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patut

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Posts posted by patut

    Six months today

    in GRIEF

    Posted

    Hi Ginny. Thanks for posting this. It has been almost two months for me and I find myself going through different phases. I cry at least once a day and then seem to get on with it. I too decided to remember him when he was stronger and started putting out photos like when he was a soccer player in the 60's. I bought myself a beautiful heart box of candy half price the day after Valentines Day and am keeping his first letters to me from 1959 in it. Very special because I feel like he led me to do this. It was wierd.

    I wish you the best.

    Cyndy

    My dad has passed on

    in NSCLC GROUP

    Posted

    Barbara. I know exactly where you're coming from. It was similar circumstances for my hubbie. It has been a month and a half since he's been gone and only now am I starting to be able feel some light coming into my life again. Please know that you are not alone in your feelings.

    Cyndy

    Wristbands

    in ADVOCACY

    Posted

    Up North here many are wearing the yellow bands. They are to support anyone who is battling cancer I was told. My daughter bought a batch of them off Ebay for $1.00 each and gave each of my family members one.

    I wore mine until I felt like it was becoming a negative energy for me as it reminded me of my own greiving more then I liked. Taking it off for awhile has been kind of a relief from it. I guess we do what we have to do.

    returning to reality...

    in GRIEF

    Posted

    Hi Rose. I do wish you could have at least another week off, but we can't always control these things.

    My husband died during my Christmas vacation break thus giving me at least two weeks home with my family.

    Going back to work was a blessing for me. I had to concentrate on other things and it was good keeping my brain thinking about other things for part of the day.

    The folks at my work all knew him also and keep on asking how I'm doing. I have decided to accept all their careing. When they talk about him I am reminded how much he was loved and appreciated. I know that these people are also greiving in their own way. Sometimes it's even harder for them to accept as they knew him in their own special ways. I simply thank them for asking.

    I'm thinking of you and hope that you have a good day at work today.

    Love, Cyndy

    They seem to know.

    in GRIEF

    Posted

    During my hubbie's last week he told my son to be sure and empty the ashes in our wood stove. That was a sign for me. He never talked about what was happening out loud but I could tell he had accepted what was happening.

    C.

    Palliative Care - a bit long

    in GENERAL

    Posted

    Margaret, I went through this just one month ago almost like you describe you are doing. It brings back many memories.

    Thank you for posting your message. I notice that it has helped a few people on the board who are presently grieving. I wish you both the best!

    Cyndy

    new guy.. needs opinions..

    in GENERAL

    Posted

    At first I thought I needed all the information (mainly because I saw that most people on this site seemed to know so much about their own diagnoses).

    I pressed the onc for information and she interpreted the test results in words she thought we'd understand. Words like "We wait and see" when we asked for a time frame at the beginning. She didn't always trust the test results and from past experience knew that they weren't always as seems.

    As we went along, I grew to trust her and we decided to not press her for so much technical information. She told us what she thought we needed, and it worked well for us.

    That's just how it was for me. I think I know where you're coming from

    with your question. Hoping for the best for you and your Dad. Do hang in there, and know that you have come to a wonderful site.

    Stupid Thoughts--How do I stop them?

    in CAREGIVER RESOURCE CENTER

    Posted

    I've decided that all thoughts are just thoughts and do not have to be considered dumb. They are o.k. It's all right to have them, just file them away in a special place, you can always come back to them later if you choose.

    I remember dancing with my husband (we were chaperoning a sophmore school dance in November) and thinking to myself, "I wonder if this is going to be our last dance together". I felt bad thinking that way, but turns out it was our last dance together. Actually, I think it made me appreciate that last dance even more. Even the five minutes you spent with your mother has to be good. Mothers understand!

    Cyndy

    My Dad, My Hero

    in GRIEF

    Posted

    I am knowing what you are going through and am sorry you must go through this. I lost my husband one month ago and it seems like yesterday. I have found that it helps to post to the "grieving" forum on this site. There are several of us who are grieving right now as you are.

    My best to you in these difficult days.

    Cyndy

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