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Posts posted by michellep

  1. Well, it's been 4 long years tomorrow. It feels like the longest four years of my life. I have worked very hard to try and re-build a new existence for myself but it continues to be a daily struggle. My "new life" as I call it is far from what I had with Don and I don't want to compare but sometimes I wonder if I will ever have that feeling of total happiness again. I ask myself if this is just the best it's ever going to be and should I just accept it and cherish the memories of what used to be? I wish I had someone to talk to about Don. Sometimes when I try to tell a story to someone I know here they just have a second of silence and then want to talk about something else. I don't know if it's because they never knew him or if they feel uncomfortable with the topic.

    Many of my things from moving here are still in boxes and stored in the basement. Today I went down there and opened up what I had labeled as my "memories". Many of the items I don't even remember placing in there but it did bring me some comfort as well as a few tears. There was a photo from a time I had taken Don to a place called Buffalo Bills. It was a dinner house that had a western type of show on stage. It was his Birthday so they took him on stage, put a cowboy hat on him and the saloon girls danced around him and posed for this photo. He was so thrilled that night and the picture was really sweet. For those of you on FB, I will post it for you to see.

    I moved here to Illinois 18 months after Don passed to be closer to my son who had been here about 1 year before I followed. I had hopes of re-building my relationship with him but that didn't work out so well when I told him the "Bank of Mom" was closed. I feel a double loss because of it since we haven't spoken in almost two years now.

    Well, enough of my pity party.....think I'm going to pour myself a cold one. Thanks for reading!

  2. I just saw this and I can't believe it. I've been thinking of her each and every day since her last update and was hoping for some good news. I'm glad she was able to have that recent trip to spend time with her family before she took this journey.

    We will miss her always.....hugs and prayers to all who knew and loved her <3

  3. I'm so sorry to read this about your dad but I am happy you found this community :) There are many wonderful people here with a wealth of support and information. Please feel free to ask anything you want or just a safe place for you to come and vent your feelings.

    I'm looking forward to hearing more from you soon ((hugs))

  4. Hello Everyone! I was so happy to see a post from you Janet. I think of you often and wonder how you're doing. Sorry your not feeling too well, but you're a strong woman and I'm sure things will start to look up for you soon.

    It's really been hot and humid here in Illinois. I love being outside but try to just go out in the mornings or evenings. Yesterday though Russ and I helped out a friend and went over with our riding mowers to cut her grass for her. It's about 3 or 4 acres and she has four horses there. Mowing wasn't much fun because of the heat but I love her horses :) She even has two mules! She said I am welcome to come over and ride anytime I want. I wonder though if I would be able to lift my leg high enough to even get on one! LOL

    Tonight we have Russ's grandson spending the night with us. He is 7 yrs old and totally full of energy. Wish me luck :shock:

  5. We understand what you are going through as many of us are in the same place. I too still have tough days. It's been almost 4 yrs since my husband went to heaven and I still shed tears each and everyday. It does get easier yes, and I'm hoping for more days when I can think of him and just smile without the pain. I hope the same for you dear one ((hugs))

  6. Yea Katie it is a big change for me. If someone had told me a few years ago that this is the life I would be living I would have tole them the were crazy. But, losing a spouse changes a person in ways many would never understand. I'm learning to just make the best of things I guess. But I'm as happy as I deserve to be?

  7. Hi everyone! Guess it's slow around here lately because we're all out playing in the nice weather :D

    My life here in Illinois is so different than it was in California. Going from a population of millions to a tiny town of 600. City life.....then farm country LOL I spend a lot of time helping cut down trees and even mowing takes two of us about 3 hours. Good thing we have riding mowers because I'm too old :|

    I went to my very first auction last Sunday. I found a little table with two chairs I wanted so decided to bid on it. I put my ticket in the air and just held it there. I wasn't about to let anyone else have it. Then someone told me I didn't need to just hold it up like that because I was out bidding myself. Oh well.....live and learn right?

    We just lost three little kittens in the last couple days. Turns out there is a big fat possum that's gotten to them. Russ says he's going out tonight with the shotgun and wait for him. Coming from the city the idea of shooting something is so hard for me to handle but that's life in the country!

    Hope everyone is doing well and having fun :) Cya soon!

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