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Though I haven't posted often I feel like I have run the whole race here. I have gone from the newcomer forum to the nsclc forum and now to the grief forum. I am not sure if I should even be here yet but I definetely know I am grieving. As I sit and write my beloved older brother is in a hospital 80 miles away slipping away. I posted earlier in the week about his recent journey and obviously it has continued. I was called up there on Tuesday because his wife and children wanted me present when they had to make the decision to remove the respirator he had needed since entering the hospital 6 days before. We made the right decision and the ventilator was removed. Amazingly things turned around for him and for the next day he was able to breath on his own and actually communicate and spend time with us. Last night things again started looking like the end. I had returned home to my family on Friday and my SIL new that today was my son's birthday and that tomorrow is my daughter's college graduation so waited until this afternoon to call me. I know that right now I have to be here for my kids and that that is what my brother would want but I am feeling very alone and guilty for no being there. I was able to spend time with him before I came home and to say good bye , but this makes me crazy.

Sorry this is so long but this has been a great place to vent. Will keep you all posted.


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Please do not spend your time fretting. You HAVE made all the right decisions for your whole family. Sometimes there are difficult ones - as you know. Having some experieince with a brother, I feel yours does, indeed, know that your heart is with him. Hopefully you will get the chance to see him again.

So sorry for your heartache.


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Oh Dawn, so sorry to hear that you brother is failing.

He knows how much you care, so you have absolutely no reason to ever feel quilty.

I pray he has a painless and comfortable passing.

Peace be with you.


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