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Ways to cope


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Greatly in need of motivation today, I listened to a motivational speaker on a CD on the way to work this morning.

He said to take a sheet of paper and write whatever problem you were having at the top of the page, but to do it in the form of a positive question.

I don't remember the exact examples, but they were things like, "How can I increase my income?", "How can I motivate my children?", "How can I . . . ."

I've got a whole list of "How Can I" pages to do, but the first one I did was, "How can I cope with Don being gone?" You're supposed to not stop until you get 20 answers. I actually got 21. He said it would get tougher after the first 5-10, and he was right.

Anyway, here's my list. Please add your own tips for coping. You would be surprised how your ideas might help someone else.

1. Keep busy. (Thank you, Ginny)

2. Every time I hear Don’s name or see it on an envelope or anything – SMILE!

3. Remember and think about the fun times, the good times, and the laughs.

4. Every time I see a picture of Don – SMILE!

5. Honor his memory and talk about him often – all his good traits.

6. Think about how blessed I was to have him for more than 38 years.

7. Thank God for those 38 years every day.

8. Focus on God and his unconditional love.

9. Focus on others – love them, call them, send cards, etc.

10. Have lots of projects on a to-do list and then DO THEM.

11. Exercise.

12. Take a walk.

13. Hug everybody.

14. Go back to old hobbies – cross stitch, sewing, etc.

15. Go out with family and friends often.

16. Have family and friends over often for dinner.

17. Fill every day with activity.

18. Learn to speak Spanish. (I've always wanted to do this, and it's an activity that would keep me busy)

19. Call or write somebody every day and tell them I love them.

20. Always remember Don’s faithful, unconditional love for me.

21. Help other caregivers and patients as much as possible with dealing with lung cancer.

OK - your turn. Even if you aren't grieving, please offer your ideas. Be specific. Some of mine are a bit repetitive, but who cares?



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Peggy, thank you. With now having to cope with Mike's death 4 months ago and now my brother's recent death, this is something I certainly can do to help me. Grieving for 2 people is totally exhausting me. :cry: Along with the fact, that I am worried sick about my 75 year old mother. She shouldn't have to lose a child. God bless, Nancy C

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Peggy I did mine on Positive things I learned about LC

My opening line to you Peggy was...Everytime you see a motorcycle smile and give a thumbs up!!

I got up to 17 with a lot of thinking, then I heard a click then something happened and I lost it all. :shock::shock::shock:

I can't even think right now to do it again. If I get a chance tomorrow, I will again...so pissed

I am so $#%$%&* mad :cry:

It's 1:00 in the morning and I am going to sleep.


Maryanne :?

Maryanne :?

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I do a bit like you do to keep positive.

I also each morning, say ''Good Morning Mike''

and tell him how my night was good or bad,

at night I say ''Good night Mike'' and tell

him all the good things that happened to me,

I also mention the not so good things that

were in my way and ask him to help me with

them and thank him for being there for me.

It is now two years and it still helps.



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