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I am getting REALLY scared.

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I guess I just don't understand how this can be happenning so quickly. My mom just finished her 3rd chemo treatment and is doing poorly.

Several months ago she was clipping right along, and a couple of years ago she ran in a senior marathon. Now, she can hardly get to the bathroom and is using a walker. In less than 2 months she has decompensated.

I feel this is not going to get any better. I feel guilty because I go to the midwest, but after being there a week, I go back to my home on the west coast...all is sunny, life is good, and I get away from it all. Then, I have guilt for feeling relieved.

And of course, it is now time for all those lurking family issues to come out.

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I am so sorry to hear this news. Sometimes Chemos need to be changes because they are not working. There are a bout 10 different types of CHemo available for the type of Cancer your mom has.

Carboplatin Cisplatin, Tarceva, Gemzar, nAvelbine, taxol, taxotere, Etoposide, Alimta, Avastin!

These are the most common ones. sometimes If an oncologist feels that a combo is not working and a scan is done to confirm this, they change chemotherapy treatments.

The tyoe of Cancer your mom has , is called Adenocarcinoma. This is the most common type of Cancer and therefore the most researched and also the most treatable.

From what I understand, your mom should n ot be having a lot of these problems this soon in treatment. You may want to voiiice concerns to Her Oncologist for better answers. The Oncologist has more info than I do, and can explain her condition to you better than I can.

Keep us posted and vent away if you need to. That is why we are here. To listen and to help you. This is a difficult time no doubt. Sending Prayers for better news.

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Things move too fast with this disease. I am sorry.

Tie the Dr into what is going on and see if there is anything different. I always asked questions twice to jog the drs. mind to really search for different answers.

And don't get tied up in guilt...do what you can knowing the disease is to blame here, not you.

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It is so hard to be so far away. I came and went (midwest and west coast too ;)) some with Mom's illness too, and I remember the feelings that you describe. I also remember being so down-hearted becasue it seemed like Mom was only going downhill. All of those feelings I relate to.

I also know that people rally. I know that people can get beaten down pretty far by chemo and get some of their spark back.

I am praying that your Mom is going to have some GOOD DAYS and that the roller coaster will swing back up and soon. And I'm praying that those good days will continue into a string and continue to build and build.

DO mention this to the doctor. Maybe treatments can be switched up til you find a regimine that will kick down the cancer, but allow her to feel better.

And I can't tell you not to feel guilty because people telling me that never worked for me, but know that you don't need to. You are doing a good job of loving your Mom and caring for her given your long-distance situation.

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Beth, Your story sounds so similar to mine. My mom also began having trouble walking with a lot of back pain right after Thanksgiving. One scan led to another and she was diagnosed with Stage IV NSCLC on Jan 5th. She did 15 radiation treatments to her back and just finished her second chemo treatment. My mom does one chemo (carbo/taxol)every three weeks and seems to be tolerating it fairly well. She is 77 and was in perfect health before the LC. Is your mom doing the chemo every week? That might explain why this is so hard on her. The weekend after my mom has her treatment she feels week and sore, but then begins to feel stronger by Monday (she has her treatments on Thursdays). I think it helps that she has a little time to recover between the treatments. Have you talked with the onc. about why he/she feels this combo/schedule is the best? Does your mom tell the Dr. how hard this is on her (my mom hesititates--I have his number and can call him myself if I have a question or I think there is something he needs to know)?

I understand how scary this is. I've been the last couple of months being terrified, but this board really helps. Good luck--Susan

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Thank you all. You are very nice people.

Many people that I know are going through strokes and other medical issues with their parents. It must be age. This whole being in your 40s thing means dealing with your parents mortality, and ultimately your own.

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