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In October, 2005 my Mom was diagnosed with NSCLC. That year was her 13 year anniversary of quitting smoking. She was having trouble breathing and hearing a wheeze in her breath. She also had a lump that would come and go on her head. A couple of months before she went to the doctor, my uncle, her brother, had passed away from lung cancer. When she went to the doctor, I was optomistic that everything was going to be ok, but was worried. A couple of weeks later it was confirmed that she had stage IV lung cancer. I couldn't believe it. I didn't think anything like this could happen to my Mom. After our family meeting where my parents told me and my 4 siblings that Mom was given a year to live, I became very depressed and slept almost every hour that I was not at work or spending time with Mom. I eventually began hiding the fact she was sick and would pretend that everything was fine. And, everything was pretty good with results and treatments until right before this past Christmas. Mom stopped eating and began sleeping all the time. She was in a lot of pain and had a harder time than ever breathing. She became dehydrated and finally was admitted into the hospital. She had plural effusion. They drained about 4 liters of fluid from around her left lung and now is in a rehab home. She had become so weak while in the hospital that she can only take a couple of steps and cannot perform daily functions by herself. It is killing me to see her this way and I am beside myself. I don't know how to feel or how to deal with the reality of this. I cry a lot and can't help but feel sad, angry, confused, and totally helpless. I wish there was something I can do to make her better and give her, her life back - take away the cancer, but I can't. I am trying to remain hopefull that she will regain enough strength so she can go back home but it is so hard. My brothers and sisters and Dad take turns visiting her everyday so she always has someone with her. I guess the reason for joining this community is that as much as I love talking with my family, it would be nice to hear from others as well - others that have gone through the same things and those that maybe I can offer some thoughts to - some things that have helped me (denial not being one of them). That has just put me back to pretty much day one. Any words of encouragement would help. Thank you for listening to my rambling...

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Mindy, Are the Doctors doing anything for her in light of all this? Any Chemo? Meds? Anything? If not something needs to be done. You and Mom are fighters and need medical people such aas Oncologistsa that will fight also.Pleural Effusion is no the end of the world and neither is Sstage IV. We hav eso many with busy and active lives, who are still stage IV Diagnosis. My Late Wife had 8 Liters Drained from a pleural effusion and fought for another year. If all that was done was Effusion and Put in Home and Left there, You should kick that Doctors Butt. Let us know more details, and maybe there is is something there to be done.

Remember yesterday, cherish today, and Pray for tomorrow. That is the best advice I can give you. Sending Prayers for you and family. you also need to take care of yourself and stay strong for your mom.

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Hi Mindy and welcome.

I am so sorry this has been so hard on you. Believe me we understand. The pleural effusion can be very draining on the body so I am hoping now that she had it drained she will go upward from here. Keep us posted and please take good care of you.

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Hi Mindy,

Welcome to the site. I'm sorry to hear of your Mother's condition. What are the doctors doing for her? Is she on any treatment? She should be on pain killers - that will not put her to sleep. If she has mets that affect her walking, can radiation help?

I think you need to have the doctor take steps to alleviate your Mom's condition. I was also given a year - 21 months ago and I am fine. But I have had several radiation treatments, radio surgey and chemo for most of the 20 months. I feel fine and live normally.

If you need to, change doctors, but your Mom should not be in pain or asleep.

If her condition or her choice makes further treatment not reasonable, then I would look to Hospice care for some assistance.

Best wishes.


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