
What a beautiful story. It gives me hope to know that no matter what I have done, or how awful I look, God sees me as a precious child of His.
Thank you for sharing this wonderful story.
-
Lynne,
I am so sorry that your family is in this situation.
I am glad though, that it gave you and Dean an opportunity to talk about life. So many do not get that far with this horrible illness.
My prayers and thoughts are with you. May God give Joanne the strength she will need in the days to come.
Much love,
Shirley
-
Welcome to the best place to find support and encouragment.
I am so sorry you have this awful illness.
Take it one day at a time and make the most of it. Ask questions here that you fear you can not ask anywhere else. Someone will answer.
Much love,
Shirley
-
There was alot more information from other posts under the cumidin posting in the general section. That is where I found this one from John.
I wish you the best.
Shirley
-
Vadis,
I have to agree with what everyone else has said.
I would suggest that you get a notebook and write down all your concerns and questions. This is such a hard time for you. Write all your questions down. It is easier for you to have it on paper, that way you don't forget to ask what you want to know. Write down what they give you for answers and get copies of all your tests and reports. Demand they give you answers you can understand. If they beat around the bush....get a new doctor that will give you hope.
Miracles happen everyday.
I will keep you in my prayers.
Much love and warm hugs,
Shirley
-
Don and Lucie,
So far so good...I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
Best of luck,
Shirley
-
I copied this from a posting John had put in the general section.
John, first, thank you for your reseach.
I think for those who are thinking there is no hope, you might want to check this out with your doctors. At this point in the game, it can not hurt to ask the question and see what they say. Print this out so they have the same data that John has found. What do you have to lose? Ask the question.
Just a thought. I can only pray and hope that maybe this will help.
Good luck,
Shirley
The following is what John had posted.
The Anticoagulant Heparin: A Possible New Cancer Treatment?
Leo Zacharski, M.D., and Robert G. Lerner, M.D.
Dr. Zacharski is Professor of Medicine, Dartmouth Medical School, Hanover, New Hampshire, and Associate Chief of Staff, VA Medical Center, White River Junction, Vermont.
The Case of Mrs. B.
A 79-year-old woman -- we will call her Mrs. Benchley -- came to her local hospital with pain and swelling in her right leg. She also complained of shortness of breath and pain on the left side of her chest when she did breathe. Over the previous two months, she had felt increasingly tired and had developed a dry cough. Mrs. Benchley had always been healthy, suffered from no serious illnesses, never smoked and was physically active.
After running a few tests, doctors found a small cancerous tumor in her lung. They also found enlargement of the lymph nodes, which indicated that the cancer had probably spread to other parts of the body. A biopsy, or examination of a sample of tissue removed from the lung tumor, confirmed that Mrs. Benchley had metastatic adenocarcinoma of the lung. Adenocarcinoma is one of the many types of cancer.
As for the pain and swelling in Mrs. Benchley's leg, tests revealed that she had deep vein thrombosis of a vein in her right leg. Also called DVT, deep vein thrombosis is a condition in which a blood clot blocks or reduces the flow of blood through one of the body's main veins. It can cause pain and swelling and can sometimes be life-threatening. For reasons that are not completely understood, it often occurs together with cancer.
For her DVT, Mrs. Benchley was given the usual treatment, which is IV heparin in the hospital, followed by warfarin, an oral anticoagulant (blood thinner) at home. Sold under a variety of brand names, heparin is a prescription anticoagulant that slows the rate of blood clot formation. It can both prevent formation of blood clots after surgery and, as in the case of Mrs. Benchley, help dissolve blood clots that have already formed. Warfarin, (usually sold under the brand name Coumadin®), is an oral anticoagulant.
As for the lung cancer, Mrs. Benchley's doctors did not recommend radiation or surgery and she decided against chemotherapy. Soon her DVT symptoms improved and she was sent home with a prescription for warfarin.
Unfortunately, however, the warfarin did not prevent another blood clot problem. Mrs. Benchley was readmitted to the hospital a month later with DVT, now in her left leg. She was again treated with IV heparin, did well and returned home. This time, instead of warfarin, she was prescribed a form of heparin called enoxaparin, which she could inject herself.
One year later, Mrs. Benchley returned to the hospital for a checkup. She had continued to lead an active life and had been surprisingly well, except for some shortness of breath with exertion. She had had no further problems with DVT. A chest X-ray showed that the spread of her lung cancer had slowed considerably. She was told to continue on a low dose of a form of heparin called low molecular weight heparin (sometimes abbreviated as LMWH).
Two Interesting Points
Mrs. Benchley is not unique, and her story illustrates two points. One is that the anticoagulant warfarin sometimes seems to lose its normal effectiveness against DVT in cases where the DVT occurs along with cancer. For some reason, heparin, a different kind of anticoagulant, seems to remain effective against DVT even with the presence of cancer.
A potentially more significant issue, however, is whether taking heparin to treat blood clotting problems may have somehow slowed down the growth of Mrs. Benchley's lung cancer. Based on cases like hers, doctors have begun to wonder if the human body's blood clotting mechanism may somehow play a role in the growth of cancerous tumors. If that is so, then it would explain why a drug like heparin that fights blood clotting might actually stop or slow down tumor growth.
Can Heparin Fight Cancer?
Recent research results have backed up the theory that the body's coagulation mechanism may play a part in the development of some cancers, as well as offering some explanation of why heparin might interfere with cancer.1,2,3,4,5,6 Heparin has been shown to fight the growth of tumors in animals in various ways.7,8,9,10,11 Some of these studies have also shed light on why heparin, and not warfarin, might have this effect.12 There is also preliminary evidence that LMWH treatment prolongs survival in patients with both DVT and cancer.13
The possible reasons for this are not completely understood. To put them as simply as possible, cancerous tumors are usually surrounded by a substance called fibrin. Fibrin promotes the growth of the tumor and the growth of new blood vessels that supply the tumor with necessary nutrients. Heparin interferes with fibrin formation and perhaps directly inhibits the formation of new blood vessels. Both heparin and LMWH may also inhibit tumor growth in other ways.14,15,16
Summary
Whatever the exact mechanisms involved, there is mounting evidence that the anticoagulant drug heparin may fight the growth of at least some kinds of cancerous tumors.17 In experiments using rats, treatment with heparin has decreased the likelihood that cancer will metastasize, or spread throughout the body. Similar studies on humans have been promising, though not conclusive.18
The interaction of the body's coagulation mechanisms, heparin and cancer is an extremely complex issue. Cancer, itself, comes in many forms and acts in many different ways. While we await the results of further research, a person facing a decision about cancer treatment -- especially someone with lung cancer or DVT -- may wish to discuss heparin treatment with their doctor.
March 2001 Email this article to a friend
References
1. Norrby K: 2.5 kDa and 5.0 kDa heparin fragments specifically inhibit microvessel sprouting and network formation in VEGF165-mediated mammalian angiogenesis. Int J Exp Pathol 2000 Jun;81(3):191-8. return
2. Kato M, Maeta H, Kato S, Shinozawa T, Terada T: Immunohistochemical and in situ hybridization analyses of midkine expression in thyroid papillary carcinoma. Mod Pathol. 2000 Oct;13(10):1060-5. return
3. Arkel YS: Thrombosis and cancer. Semin Oncol 2000 Jun;27(3):362-74 return
4. Tyan ML: Effects of inositol, LiCl, and heparin on the antibody responses to SRBC by normal and immunodeficient XID mice. Proc Soc Exp Biol Med. 2000 Jul;224(3):187-90. return
5. Collen A, Smorenburg SM, Peters E, Lupu F, Koolwijk P, Van Noorden C, van Hinsbergh VW: Unfractionated and low molecular weight heparin affect fibrin structure and angiogenesis in vitro. Cancer Res. 2000 Nov 1;60(21):6196-200. return
6. Pascall JC, Ellis PD, Brown KD: Characterisation of the rat heparin-binding epidermal growth factor-like growth factor gene promoter. Biochim Biophys Acta 2000 Jul 24;1492(2-3):434-40. return
7. Lapierre F, Holme K, Lam L, Tressler RJ, Storm N, Wee J, Stack RJ, Castellot J, Tyrrell DJ: Chemical modifications of heparin that diminish its anticoagulant but preserve its heparanase-inhibitory, angiostatic, anti-tumor and anti-metastatic properties. Glycobiology 1996 Apr;6(3):355-66. return
8. Hejna M, Raderer M, Zielinski CC: Inhibition of metastases by anticoagulants. J Natl Cancer Inst 1999 Jan 6;91(1):22-36. return
9. Prandoni P, Piccioli A, Girolami A: Cancer and venous thromboembolism: an overview. Haematologica 1999 May;84(5):437-45. return
10. Zacharski LR, Wojtukiewicz MZ, Costantini V, Ornstein DL, Memoli VA: Pathways of coagulation/fibrinolysis activation in malignancy. Sem. Thrombos. Hemostas.18:104-116, 1992. return
11. Callander N, Rapaport SI: Trousseau's syndrome West J Med 1993 Apr;158(4):364-71. return
12. Hull RD, Raskob GE, Pineo GF, Green D, Trowbridge AA, Elliott CG, Lerner RG, Hall J, Sparling T, Brettell HR, et al.: Subcutaneous low-molecular-weight heparin compared with continuous intravenous heparin in the treatment of proximal-vein thrombosis. N Engl J Med. 1992 Apr 9;326(15):975-82. return
13. Smorenburg SM, Hutten BA, Prins MH: Should patients with venous thromboembolism and cancer be treated differently? Haemostasis 1999 Dec;29 Suppl S1:91-7. return
14. Zacharski LR, Ornstein DL, Mamourian AC: Low-molecular-weight heparin and cancer. Semin Thromb Hemost. 2000;26 Suppl 1:69-77. return
15. Sylvester DM, Liu SY, Meadows GG: Augmentation of antimetastatic activity of interferon and tumor necrosis factor by heparin. Immunopharmacol Immunotoxicol. 1990;12(2):161-80. return
16. Syrokou A, Tzanakakis G, Tsegenidis T, Hjerpe A, Karamanos NK: Effects of glycosaminoglycans on proliferation of epithelial and fibroblast human malignant mesothelioma cells: a structure-function relationship. Cell Prolif. 1999 Apr-Jun;32(2-3):85-99. return
17. Ornstein DL, Zacharski LR: The use of heparin for treating human malignancies. Haemostasis. 1999 Dec;29 Suppl S1:48-60. return
18. Smorenburg SM, Hettiarachchi RJ, Vink R, Buller HR: The effects of unfractionated heparin on survival in patients with malignancy--a systematic review. Thromb Haemost. 1999 Dec;82(6):1600-4. return
-
I know this is too late to be a benefit for Randy, but I wonder if anyone has brought John's response to this issue to their doctor. Somehow in my soul, I think that as group we are hitting on something here.
Could it be as Oprah says, listen to what God is telling you in your heart and follow it. I feel like God is screaming at me to ask you to please follow up on this interesting tidbit of information with your doctors. If it would benefit just one of you, then I would say, maybe there is a better chance out there for those who have been told there is nothing left to try.
If there is nothing else to try according to the doctors, then what can this hurt if it is given properly?
I just feel like God is screaming at me .....give it a chance. Maybe this is the miracle we are all looking to give us more time. I can't answer that but man, I have this screaming voice in my soul that says it is worth a shot.
Best of luck to all. You are all in my prayers.
Shirley
-
Sam,
I am glad to see you are back to posting. I wish you only the best.
Keep up the good news.
Shirley
I was looking for help
in GRIEF
Posted
Betina,
Maybe I am reading something into your posts that is truely not there. If I am wrong in what I am reading in your posts, please accept my apologies now. I do not mean to cause you or anyone else here pain
I seem to be reading more than just grieving in your posts. I see depression coming out in an unhealthy way for you. I sense your hopelessness. I do not mean to assume anything, but I am scared for you.
Maybe you need to just quit that stinking job and find something that will give you some peace. No job is worth losing your physical or mental health for. Maybe, if you think about it, your job should be to get healthy again. I understand about the money issue. I have been without a job since last January and I need to find a job soon in order to keep a roof over my head. But I also know I need to heal before I am any good to anyone. As Randy always told me, it will all work out. Somethings are out of our control.
Depression is as nasty an illness as cancer is. It eats your soul away.
I do know first hand how terrible and life threating depression is. I lost my SIL to it, and almost lost both of my kids to it. I have suffered from it in the past as did Randy and greiving and depression are two different things.
Please think about seeing someone who can help you work through this nightmare you are going through. I only want you to survive this terrible time you are having and come to understand that there will be joy and happiness again in your life. It just doesn't come to us who have lost so deeply easily. We need to heal first before we can be happy again.
Again, I hope I have not upset you or caused you anymore pain.
Please hang in there.
Heartfelt hugs coming your way.
Shirley