peebygeeby

Hi Dina, I understand how you're feeling. When I was dealing with my Dad's failing health a couple of years ago, it simply was not acceptable that the doctor's could'nt find a way to help him. He had neck cancer. He was treated by some very fine medical professionals, but they could'nt find a way to fix it. I hope that this will not be the case with your Dad, I hope that they will find a way. Please keep in mind that all you can do is do the best YOU can do. The rest is out of your hands. I wish you all the best. Gail

Hi everybody, Thanks for all your replies. They were all so kind and touching. YOU MADE ME CRY!!! Uh oh, here I go again! You all don't know my recent history. Although, I'm sure that many of you have gone through the same things as I have recently. I lost both of my parents in 2006. Hank helped me through it. I did'nt think I would survive. I adored both of my parents, and did'nt know how I would ever live without them. Well, I did, and I am. But I miss them terribly and I know I always will. I remember how I felt when I was helping them through their illnesses. The same way I feel now. I wanted them to be comfortable, to get well, to do all the right things so that maybe things would turn out right. And, I remember being angry, and resentful that so much of my time had to be devoted to their well being. I also remember thinking that I was'nt a good person, and that maybe I did'nt love them enough because I felt so angry and resentful. My parents lived in their own apartment about an hour and a half from my home. We were lucky that they had long term health policies and were able to stay in their home with full time health care aides, but, I was there pretty much every day making sure that things were running smoothly. I thought all of that was burdensome, but I realized that I was lucky because at the end of the day, I could go home and be in my refuge away from the sickness. Now, it is in my home, and I and Hank must deal with it constantly. No refuge, no running away. It is selfish, but I guess selfishness is a universal, not so great human trait. Again, thank you for being here for me. Gail

Hey everybody, Figured I just let this out here, because there's no other place to do it. I'm surprised at myself, and also sort of ashamed at myself. Today, Hank came home from the hospital, after being there a week due to a blood clot. I'm very happy he's home and doing better. I became aware today of how very angry I am about this whole situation. Today, I was just ready to let anybody who crossed me in any way have it! That's really not like me, but today I was not going to take any crap from anybody. And then it occured to me that I am also angry at Hank. My attitude towards him today was less than warm, loving and compassionate. I am really disgusted with myself looking back at the day. Once I finally settled down some, and straightened my head out a bit, I did of course start showing him the love and support he needs right now. I can't believe that I was being that way. It's just that I feel cheated. It's selfish I know. But, as you all know, this was not supposed to happen to us. Just getting ready to retire and enjoy life, and now this has been dropped in our laps. I'm looking for someone to blame, but it's wrong, there is no one to blame but ourselves, and the reckless way we lived our earlier years and spoiled our health. And yet, now is not the time to blame, what's done is done, and now we have to play the cards we have been dealt with grace and skill. I know all of this, and still, I am angry. Thanks for listening. Gail

Hi everybody, Just thought I'd check in and give you the latest. After a week of hospitalization for a blood clot in his lung, Hank was released today. He now has to be on Coumadin to prevent this from happening again. The doctor has also ordered oxygen, which he does not seem to need as long as he's not exerting himself in any way. The doctor does feel that after a while the oxygen hopefully will no longer be necessary. Hank is scheduled for his third chemo session on May 2nd. At this point, after comparing first CAT scans with the ones taken this week at the hospital, the doctor says that there is approximately 20% shrinkage in the tumor. The doctor thinks this is encouraging because he has only had 2 treatments at this point, and also because there was only a 30% chance that the tumor would respond to the treatment at all. So, I would say that things are looking up, and we continue to be hopeful about continued success. All the best, Gail

Way to go Bucky!!!!! YES!!! Gail

Wonderful news!!! That's what we like to hear! Gail

Hi Denise, I hope Tom is doing better. I do agree with contacting his oncologist and letting him know what has happened. Just to be on the safe side. I asked Hank if he thought that the problem he was having was an emergency. He said no. Luckily, I contacted his doctor anyway, we definitely had an emergency situation. I would contact the doctor, just to be safe and ease your mind. Wishing you all the best, Gail

Hi everybody, Thanks for your thoughtful replies. Hank is still in the hospital. They found a large blood clot had developed which is being successfully treated with Heparin. Hank will have to go on Coumadin once released from the hospital, which should be in a couple of days. Also, it seems that in reviewing the first CAT scans that were taken and the one just taken in the hospital, we have significant shrinkage of the tumor after just two chemo sessions. I think this is quite positive news. So, at this point, Hanks doctor is going to continue the chemo regimen and not do the brachytherapy. It's been an exciting few days!!!! I will keep you posted, Thanks everybody! All the best, Gail

Thanks Patti, I'm confident things will smooth out. It's just that we just started dealing with this such a short time ago, and I thought we were on the road to progress, and then this. Anyway, I remain hopeful. I will keep you posted, All the best, Gail

Hi everybody, Well, I contacted Hank's oncologist today because he's having such breathing difficulties. He ended up in the hospital today. Although we really don't know at this point, and will only know after a scan is done, the doctor thinks that either we're dealing with a blood clot, or possibly the chemo is not working and the tumor is interfering more with his airway. The doctor is talking about possibly implanting radioactive seeds in the tumor, and putting in a pulmonary stent to keep the air way open. In any case he wants to do something now and not wait until the complete cycle of the chemo Hank is on to be completed, thinking that if it is'nt shrinking the tumor, we will have lost alot of ground if we wait that long. Anybody have any first hand experience with this? I'd like to hear from you. Thanks, Gail

Hi Deb, I'm sorry things are going so rough for you. I hope that Dave is getting some strength back, and will start to do better with this. Don't beat yourself up. I'm sure you're doing all that is humanly possible to help Dave through this. Sometimes we can never do enough because it is simply out of our hands. Try to stay positive, and relax a little if you can. Dave's welfare depends on your welfare. My thoughts are with you and I'm wishing you all the best. Gail

Hi, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Please take comfort in knowing that Raney is at peace. Gail

Hi Denise, Glad things are going well for Tom. I think it's terrific that he's continuing going to work! No way would Hank be able to do that. Yes, the Neulasta shot seems to be the worst part of it for Hank to. I hope things continue to go well for you both. All the best, Gail

Hi Ned, I sure do appreciate you supplying me with your in depth log. It has helped me put things in perspective as to where Hank should be at this point in terms of energy level, and it has eased my mind. I think that much of Hank's decreased energy level has to do with the fact that he is having such difficulty getting much really restful sleep following treatments. The prednisone in the chemo keeps him awake, and then the bone pains from the Neulasta also keep him awake. I believe that tonight he will finally get some restful sleep and feel better tomorrow. I HOPE! Thank you for your reply, it really helped. All the best, Gail

Hi Welthy, Thanks for the reply. Yes, that is also a concern I have. I do know that the cumulative effects make it harder and harder to bounce back after treatment. But, the treatments are only 3 weeks apart. This was just his second treatment, and I wonder what kind of shape he will be in further into the cycle. I mean, he's got to recoup to a decent extent before he gets hammered again! I just hope he's going to have the strength to go through this whole thing. It's really sort of shocking because he's a big strong guy. All the best, Gail

Hi everybody, Just checking in looking for a little reassurance here. Hank had his second chemo treatment 4/9. Carbo/Taxol/Zometa and then had Neulasta shot the next day. He had alot of bone pain this time. I guess a from the Nuelasta and Zometa combo. the bone pain has pretty much gone away as of today, but he is soooo tired. Can barely make it from one end of our house to the other (house is only 1200 sq. feet) Of course he has'nt been sleeping well either because of the bone pain. He got up today and thought he was going to mow the grass. Well, he managed to get the mower started, and that pretty much wiped him out. Did'nt do much for his spirits to have that happen. I'm wondering if any of you have had experience with this sort of extreme fatigue. Is it normal? Should it resolve soon? We are now at five days past treatment. Looking forward to your replies. All the best, Gail

Hi everybody, I hope that many of you saw the segment on Sixty Minutes tonight about the Kanzius Machine. An invention of John Kanzius a leukemia sufferer, which fries cancer cells without destroying healthy tissue. What an amazing story, if you missed it go to the 60 minutes website, and you'll be able to read the story. I just hope that they continue to work feverishly to make this treatment a reality that will be soon available to the public. All the best, Gail

Hi Bucky, I've never written to you before. I'm kind of new to this cancer thing. My guy Hank recently has been diagnosed with it . I'm not even the patient, but one of the first things that I did when Hank was diagnosed was I found a shrink for ME! It really helps to be able to talk to someone that you know has the professional skills to help you. Talking it out just helps so much, I know you will find relief. The worst thing you can do is lie around, you must stay busy with whatever it takes to take your mind away from cancer. Wishing you a better today, and tomorrow ....... Gail

Hi Gracie, I'm sorry to hear what you are going through. I was in your shoes about a month ago when my guy Hank was diagnosed. I know exactly how you are feeling, I was totally panicked, depressed, did'nt know how I was going to able to move forward. When I found this site, I found many terrific people who are living with and surviving with lung cancer at all stages. They are willing to share and help in any way they can. One of the most helpful things that I was told when I first arrived here, was that Nothing bad is happening right now. At this point you don't know what you are dealing with, and until you find out exactly what the situation is with your sister, and how it's going to be treated, you are just beating yourself up with stress and worry. Nothing bad is happening RIGHT NOW. Try to realize that and relax. Be positive, have hope. Gail

Hi Chris, I think that this is very positive news!!! I am hoping the surgery goes well, and the mass is benign. That would be wonderful. It was me who passed on to you the statement "Nothing bad is happening right now." It has helped me a lot, and I'm very glad that it is also helping you cope with your situation. I continue to wish you and Jim all the best. Gail

Yes, I've read your profile, and it does concern me that since Hank is having breathing difficulties now, how will his breathing be during later chemo infusions? It does worry me. I'm going to have to talk to the doc about it. Thanx, Gail

Hi Lily, I applaud you for being able to control yourself. I would have been all over that guy. What a moron. Gail

Well, here we go. Round 2. Hope he comes through this one as easily as the first. The only side effects he experienced was some discomfort from Neulasta shot. I little extra tiredness on and off. And one night violently ill. I attribute this to massive amounts of Butter Pecan Ice Cream! But who knows. Hank does have emphysema. His breathing difficulties have been more pronounced since his bout with pneumonia which landed him in the hospital where is diagnosis was made. He started using a nebulizer about a week ago. Since starting the nebulizer his breathing seems improved one day, then the next, not so good. The question is: Might the chemo be partly responsible for his SOB? I plan to speak to the doctor about this tomorrow as well. Any ideas or thoughts from you all are appreciated. All the best, Gail

Patti, Absolutely. I agree with everyone else. Go to the ER. They can't refuse you. When the system is not working for you, you have to force their hand by what ever means necessary. Good luck! Gail

Hi Chris, Our experience with getting the results of a biopsy was that it came quickly. Hank was hospitalized for pneumonia, they did a CT scan in the hospital, saw a mass, did a needle biopsy, and had the results within 24 hours. I'm assuming that your husband is not hospitalized at this point. So, maybe it's going to take a little longer. I know you're sitting on pins and needles waiting for the results. But, try and relax. Hoping for the best for you, Gail