Faith is Truly Amazing

[hollyanne]

As most of you know, my mom is having a very tough time. Over the last three days she has completely withdrawn from everyone. It started when her bowels got impacted...you can imagine the indiginities she had to go through. Nancy is an extremely proud and dignified woman.....after this incident, she quickly withdrew, providing one word answers, etc. I finally realized that she was angry, really angry -- and finally had something tangible to be angry at.

My mom is a woman of great faith, and I really thought she was at peace until all of this happened. She had been making it easy on all of us, reassuring US that it would be o.k.

The last three days have been the worst days since she was diagnosed....painful in that I felt like I lost my mom before she is even gone. I asked her of she was mad at me..and she said "I could never be mad at you. I love you." -- but that was it. I wanted her to reassure me that everything was going to be o.k.

I called our minister who is a close friend of hers. Words can't describe what happened. Catharine (our minister) came over, prayed with her, talked about death and the journey to heaven...and reassured my mom that she was as innocent and pure as my new baby in the eyes of the Lord. My mom found an amazing peace again...I can't explain it. It was if she was so mad at God and now she isn't. It is perhaps one of the most beautiful things I have ever witnessed.

I know that the outcome has not changed, but I feel like I will have my mom with me until she leaves for good. I haven't done a good job at articulating this...but bottom line is that God IS good even when feels like everything is crumbling around us.

[mamasbabygirl]

Ahhh, if only my mom could find that peace, I would be OK bc I knew that she was OK.

Beautiful Holly, it is pure and raw faith your mom has and you are right that it is the greatest gift she could have passed on to you.

I know it is hard to feel all the time, but you must feel so lucky and blessed. XOXOXOX to you and mom.

[bunny]

amen, sister. hang in there. I am sending lots of love to you, your beautiful mom and that baby girl.

xoxo

amie

[kimmek]

Yes I have to ditto Lori in wishing my mom had that peace. Everyday now i hear nothing but i dont want tolive like this anymore, and I cannot blame her. Even though we are not dealing with cancer progression but COPD, it stinks. I also though wish i had the "guts" to let her go, but I am selfish and I want her to keep fighting.

I envy the peace you and she seem to have found. You are so right though about the impacted bowels being so disgracing, as when Mom went thru that last year, she seemed to have changed also, but until now I was unable to understand what this really could have done to her emotionally. Thanks for posting this story as it has helped me in more than one way.

God Bless you Holly and your Mom

Kim

[J.C.]

Holly,

Now you will enjoy again your dear Mom,

the worst is done.

Deep down in each of us is the idea of the indignity associated with death and usually it is a well guarded secret, now your Mom is over a hurdle and

she will be able to again live with dignity.

She was not mad at God but at the indignity she had

to go through at the end of her life and now that your minister helped her understanding that for

God we are all his children pure and innocent she is at peace.

Take care of yourself Holly, the roles are reversed

now, your are the mother of your Mom, helping her

each day as she did for you when you were a baby.

Keep each day in memory they are precious.

Hope that your baby and Maggie are doing well.

Love

Jackie

[MilliBr1]

You said it beautifully Holly. So happy your mom has found peace and that you both can enjoy your time together.

[Jyoung20]

GO GOD!!!

[Ann]

Holly, this was a beautiful post. I pray that your mom has found the peace she needs to make her journey easier. I want to say more but JC's words are so perfect that I feel no more needs to be said! Saying prayers.