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Today was a hard day!!!

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Today is the 12th day of my moms radation. She had 6 days of chemo also. She is due for her second round of chemo on Aug. 7.

On the way to the doctors office today we had the windows down and my moms hair started falling out. She says "Kimberlie I think my hair is falling out." She ran her hand through her hair and a huge handfull came out. She started crying and cried all the way to the doctors office.

I tried to reassure her that it is only temporary and to be excited about what color it might come back.

It was so heartbreaking to see her like that. She convinced herself that it wasnt going to happen to her.

I have been kinda hard on her about being proactive in her own care. She is like a wet noodle when it comes to the dr. and her care. She wants everyone else to make all her decisions and I want her to stay involved. I have been nicknamed the "witch" by my mother and my three sisters. They say I get things done.

I have three sisters who love our mother. My oldest sister lives about 500 miles away so she has not been able to get here yet. My second oldest is not in any posistion to help my mother at all. My twin sister is there but she feels like its moms job to keep everything straight she drives her back and forth to appts. but leaves everything up to my mom. She feels like if she is not going to help herself then why should she help. ( My mom is still smoking and makes comments like why should I quit I am going to die anyway.) It makes my twin sister so angry that its hard for her to deal. I feel like if it makes my mom happy that I take care of certain things then it makes my day easier.

Geez guess I am rambling thanks for listening.....Kim

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You are a good daughter. I have 4 sisters, and have learned through the years how different our personalities are.

My hair fell out with the breast cancer. I knew it was going to happen, I had even gotten my hair cut shorter in preparation. Yet the day I pulled a clump out, I was devasted. Someone actually said to me "You knew it was going to fall out", but until you touch your head and a clump comes out . . .

So I took an ativan that day. :lol:

It came back curly and cute--I never ever had curly hair.


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Kim...it sounds as if you are doing a great job helping to make decisions for your mother. From reading posts on this board for years, it seems fairly common for parents to want their childrens involvement in making health care decisions. I suppose when you have all this coming right at you, it helps to know you have great children to depend on. Regardless, it sounds like you're doing a great job. So sorry about your mom losing some hair. I know what a hard blow that must have been for her. You took the perfect approach by talking about what color it would be when it grows back! You know, your mom is really lucky to have you!!!

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It is do hard to see our mothers down, but you are doing a great job of helping out!

I know about the B* designation. I was upset at how Mom was treated at her first chemo session (they truly forgot she was there, and she was kept waiting over an hour). I was venting to some friends at my son's b-day party. Turns out one of their sisiters work at the treatment center--she basically called her sister and red flagged my Mom's file so they wouldn't have to deal with me the next time. :lol: Hey--it got Mom taken care of right away!

You know you are doing what is best for your Mom. Sometimes, we don't have to try to cheer them up, but hold their hands and agree that this stinks! I think sometimes my mom has to wallow for a day, and then she can snap back. It is so hard to be there that day, but she usually climbs out of it.

Does your mom have a hobby, etc. to keep her occupied when she is down? My mom has renewed her interest in crocheting--she moves that hook like a fiend when she needs distraction. There were truly homeless folks all over OKC wearing her scarves and using her blankets last winter. :)

Keep doing what you are doing, and vent away when you need to! We're here.

:) Kelly

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I remember the day that my mother's hair fell out when she had breast cancer. That was such a tough day. I remember talking to her on the phone that morning and knowing something was wrong with her. I stopped by her work on my way into work, and she was sitting there crying in her wig. It is awful to see our parents hurt like that. Keep reassuring her that it will be over soon, and that once chemo stopped it didn't take long at all for my mother's hair to come back in. I'm sorry you're having to fight this battle. It stinks.

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Kim - I'm so sorry you and your mom are going through this rough time. And the squeeky wheel gets the oil so squeek or bi^@h all you need to make sure mom gets the attention she needs. I know it feels overwhelming to be 'in charge' of your mom's care. I come from a family of 7 kids so we have all different levels of participation. One of my very involved sisters said it best..."I know some of our siblings can't or just won't get this invovled so they think I should not. I won't hold that against them but I will do the best to my ability to be there and help out in whatever way I can. And at t he end of the day I will know in my heart that I did what was best." Her words helped me. Hope they help you.

Hang in there, your doing GREAT! Karen

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