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patut

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Posts posted by patut

    Survived the first 6 months…

    in HOPE

    Posted

    My good news is simply that I have made it to 6 months as a surviving spouse as of June 19. I even made it through Father's Day by keeping busy in the wonderful home Tim built for us and which I am now updating.

    With so much sad news coming up on this site recently I couldn't help but post it. Those of us who have lost someone have a common bond. Hopefully all of us can report some type of good news soon. I can't help but notice how many new folks are in the group now, with just a handful of names I recognize from when I first joined up.

    I am thankful for this site and hope I can help from the standpoint of a surviving spouse.

    Cyndy

    Timothy: 9/38-12/05 Age 66 8)

    Returned to work today...want to be back in bed.....

    in GRIEF

    Posted

    Mary, you have a right to feel as you do. It has only been less then a month for you. My daughter came over yesterday and burst into tears as it was Father's Day and she had so memories of her past Father's Days with her Dad.

    And it has been six months for us.

    I notice that the grief doesn't go away, but we learn to live with it in our own way. At least that's the way it is in our family. For me, each time I cry I think of it as an honor to his memory. Then it passes and I am able to move on.

    Another thing that helps me is to write down what I'm thinking - sometimes long epistles, and then shred it up so no one sees it. It's amazing how this helps.

    Just want you to know you are not alone with these feelings. I wish you the best!

    Cyndy

    mike

    in GENERAL

    Posted

    Hello Nancy. I am sorry you are going through this and sorry that your hubbie is so ill. I too went through this with my man and I keep thinking how sorry I am that he went through it too. There are things we can't control.

    I found solice in realizing that I was not alone going through it. This site has been a help to many. God bless you and help you through this difficult time.

    An update from the horses mouth.

    in GENERAL

    Posted

    Dean, I have been following you since I came on here and have often wondered if my Tim might have lived longer if he had chosen the path you did. The chemo made him so sick I feel like it helped shorten his life. I guess I'll never know.

    Love your attitude and descriptions. I hope the depression disappears very fast. You are some guy!

    My best to you,

    Cyndy

    Hard Day For Me....

    in GRIEF

    Posted

    Ann, thank you for sharing your feelings about it. I am dreading even the first birthday in September when I will have to go through what you're feeling. At least there's some consolation in knowing that I'm not alone. I so miss not getting my hugs from my guy. Somehow I get through it- and it's only been 6 months for me).

    My best,

    Cyndy

    It's getting better

    in GRIEF

    Posted

    Just want to report that I think the reason it's getting better for me is because I'm allowing it to happen. Tim passed five months ago December 19th and we laid him to his final rest on Thursday May 12th. We had a family 'celebration' of his life for three straight days and it was good.

    Now I am focusing on the interior of our home - having window trim put up, etc., things Tim just didn't have time to finish…even though he had 30 years (sound familiar?) I can't help but believe that he is having a hand in it all because it feels real good.

    So my point in posting my progress is to let others know that it is possible to go on in a meaningful way. I still have a good cry every couple of days, but I chock it up as an honor to him. I miss his presence.

    Cyndy

    ALIMTA ROCKS

    in NSCLC GROUP

    Posted

    That's excellent Charlie. Tim was going to get started on Alitma but never had a chance to even have his first treatment and I had to cancel his order for it. I'm so glad it's working for you.

    Good Luck Ginny!

    in GENERAL

    Posted

    Will be thinking of you Ginny. I'm one who will be doing some improvements to my home starting with a new front door. Sounds simple but is stressful because Tim was always a do-it-your-selfer and now I have to depend on someone else. I am excited about having a new front door that works well though.

    My best on your move.

    Cyndy

    "Taking the Plunge"!

    in GENERAL

    Posted

    I even think David may have played a part in your decision to move close to your daughter. I can't help but feel that anywhere I am, Tim is always with me. I can feel him guiding me. It is very comforting to me.

    My best to you in your new move!

    Cyndy

    Update on us

    in GENERAL

    Posted

    Peggy. I have two wonderful sons and can imagine how you feel about your guy being ill. I'm sorry you are going through this and am sending all the good vibes I can.

    Hope he gets back to normal asap.

    Love, Cyndy

    Maybe on Hospice very soon!

    in GENERAL

    Posted

    Hey Cathy! I remember when the Dr. mentioned the word hospice to my husband and me and we thought it was incredible.

    But you know what Cathy? It's really just another step in the path of life and it can actually be

    beneficial to you. I learned that hospice is here to give us the best quality of life possible. The hospice people even wish folks would choose to have them enter their lives sooner then most do - to give a longer good quality experience for the living.

    I offered this up to someone here once before and it scared the heck out of them so I removed my message.

    But I do believe it is a positive way for those who can do it.

    So Cathy, keep your chin up! Like my husband told one of my daughters: "It aint over yet honey".

    (((((((hugs Cathy))))))

    Love, Cyndy

    I'm 65 today

    in GENERAL

    Posted

    Thank you all who sent birthday greetings to me. It helped me to have a very good day and meant a lot.

    Words can not express how you folks have helped me through my own ordeal during Tim's illness and later into my own grieving process. You are an incredible bunch here. Gives me back my faith in humanity.

    Thanks again :D:D

    Cyndy

    I'm 65 today

    in GENERAL

    Posted

    Wow- can't believe I'm elegible for SS now. Anyway, I woke up happy, so things must be getting better for me.

    Everybody have a great day…I intend to. :)

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