Laura Ann Posted January 26, 2005 Share Posted January 26, 2005 As you can read in my signature, my mother is a stage 4 NSCLC patient, however this is not her first battle with this disease. I have been reluctant to share this "story" for various reasons, but mostly because the incredible amount of guilt I feel for not being more more vigilant regarding my mother's history of disease. In 1992 I was 31 and living about 100 miles away from my mother when it was discovered that she had lung cancer. Back then, I was all about myself and my life with my husband and three year old daughter. Mom assured me that the cancer was early stage and contained in the right upper lobe. Mom immediately quit her pack a day 30+ years smoking habit. She underwent a lobectomy and was told no further treatment was needed. She even quoted the surgeon as saying "you'll never have to worry about cancer again!" At the time I thought that sounded strange, after all none of us is immune to cancer, however I thought it best not to question her when she seemed so relieved and happy. Over the next few years I really didn't think much about the cancer although in the back of my mind I often wondered if Mom worried that it might come back. There were times I thought, should I ask mom if she is getting checked or screened for recurrence but I really was afraid to sound pessimistic. After 10 years had passed I felt safe to say that I had no worries about the cancer. When I received that dreadful phone call from my father in November of 2003 I was devastated. How could this be happening? The rest of the story is there in the signature. Things are different now though. Mom is not going to be "cured". But I have not made the mistake of before by not getting involved. I have posted in the past about my strong feelings regarding caregivers and advocates, my mother's story is the reason why. Had I been more involved in 1992 maybe my mother would have gotten yearly CTs, chest xrays whatever, it would have been better than nothing. I know that "what ifs" mean nothing now, but I can't help but feel that I and the rest of my family had our heads in the sand. Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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