SDianneB

After all the months reading about people with job troubles on top of cancer troubles and family troubles, it looks like I've joined that little group -- as in jumping in with both feet. Last Friday, I was essentially fired from my job. What makes it really interesting is that I work for my sister. She has been really wound up for a while, pitched a little fit, and when I told her I was leaving the room to let her cool down, she said, "Don't even think of coming back." And that was that. It was my death warrant -- no job, no insurance. I spent the weekend sleeping mostly, so I didn't have to think about it. Sunday night, my mother called to let me know she'd arrived at my niece's where she'll be staying a while. I couldn't not tell her, because she was doing her usual 100 questions about everything, and I wasn't going to lie to her. As usual, she decides I'm wrong, I should just go back in Monday like nothing ever happened. I kept telling her about the "don't even think about coming back" (which had been preceded by "I'm in charge."), so I wouldn't be going back unless she asked me to. I knew that mother would be calling my sister after we talked, because it was very unsettling to her, understandably. Monday, my sister called and offered to come over and talk later, and I agreed. I spent the day preparing myself, trying to figure out what the 2 of us could do to fix this. When she got here, she started out like this: "I need to find out what is causing your problem, and specifically what's causing your problems with me." All me, huh. That just about told me all I needed to know. And it got worse. It didn't end great, because she threw an unbelievable accusation at me that was absolutely false, and I sat there and gave her plenty of evidence to the contrary, but she isn't the kind to admit she is wrong, so that was that. My plan before the talk was to talk to some of the developers buying land around here and see if they'd buy my house, then have a giant garage sale and move back to Texas where my family is. After the talk with my sister, I think it's still a good plan. She and I are talking again on Wednesday, and I think she may want me to come back, but it will be in a completely different way. I really can't (and won't) function with a cloud over me and knowing she thinks I'm responsible for all the things that she believes are wrong. For now, the insurance is in place, but I'm only about $500 into the $1,500 deductible for the year, so have to continue paying as I go for a while, then it kicks into 80%. Over the weekend I was fully prepared to cancel my doctor appointments this week because I knew I could no longer pay for them. Now, I'll see what happens in the next week. I see the PCP today and Oncologist tomorrow, and will see how things go. It's actually better today, because I have a plan, I think. But that's why I've been laying low for a few days and not being my usual ebullient self! It's not a cry for sympathy, just to let you know what's going on, and that I've learned that the world doesn't stop and slow down for you just because you have cancer. The worst is that I really have no sister for all intents and purposes. My brother wrote her off years ago, and I've tried for over a decade thinking I could get along with her, but she just can't be much of a normal person. That is that. I'm still feeling pretty good -- was stiff on Sunday after all that laying around sleeping! Di

Sending cyber hugs and prayers to Lucie -- let us know how things go. Di

Lots of cyberhugs and prayers coming your way, Addie. We're all there with you. Di

Addie: "I've always felt the worst part about dying is all you miss out on after you're gone. " I can't remember who is credited with this quote, but I love it: "I won't mind dying when the time comes, I just don't want to be there when it happens." But, you're going to be kicking butt with these mets, so yes, let's start planning your birthday party. LOTS of cake, ok? Spiked punch, goofy hats - the works. Icky to have to open the veins again, I'm sure, but this is going to get you BETTER. Di

What wonderful news! Well done! Di

Well, that wasn't only a dumb way to try and encourage you, but misguided, because if you really knew me, you'd know that I have the patent out on whining. Yessirreebob. And I will not relinquish my title gently either. So there. I have a sign hanging in my kitchen -- have had it forever. It says "No whining." If I had a spare, I'd be sending it to you right about now! Keep your chin up. Laugh at it like Ry says. Someone was trying to help and just made a wrong turn. It happens. You've had a rough time of it -- I can't imagine having all that to deal with myself. Di

Kathy - the same thing happened to me for a while! Life without chocolate? Aaarrggghhh!!! Thankfully, things returned to normal! A good friend sent me chocolates from Belgium, and I had to give them to the people I work with, because they tasted so bad to me then. Mashed potatoes, bland chicken, mac & cheese -- that's the kind of stuff I lived on for weeks! Di

Ginny. No. It can't be six months. It was just the other day that we were ... oh, never mind. My first "look" at you was in chat one night, and you typed in that Earl was snoozing right beside you. That's the image I got from the 2 of you from the start, and the one I still have today. I think of you, and imagine Earl snoozing right beside you -- always. You're one tough lady, you are. Can't wait until you are all settled in your new digs. Di

Cindi, I watch Survivor when and if any of the people interest me. After a few shows, if they don't, I'm outta there! I love Amazing Race because even if the people are a wash (like this last time around!) it's still fun to see all the places they go. With Survivor, you're kinda stuck with the people and the scenery! I know exactly what you mean. One of my goals in that regard is to live long enough to see the last season of The Sopranos! I remember that feeling well from last summer -- will I see the Olympics again? Holidays? Will I get to vote again? Guess this says something about us of the television generation, huh! Di

No, I really haven't. About 2 weeks after it was done, I began feeling "normal" again, except for the dry skin and messing with the hair. I didn't miss any work from it, went home early a few days when I felt "droopy," but that was about it. And I didn't ever need the steroids. The Rad. Onc. and I agreed that as long as the side effects from PCI were less than what they would be from steroids, I'd not take them, so I didn't. And it worked out ok for me. I didn't have as many treatments as you did, and I think that about the time the big time side effects would have started was the same time I was wrapping up the treatment. Are you better? I hope so. I know you've had a rough time of it. Di

Cindy, I actually was going to take the digital camera, but when I was trying to get out of here for the appointment, I kept getting stopped, so by the time I rushed out to not be late, I forgot all about it. Since then, I'm not so inclined to have a picture, but may change my mind yet! One never knows! Di

My cure-all answer to this is usually popsicles! They helped me tremendously, and are also a good source of fluids. Also, fresh pineapple really freshens the inside of the mouth, believe it or not. Fresh - not canned. There is a big difference. Lemon drops are good too. Hope you find something that works. Di

Well, Beth - one down! Thanks for the update. It's good to hear from you often. Nutty Buddies. What a great idea! I consume massive quantities of popsicles, but that would sure be a great break! Yummy. I'll imagine Buffy the Vampire Slayer going after the bad, mean cells for ya! She really kicks butt, yanno! Di

You've got it. After I was done with chemo, the oncologist sent me for a mammogram. All I could think of was "I need this TOO?" Geez! I know how scary that can be, so you have all my good thoughts and prayers. Look forward to an update soon. Di

It's gone! Yay! Feels great! My first immediate reaction -- brrrrrrrrrrr. So I got the little "fits right next to the scalp" cap out when I got home. The best -- she put some oil on my head, after rubbing it in her hands a few seconds to warm it up, and I had a head rub. Yummy! She said olive oil is good -- cheap, works like a charm! Who knew? No pictures. None. Never. Ha! But, I do have a perfectly round head, that would be really perfect except that when I was little, I was being naughty and jumping up and down on my bed, fell backward, and busted my head open. Ouch! Good thing my dad was a doctor while I was growing up, or they would have gone broke from the doctor bills just to keep me sewed up! (klutz!) Was glad to do this -- to get it over, and to get some relief from the stringy, icky hair that was hanging on! Di

We absolutely are. Hang in there. Di

This is great! Today's the day -- 5:00 pm and the hair comes off! I'm really ready for this. I was mentally prepared to lose my hair with chemo, and when that didn't happen, I really didn't think much more about it. Now, I'm ready - it's time! Addie -- I think I'm on the way to knowing what you mean about "freeing." I hate the thought of washing this strange swatch of hair, having to mess with it, and can't do much about my poor dried out scalp because of it. So, when it comes off, my scalp will be pampered for a while -- it's about time! You guys are the best! Di

PCI = prophylactic (preventive) cranial irradiation It's done as a preventive measure, mostly for people with SCLC who have achieved clearing or remission of the chest involvement. The Radiation Oncologist explained it to me like this -- that when treating children with leukemia, they would achieve remission, only for the cancer to come back in the brain, or from the brain and "reseed" areas in the body already treated. They began PCI as a preventive measure and had fairly dramatic results with it. It's been long enough now that there are some study results available -- all of which show a marked benefit. It's just brain radiation in a lower dose, and varies in the number of treatments from WBR. Different places use different protocols. One study I found is summarized here: http://theoncologist.alphamedpress.org/ ... ct/5/4/293 Di

Sue brings up an excellent point: "These scan reports drive me crazy. Depending on who reads them, they seem like almost no info or it's overkill. " I spent the entire month of October 2004 having to push and prod and squeeze info out of a few doctors who just wanted to sit and wring their hands and do nothing, when chest x-ray and CT reports were showing stuff in my chest. I'm not the expert by any means, but I did know that I was NOT a good idea to just sit and wait like they wanted to. So, I just pushed. And finally got the right tests. And it was just as my Pulmonologist told me from the start. Nothing to be sitting around wringing hands over. Now, we do things differently -- I take any and all x-rays and scans to the Pulmonologist's office as soon as they are done, even if I don't have an appointment to see him. His nurse gets them to him, he looks at them, and if I need to know something, they will call me. The oncologists I go to never look at the films -- just the reports. You know what to do and how to do it so it's best for you, Beth. We're with you all the way. You know that. Di

Yeah, definitely thoughts. My thoughts are that this sucks. Big time. Kick something (not the kids or the pets!) and then kick this in the pants. ok? Di

I have no clue. But it sounds like something we need to kick in the butt. Like NOW. Di

I've developed what I guess is best described as a "2/3 Mohawk" hairdo as the result of my shedding after PCI. It's really strange. You can almost put a bowl over my head (ok, no jokes about southern haircuts please!) to mark where I still have hair. It's like someone just moved my hairline back an inch or so! I'm going tomorrow to get it shaved. I'm tired of messing with it, and it's done shedding -- I lose normal amounts of hair in the comb every day instead of little chunks! My scalp needs to be treated - badly! I'm ready for it. Had my mind set to not have hair when I started chemo, and I managed to keep it all through that, but the PCI did a number on it as expected. And what the heck - maybe I'll be a redhead with curls next go round! Di

I can't recall where I heard this for the life of me, but an oncologist (I think it was on the Discovery Health Channel - one of the "Lifeline" shows maybe?) said that the skinny cancer patient on chemo is a myth. She said that many patients gain weight with chemo -- they call it "chemo belly" even! They give steroids a lot which increases appetite, and many who are too weak to work lay around the house and eat, so she said it isn't unusual at all for patients to gain weight. But whatever. Glad you're back and hanging in there Melanie! Di

Sodium level is a tricky thing, huh. Mine was 119 when I was diagnosed last year -- a little more and I'd have been "off my feet" as the doc said - meaning coma. I have it checked every time I go in now -- about every 4-6 weeks to make sure. Have had no more problems with it, but you never know. My best to you through your tests. Take care. Di

Margaret, what a sweetie you are. I never cease to be amazed at the depth of compassion within people. You are grieving, and yet take your time to reach out to others here. And with the greatest words. Whatever would we do without the little 4-legged members of our families? Di