sorry

[David A]

shouldn't have posted

[cathy]

David,

You are certainly entitled to a pity part. I can only try to imagine what you are feeling. I can only say its the deep love we have for our family and especially our children. Sometimes I think the wonderful happy times can also make us sad. I know you want to be there for them and their milestones. I also think you need to express how you feel, before it gets all bottled up, talk to your wife , I am sure she understands more than you think. As caregivers and family members I think we try to carry on as we did before lc, maybe your wife is just trying to keep everything as normal as she thinks she can. Really David just let her know how you feel, you will probably feel a lot better for doing so. Just come right out and tell her whats on your mind.

[norme]

David,

Dry those tears and get this dying out of your mind. It zaps all the energy out of you and everyone else who goes that route. Look at it this way, you could go for a car ride today and that may be the end. We don't know when we are going to die. If we did we could have one he/////of a party first.

Take what you have, your wife and twin sons and enjoy each day with them. Also talk with your wife about your feelings, but if it is about death, i just explained to you, it takes all the starch out, so only talk to her about the future for the time being....If, and i say if, it ever gets to a point that you really need to talk, then do so.....

You know, all of us, whether we are going through illness or not always think that something could either happen to us or to our children as they are growing up. We always have some fear. This goes along with our love for them. they catch a cold and we worry if they are going to die. This is very common behavier so get your act together and have another great three days and many many more my friend.....

[Eileen]

Dear David

I totally relate to your sad emotions----prior to me being staged, I was hysterical thinking I was going to die in one year---I was planting flowers and thinking I would not be around to see them the next year---here I am three years later still planting flowers and back to normal---complaining about the weeds growing

no one knows how much time we have left on this earth----I work in Manhattan and witnessed 9/11----it makes me cherish each day I am here --

your wife is probably very frightened - it is a very scary thing, and a scary thing to discuss---but perhaps if you open up to her about your fears?

regards eileen

nscl stage 1A

lobectomny 6/00

[Don Wood]

David, I am so glad you had this weekend with the cub scouts and shared it with us. It is a great testimony that we all need, survivors and caregivers, some "normal" time in our lives to enjoy living and not thinking all the time about the lung cancer. And it is perfectly normal to cry at the thought that those times are limited for you. But, as people have said here, you don't know when that will be. You can well get to see your children grow up. See the people here that have many years after the diagnosis. I agree that you should let your wife know how you feel, and let her tell you how she feels. This is a time to draw closer together. Don't pass up any chance to grab onto some "normal good living" as it comes by. Blessings. Don

[Tiny]

David A.

I'm so glad to see you posting and sharing your anguish with us. This is a d***ed rotten disease and you have every right to have despairing moments--just keep breathing and kicking afterward! The Cub Scout trip sounded like heaven and I pray that you have YEARS' worth of wonderful family outings ahead of you. You are living and DOING right now...that's what your boys need. And you're probably right that your wife doesn't completely understand and relate to all the ramifications of this disease the same as you, but I don't doubt she is doing her best. It's great that you can come here to open up the pressure valve at times. Stay strong and keep the faith.