Jump to content

newly diagnosised


Recommended Posts

Feeling alone and isolated is this normal ? Had upper right lobectomy on 9-27-04/ no futher treatment needed had not traveled to lymph system. I should be happy but I'm feeling depressed and alone. I feel as though I am not the same person I was before my diagnosis I pray every single night and thank the good Lord that I am here today but sometimes don't even want to get out of bed. I'm 43 years old and I guess I have not ingested all that has been thrown into my lap. Went out with some girls at work the other night for dinner and I felt as though I did not belong any more, Will this be the way I will always feel or am I going through something ?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Barbara,CHEER UP. It's not all doom and gloom.As you mentioned at times there will be things that we don't feel like we fit in,but on the other hand thwere is plenty we can do.My son in laws were out tracking a deer one of them shot last nite & didn't ask me to help.(I have always helped before).It kinda hurt my feelings.Later at night when they got in the oldest one called me and said Frank,it was sooo thick in there and and so many jaggers and thickets you never would have been able to get thru all of it with your portable oxygen tank & hoses and etc.My feelings were still a little hurt (or my ego most likely).But after reflecting on it for a time I realize that he was right.Sometimes they treat us differently cause we are a little different now.We must get used to a new normal from what we are used to.That new normal means we are not always able to do some things we used to. (although we can try.)

Link to comment
Share on other sites


Yes, you are different. Your view on the world will be different. Your view on mortality will be different. People react differently to a cancer diagnosis. Some people are actually too scared of what could be to do anything about what is!

Try not to let it get to you. Talk to your doctor, find a counselor to talk to, maybe consider discussing anti-anxiety or anti-depressants with your doctor.

Cancer is a big ugly thing, not just in the physical sense. This disease can feed on your fear and continue to grow in your mind. You need to take back control of your thoughts, quiet down the worry, and put the doubts to bed.

I suggest water therapy. Either a long shower where ya can cry your eyes out and no one will notice, or a long bath with a glass of wine, candles, soft music...and "me" time. Relax, breathe... When it all seems overwhelming, concentrate on your breathing...deep breathing....cleansing breaths... Full slow breath in through the nose, completely fill the lung-age you have left, then slow breath out through the mouth. Repeat four or five times.

Your life has changed, big time. There will be a new normal, but it will never go back to what it was. You have lost some of your innocence, you KNOW that eventually you will die. Could be cancer, could be old age, could be a beer truck, but you will surely die. This is something that now rolls around in your head and probably didn't even fly through your brain more than once a year previously...

Take the changes in stride, decide on what you are going to accept and what you are not. It's good to get out with friends, but take the time you need to once again be comfortable with yourself - shoo those monsters back under the bed, close the closet door on their fingers...and start over.

Welcome to the family, feel free to drop in or PM any time...

Take care,


Link to comment
Share on other sites

You've already been given some good advice here, and I agree with it all. The other thing I wanted to say is that it does get better with the passing of time. That is what I needed to get back to normal. You need to get used to things the way they exist right now and get to work living life.

I agree with the anti-anxiety/anti-depressant thing, I also think there's nothing like some fresh air and exercise for emotional well-being. Plus, I'm sure your surgeon is telling you to get those lungs working by walking, swimming, whatever means is good for you. Take that advice, it's really important.

Some people are helped with support groups--that's not what I chose. I did the one on one counseling on a monthly basis for about a year. That has helped a lot.

Your friends and coworkers will probably get back to normal with you. They need time too. This is all a huge, huge shock for everyone you know as well as for you.

Best wishes, stick with the folks here--they are the ones who "get it".


Link to comment
Share on other sites

Dear Barbara,

Welcome to the world NONE of us wants to be a part of. Yet, we're here and we're NOT ALONE!

I ditto all that Frank and Becky have shared. I just want to add a couple things from my own experience with you.

I too was 43 years YOUNG when I was dx.d with LC 9+ years ago. The first (2) years of my journey I sat and dwelled on the fact that I was dying or going to die any day now. :shock::( I even wrote and re-wrote my obituary about 15 times over. :roll: Then one day I woke up from a good nights sleep and I said to myself, "Connie by God, your going to live!" And from that day on I took control back from the cancer monster and became the person I somewhat was before I was diagnosed.

Am I the same as I was before LC? NOPE, nor will I ever be! I apprecate life much more now then I ever did. I have much more compassion for people then I ever had, I even have a new set of friend in this new life. (some of the old friends couldn't deal with me being a LC survivor) Etc.. etc.. the list goes on. But, I no longer let the cancer rule my life. Oh sure, I have down moments, but that's what they are, MOMENTS! I wasted TWO WONDERFUL YEARS waiting to die, and here I am 9+ years later. DON'T DO THAT to yourself! Life is good! Yes, we're all going to die SOME DAY, but I never thought about it before I was dx.d with cancer, and I don't see any reason to think about it now. It'll happen when it happens and I don't think I can do much about it when it does.

Your in good company here at LCSC and your NOT alone. Your feelings and fears are real, and we're just the people that can help you get through this bump in the road. It's Another Great Day to Be Alive!


Link to comment
Share on other sites

Barbara, welcome to our forum. It is normal to be depressed over having cancer, even if it has been removed. You do need to reclaim some normalcy in your life -- do things you enjoy -- to keep from a deep depression. It is good to have a friend to talk with so you can express your emotions, whatever they may be at any given time. You can do that here, of course, and we will support you, but there is nothing like a face-to-face friend to vent with.

You are not the person you were before cancer -- the cancer has changed all that. What we all have had to do is accept that and build a new life, hopefully a better one where we are stronger, more giving, deeper. Good luck, and keep us posted. Let us know where we can support you. Don

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.