Missing Him

[Mefoster]

It's been almost 3 weeks for me. Some days I walk around this empty house and wonder when he's coming home. I know he's not coming back. Certain days I only cry a little and some days I go to the room where he spent most of his last days and just sit and cry my eyes out. That's where I feel closest to him. I wonder sometimes if this really happened. I can't get rid of his toothbrush. I have a box of his drugs I have no idea what to do with. I don't miss the doctor visits but yet I do. Does that make sense? That is what our whole lives revolved around the last 7 months and now it's all over. Our 32nd wedding anniversary would be tommorrow April 11th. My sons want to take me to supper then. I keep remembering what we did on our last anniversay. Our grandson went with us to eat at Applebee's on April 10th last year. We went a day early because I was having a trigger release surgery on my finger on the 11th last year. John had made me a clock (he loved wood working) and put his favorite picture of me and him standing beside his Harley on it. He engraved it saying - My better 1/2 for all time. I loved it because he made it with his own two hands and I love it even more this year. I am just missing him so badly. Thanks for listening.

[Nick C]

I'm so sorry.

I too still have mom's bag of pills and her glasses and watch never moved from where she last laid them until recently when I finally listed her house.

It's only been three weeks and I am so sorry because I know how intense your feelings are right now.

Give yourself time.

I'm so sorry today is a rough day!

[tnmynatt]

So sorry for what you are going through. It was months before I moved anything of Charlie's. Be gentle on yourself. It takes time. I went through a grief support group that was a big help to me. But, I waited until I was at my lowest point, which for me, was at 6 months.

Hang in there. PM me anytime. Prayers for better days for you.

[Flowergirlie]

(((Max))) Warm thoughts and hugs to you! I feel your sorrow!

Flowergirlie

[crystleshoe]

I feel your pain and I am so sorry you have to feel it too. The main thing I have learned from the people here is that its ok to be sad and its ok to have all the feelings that come from this monster of a disease and that it takes time to soak it all in.. So take all the time you need and come here often for a shoulder to cry on. We are here for you.

[Shelley (MLC)]

I am so very sorry. Shelley

[carolyn50]

I lost my John 30 months ago to NSCLC and it is still so very lonely for me. He was truly my soul mate and I know what you are going through. You just have to take one day at a time and try to enjoy your sons for your husband too. I try to do everything I can for our 3 children. They are the best. And John would want me to enjoy life again. I know there will never be anyone else but I am accepting that. I used to think he was coming home but I do not anymore. Only in my dreams which I treasure. We were married 24 years and knew each other 30. Lately, though I have to say that the wonderful good memories have been back in my mind more than the ones when he was suffering. So, just take care of yourself and be gentle with yourself and remember everyone moves at their own pace. I still have all of Johns stuff and I wear his ring on my right hand and mine on my left. And it feels good to me. Have a good day. Carolyn