Frank Lamb Posted August 16, 2006 Share Posted August 16, 2006 This is a repost of one of the late,great David A's jokes.Posted here on June 11th 2004. The Schitt Family It has come to my attention that many visitors to my Web site, when questioned on various areas of general knowledge, have responded 'I don't know Jack Schitt'! This page will remedy that situation. Jack Schitt is the only son of Awh Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, who's married to Oh Schitt, the owner of Kneedeep Schitt Inn. Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. They produced seven children. Their first son, Big Schitt was followed by twin sons, Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt, then by three daughters: Im Schitt, Fulla Schitt, and GivaSchitt, and finally another son, Bull Schitt. Big Schitt manages a restaurant called the Schitt House which is visited often by people who view this site. Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. Deep Schitt and Dumb Schitt now publish a newsletter named the Schitt List that recognize our viewers for their various actions on the web. Our viewers are urged to check the Schitt List often, as it is updated daily and may contain their name. Dip Schitt married Lotta Schitt and they have a son, Chicken Schitt. Dip Schitt operates a hardware store called Good Schitt. Breaking tradition, IM Schitt married Save Faced. IM Schitt-Faced is now the director of the local drug and alcohol rehab program. Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt married the Happens brothers. The Schitt-Happens children are named Dawg Schitt , Bird Schitt , and Horse Schitt. The Shitt-Happens own a consulting firm used exclusively by this Web site. When problems happen, Shitt-Happens is an appropriate response. Bull Schitt just married a real spicy number, Pisa Shitt, and they are proudly awaiting the arrival of Baby Schitt. Bull Shitt is consulted by this site on financial matters and has input on how to run a Web site for profit. ...And now you know Jack Schitt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teresag Posted August 16, 2006 Share Posted August 16, 2006 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted August 16, 2006 Share Posted August 16, 2006 I know David would appreciate that Frank. August 8th marks two years since he died. He had such a great sense of humor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindi o'h Posted August 16, 2006 Share Posted August 16, 2006 I read the announcement in the paper when Deep Schitt and Dumb Schitt were married. Officitating the ceremony was Holy Schitt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teresag Posted August 17, 2006 Share Posted August 17, 2006 And their second cousins, Sacca and Loda, were bridesmaids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Lamb Posted August 17, 2006 Author Share Posted August 17, 2006 I think when my time is up,I'll have Holy Schitt speak a few words of reverance for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindi o'h Posted August 17, 2006 Share Posted August 17, 2006 Y.U. Little Schitt was the ringbearer, while his sister, Krokkah dropped her daisies down the aisle. Accompaniment on the tuba by the bride's best friend, Karta (nee) Deep N. Schitt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted August 17, 2006 Share Posted August 17, 2006 LMAO!!! Too funny. Debi's gonna love this one when she gets back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted August 17, 2006 Share Posted August 17, 2006 Just realized Don Wood hasn't chimed in here yet... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teresag Posted August 17, 2006 Share Posted August 17, 2006 Y.U. Little and Krokkah's half-sister, Lyinn Sacca, said she was in the wedding party, but could never be relied upon to tell the truth, so no one believed her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Lamb Posted August 17, 2006 Author Share Posted August 17, 2006 Buncha Schitt claims to have caught the bouquet but insists that Pila stole it when she went to the schitt house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Debi Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 All I can say at this point is no more schitt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luvmydog2 Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 I overheard 2 farmers talking the other day. There must have been several Schitt family members visiting them. One claimed he wrecked his tracter by running into Pilla Schitt. The other farmer kept asking if it was Horse Schitt or Cow Schitt. I think I heard one of them mention Pig Schitt but I am not sure which one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teresag Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 I've got a feeling Debi wishes we would just schitt up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Debi Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 Good one Teresa!!! Actually, I would contribute something but I could hardly give a Schitt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lisag Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 I like this one. I was just at a wake for a friend of mine, and came across some pictures of the "Schitt Family" from a halloween party he was at some years ago. He and his buddies all dressed up in brownish-black sheets with signs around their necks declaring their names--Jack Schitt, etc... Sounds like I have an idea for this years party! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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