flwrjunke Posted May 12, 2006 Share Posted May 12, 2006 Last week my sister and I finally got around to dealing with my Moms house. On Saturday we had an estate sale and on Sunday we completely cleaned the house out. It is for sale. This was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Never in my life, have I seen this house empty. My parents were driving home from the beach in 1957 when they saw a sign for new homes. They drove in, looked at it, and bought it. No one has ever lived in this house but us. It’s my Moms house, my childhood home. Every time I’ve been back at the house my brain is flooded with the vision of my Moms last day, her last breath. I so wish I could get past that. That morning, I went into work to do a couple of things and called the house and spoke with my Aunt. She didn’t think there was much time left. I raced down there to be at Moms side. My sister wasn’t able to get there until about 30 minutes before it was over. There were so many people in the house. Our caretaker, my Aunt and Uncle, a very close family friend, a minister from my sisters church and a hospice supervisor. The supervisor talked with me, told me it wouldn’t be long and we could leave her laying there as she was. I sat with Mom, talking to her, holding her hand, telling her I loved her and then a new nurse came in. She took one look at my Mom and pretty much yelled across the room “oh....she’s gone!” No she’s not I told her! So then the nurse says we have to turn her! No! your not touching her, I snapped back. I told the nurse that Sherry (the hospice supervisor) said she would be fine like this. Mom took a deep breath, I called to my sister to get over here. Mom then took one more breath and was gone. I have been so angry about this nurse. We worked so hard to make everything as nice and calm as possible and this dumb A$$ nurse walks in and ruins it. I pray to God that wasn’t the last thing Mom heard. Aren’t these people suppose to be trained better than this? Anyway, last Sunday, after we had finished cleaning the house my sister left. My husband and I were still there and I couldn’t bring myself to leave. I wondered around, cleaning every little thing I could find, I just didn’t want to leave. I couldn’t bear it. It was sooo final. The walk out to the car, the memories that flooded, the mud cakes we made as children layed out on the driveway to dry, playing snake in the grass with the neighbor boys, my boys 1st outings to Grandmas house, and all of the holidays, it was like my entire life flashing before me, so much history so much emptiness. We got into the car and I’m bawling my eyes out. My husband says we can sit here for a while, I told him no just go, then no, please wait, ok go, no wait, ok go. I was totally losin it! Another layer of grief, and this one hit me hard! On the way home I thought of something I’d like to do. Since this has always been my Moms house and will always be as far as I’m concerned, I’d like to go up in the attic and leave a few family photos. Mark our territory or something. Maybe it’s a little crazy but at this point, I don’t really care. Hopefully I’ll find some comfort in it. Thanks for listening. Patty Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kasey Posted May 12, 2006 Share Posted May 12, 2006 Dear Patty, What a wonderful idea of leaving a few photos in the attic for the 'new' folks to find and ponder....... stories they can imagine of the former owners of a very special house. I think it is great. Well, one mor hurdle you've jumped........and a difficult one, for sure. May you find comfort and peace in forgotten memories that come to mind from time to time. Will be thinking of you this Mother's Day.......along with all of us motherless daughters! Kasey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann Posted May 12, 2006 Share Posted May 12, 2006 (((((((((((((Patty)))))))))))))) I think leaving behind a few photos in the attic is a wonderful idea. Have you thought of burying a time capsule in the yard? I have a friend that did that at her mom's house after she sold it. I know there are sites online that you can buy the actual capsule and you add your own momentos. My heart is breaking for your pain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted May 12, 2006 Share Posted May 12, 2006 I think it's a great idea. If I were the new owner, I'd love to find something like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamasbabygirl Posted May 12, 2006 Share Posted May 12, 2006 I'm sure it was so painful and tear filled to have to complete this task. We tried to give my MIL comfort by telling her that now a new family can love that home as you guys did. I also love the picture idea. (((Patti))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Treebywater Posted May 12, 2006 Share Posted May 12, 2006 ((((Patty)))) With you in the hurting. It's amazing how those... Tiny tragedies that happened--like that stupid nurse--in the context of the big tragedy of losing our loved ones haunt us, isn't it? I play those things over and over and over again in my head. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adela Posted May 15, 2006 Share Posted May 15, 2006 That's a good idea on the pictures. Do it. Adela Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mskim Posted May 15, 2006 Share Posted May 15, 2006 My heart hurts for you. All of us Daughters really are so much alike. I feel like I could have been walking with you. ((((PATTY))))) Kim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maryanne Posted May 15, 2006 Share Posted May 15, 2006 I am so sorry and mad that the nurse did that. How inensitive. I like your ideas about the pictures. Please know that I am thinking of you and feel your pain. I had to clean out my childhoods house also and I know how devestating it is. Peace be with you. Maryanne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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