SDianneB

Whatever the cause(s) of our particular cancers, those horses are already out of the barn. I hear doctors on television all the time saying "If you smoke, you will get lung cancer." Not true. But they continue to say it. Scare tactic? Ignorance? Whatever. Smoking provides an easy out for many, and gives them a place to point the finger of blame, so what would motivate them to donate money to such a cause? It's the misconceptions, the personal responsibility in taking care of yourself and knowing warning signs and what helps in prevention -- all that stuff. Like what they promote so well in the fight against breast cancer. And we disprove that old adage -- what we don't know can not only hurt you, it can kill you. Di

Jen, you speak the truth. Who knows who gets picked out of thousands to be struck with this awful disease? No one knows for sure -- not yet anyway. I think I read where that number is 23% or something -- percentage of smokers who will get lung cancer. The number is about double that, as I recall, for heart disease. Even when people know the dangers, they sometimes choose to continue the risky behavior. We are all just mere mortals - humans. That's what we do. As wonderful as we can all be, we can still be exasperating and screw up now and then! I had a conversation with the woman behind the counter at the post office today -- she had breast cancer early this year, and her sister had it last year. We were having a talk about that and lung cancer, and both decided that we'd like a cure for ALL types of cancer, and NOW please. Can't argue with that. Di

Katie, we have several thousand of them here too, many of which want to stay, and we're glad to have them. At least some of them said to TV reporters that they should have taken the warnings more seriously, but really didn't think it would hit them so hard. And it didn't really -- it was mostly the levees and the flood waters where they were. Donna, my dad said that if I was intent on smoking, I might as well not hide it. Maybe that was at least part of what your mother was saying to you. Maybe she knew you were smoking, and had known it for a while. She may have even thought it would take away some of the mystique if you knew that she knew, so it wasn't your "secret" any longer. I have no clue -- I don't know your mom or you personally. Why hide it from her if no one thought there was anything wrong with it anyway? Lots of fathers give their 13 year old sons guns for Christmas as sort of a "rite of passage" thing too -- how many do you think regret that when something horrible happens with that gun? I'm not pointing a finger at you personally, I'm just trying to say that I don't believe it's accurate to place all the blame on the government and/or the tobacco companies, when it's the humans who are the ones who succumb. We have at least some culpability ourselves. To what extent that is will, of course, vary from person to person. A cigarette, a gun, a bottle of vodka on the coffee table are all 100% harmless, until that moment that a human being takes possession of it, then watch out. Di

I don't know what "those people" in quotes means, but the people in New Orleans who had cars and the ability to evacuate, but just didn't believe a hurricane would hit learned a big lesson, huh. Denial can be a wonderful thing to hide behind, and it's so handy. One doesn't exclude the other. A number of factors combine to cause circumstances, and circumstances have consequences - always. Sometimes good, sometimes not. Did anyone else who smoked have that "uh oh - I got caught" feeling in the pit of their stomach when they were told "you have lung cancer?" I sure did. For a reason. But, forgiving myself is part of the deal, I think, so I had to do that in order to move on. That, and quit smoking at long last, in an effort to assist my treatment and the healing process. Please don't take my words and apply them to each and every person and each and every circumstance. That's rather misleading, and I think most people know where I'm coming from with this, whether or not they agree. Di

Ann, I agree. There are many facets to all this, and smoking is only one. An important one, but just one of many. Since this all started for me, I've dug and dug and researched and researched to find treatments, protocols, articles, etc. It occurred to me one day that had I spent that much time concerned about my health for the past 20 years, I might not be in the spot I'm in today. My choice, my decision. A bad one. I'm living with it, and trying to survive as long as I can. So are all the people who never smoked and who are in the same boat. I think we all agree that no matter what, no one deserves cancer - NO ONE. No matter what kind. And we're all here together to try and battle it in our own way, along with the misconceptions. My way involves no looking back and no excuses for my poor choices. To each his/her own. Di

Doctors knew, in spite of what Dr. Koop used to say so often. Many doctors told their patients not to smoke, and it fell on deaf ears. Many doctors smoked. And yes, I remember hospitals where everyone smoked like fire engines. And doctors offices, labs, etc. Who told us that morbid obesity was bad for us? Did we understand that because we had a hard time getting around, joint problems, blood pressure through the roof, diabetes in droves, heart attacks,etc.? My point is just this -- in order to induce someone, especially a young person, to not smoke or to stop smoking, I don't think it helps the matter by slipping in some excuses and justifications for them -- as in "I smoked, but started before anyone knew it was so harmful." That just builds in an excuse. To look someone right square in the eye though, and just say "It was my choice - a bad one. And here's what happened to me as a result." carries more of a punch. They didn't call them "cancer sticks" for nothing. Di

People didn't know what asbestos would do. Or thalidiomide. Ingestion of alcohol with certain drugs. Smoking and/or alcohol use during pregnancy. Again, there's a big difference in sitting in an office all day smoking, and working in the fields where you can't stop and smoke as much. Lo and behold, they came up with something to solve that problem too -- chewing tobacco. I'm not saying everyone knew, I'm saying that if common sense didn't tell people that what they were inhaling just might have had something to do with their cough, and that there was a reason they couldn't quit, then no amount of government intervention or education was likely to do much good. The more things change, the more things stay the same. People were not only warned but told to evacuate New Orleans days before it became critical to do so, yet several hundred thousand stayed anyway. Go figure. Di

What I learned from my dad wasn't about being warned, but recognizing the dangers in what I wanted to ingest. Most people I knew who smoked also coughed. Ick. I didn't see many quit, because they were addicted and couldn't quit. I knew with no uncertainty that smoking was a bad thing, because it was one of those "forbidden" things by the parents of all my friends, as well as myself. Fay, IMO, it wasn't about widespread information as much as it was about just plain old common sense. At least that's the way my dad put it to me. Unfortunately, I didn't listen to him or the numerous people back then who told us not to smoke,because I was young and feisty and knew better than any of the adults, of course. When my dad was a youngster (he was born in 1905) people smoked, but there was a big difference -- they also worked 15 hour days on the farm where he came from, and didn't have time to sit around and smoke -- they'd have a pipe in the corner of their mouth mostly, but it took some time to sit down and roll a cigarette and then smoke it, so they didn't actually ingest as much tobacco. Along with the American "easier way of life," came more leisure time to actually smoke like fire engines. And after they smoked a few years and couldn't stop, I'd think the "Duh" light would have gone off in someone's head that it was addictive. This is one of those things that the government can't and won't protect people from, IMO. Nor should they. Di

My dad became a country doctor (he called himself a "horse & buggy" doctor) in the early 1930s. When he went to medical school, and until he died in 1975 every symposium he attended discussed the dangers of tobacco. (I guess the former Surgeon General, Dr. Koop missed those classes.) Anyway, most doctors smoked then, himself included. They had figured out that at the very least, tobacco use caused circulatory problems, and when he began experiencing those, he quit - just stopped one day and never smoked again. They didn't know all they do today about the dangers of tobacco (and it isn't just smoking cigarettes) but they knew plenty, and as he used to say, if a person can't tell after smoking a while why they shouldn't have that gunk inside them, then the medical profession isn't going to be able to convince them, nor is writing on the side of the pack. I knew better. Every step of the way. I made my own choices -- a bad one when it came to smoking. It's almost like living near a nuclear power plant -- you know the dangers, but take the risk anyway, because "nothing will happen to me." You may be right -- until the day comes when something does happen to you. There are a lot of people out there who will listen more to an ad on radio or television than when their doctor tells them to stop smoking, exercise, eat right, etc. When the chickens come home to roost, IMO, we have to pony up and take responsibility for picking up the first cigarette. Di (putting on full body armor for this one)

Beth, that was so very sweet of you to share what you and Bill are going through with us all. Through your words, I feel the love and respect you have for him, and it is truly touching. You are both in my thoughts & prayers. Di

Oh, good grief! You, of all people! It's comical. Really. Here's a giant raz to the person who thinks that -- tthhhppppppttttt. Pass it along! Di

Ok. Bosses. Mine is a jerk sometimes, yes. But she's also my sister. Our mother is still living. We are both terrified of our mother if we misbehave. 'nuff said.

I think it was me who posted it, but I heard it long ago from someone else, and have no idea who it was! Di

Pammie, that is good news, relatively speaking. Brain mets are NOT good, but only one sounds encouraging and gives you some good options for treatment. Hang in there. I know your faith will go a long, long way to seeing you through this. Di

I used to have this same battle with my mother - in her late 80s and early 90s and still wanting to drive in the city! Ack! We finally "solved" the issue by her having to move to an assisted living facility near Dallas, Texas where she wouldn't dare get behind the wheel to drive a car in that traffic. But, whenever I'd go home, I'd let her drive a time or two just so I could watch her. She did pretty good in that little town where she lived, but it scared me senseless to think of her going into the city. On the one hand, I'd think that if she was going to die in an accident, so be it -- she'd at least go out doing what she wanted to do. But there are other people on the road, and she was putting them at risk as well as herself. Now, my niece is having the same problem with her mother - my sister-in-law who we think is in early Alzheimer's. It isn't easy, but she says if she needs to, she'll go to court and have the car taken away from her mother. Once when I was having PCI, I was stopped at a 4-way stop less than a block from my house. All of a sudden it was like I didn't know where I was. I felt really disoriented, then realized the street lights were out, and it was totally dark. DUH. But I was so tuned into being careful about driving, that it really scared me there for a minute. Maybe if you just try and joke with her -- tell her you're there to drive Miss Daisy or something -- she'll take it better? Good luck to you, whatever you figure out to do. You have my sympathy -- and my best wishes that you can solve this in a way that is good for you all. Di

Ricky Nelson had "those" eyes, and that pouty bottom lip thing going long before Elvis came on the scene! I watched Ozzie & Harriet religiously when I was a kid, just to see him! Another one was Paul Peterson on the Donna Reed show. He's still good looking! Di

The actress S. Epatha Merkerson (the police Lt. from Law & Order)had close friends who died of lung cancer, and used to be fairly active in helping raise money for research. I haven't heard anything out of her about this lately, however. I think the bottom line is that breast cancer is the more PC disease,doesn't have the stigma associated with it, and is very, very organized, so they can raise big bucks and companies feel like they are doing something when they offer support. And they are. It's important to battle breast cancer, cervical cancer, and all types of cancer, until we eradicate cancer entirely. But ... Like others pointed out, it's difficult organizing people who a) might be ashamed to discuss it publicly, fear a backlash against smoking rather than help with the disease they have, c) believe we "asked for it" by our bad habits, or d) insert the reason(s) of your choice. It's maddening, for sure. Especially when so many in the medical profession are as clueless as a lot of lay people. Di

Donna, I threatened to get a big stick to beat my sister with if she didn't stop worrying so much! I practically banned her from going with me to the doctor, because she tends to talk and talk, and I forget what I wanted to talk about! So, I just told her to trust me and I'd tell her if there was anything to tell! Much as I'd like to whack her now and then, I'm grateful to have a sister here, because the rest of my family is in another state. I bet your brother is grateful to have you around too. I signed papers so that my sister can call the doctor any time she wants and they will discuss my case with her, so that might be another option for you. Just a thought. Take care, and God bless you too! Di

I think lots of times it just comes from ignorance. People tend to avoid dealing with cancer, meaning discussing it or taking it too seriously, unless they have it or someone in their family or a close friend has it. Consequently, most of what they hear about it is breast cancer, Lance Armstrong, etc. -- the stuff that gets the big media attention. Since LC isn't in that category, unfortunately most people will remain ignorant about it, because it isn't something they would take time to look up n their own. Even when you try to tell people you are sometimes met with a blank stare, like you're trying to pull one over on them or something. One of the ironies in all this is that they will dig and dig and read everything they can get their hands on about breast cancer, for example, while one of the facts they seldom see about breast cancer is that it is 95% curable if detected early, vs. lung cancer and the stigma that prevents many young non-smoking women from seeking help early enough to nip it in the bud. I'd like to give people the benefit of the doubt that they just don't know all this. I sure didn't until I found out I had LC. Whenever I can, I try to tell people the truth. Di

Donna, it's difficult, to say the least, to keep up with it all, and the dozens upon dozens of questions we have, each one leading to more questions. The others are right, IMO -- these are things his doctor will have to address. Even if someone else has had the same thing, we're all so different and having different treatments, that it just won't work using any of that as a basis for what's going on with him. I do understand though -- I like hearing about what others experience when it's similar to something I'm going through, but just have to remember that can be risky business. The Oncologist I go to tells me to write down questions, and either bring them when I come in or fax them to the office before an appointment. Sometimes a nurse will call me back, sometimes I just wait until I see her again. If it's urgent, I say so and they take care of me right away. I bet you could call their office any time and ask about this. It make take some time to get back to you, but maybe not. It's worth a try, no? My best wishes to you both. Di

Oooh Ginny - Ricky Nelson! Oooh those eyes!! Remember how he'd roll those pretty eyes singing "Hello, Mary Lou"??? (swoon) Di

Oh golly. This is your way of aging us, right? Ha! Richard Chamberlain. Oh my. Dr. Kildare. (swoon) I actually got to meet him face to face several years ago. He was in town doing a show down the street from our gallery, and did an interview in our place for the local news. He was every bit as good looking as he's ever been, and a very nice person. Yes, I realize he's gay, but who cares? He's still great eye candy!!! I loved him and Ben Casey (Vince Edwards) but Dr. Kildare was just SO dreamy! Desi Arnaz, Jr. and Dino Martin (Dean's son) had a band - Dino, Desi & Billy. I had their records, and loved all three of them. Desi was born 3 days before I was, and my mother used to watch Lucy on television while they were pregnant together! Di

So did I. A kazillion times in my life. And probably that many more before all is said and done. You did what you thought best, as you'll continue to do. Beating yourself up only gives you a black eye and can't go back and undo a thing -- no one can. You have that sweet, darling baby, your own future, and some challenges. You'll get through it all, I promise. For now, just hang in there. It sounds like you're handling things quite well -- I think I would have bailed long ago! My best wishes to you. Di

Lucie, if living well is the best revenge, you got it, girl! You know we love the both of you - bunches. Sending good wishes and prayers for good scans when they are done. Di

I thought I had lost it for real. When I first read this topic header, I wondered why in the world ABC would be looking for quilters? NOW I get it! Ha. This is a good thing, IMO, but it would be just as good to follow a survivor around, and to hammer home the stats about non-smokers who get this as well. Guess we can't have everything. Di