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Treebywater

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I know it is easy to fall away from extended family when the links holding you together begin to disappear. I'd say something to make it clear you wish to still be included in the family. Sometimes people make decision for us (isn't her baby due about then--she won't be able to come anyway. . . let's not bother her. . .)and we need to remind them that we do want to know what's going on.

I started to feel like this with some of my extended family so I made a email distribution list so I could keep everyone updated on my Mom's treatments. It has turned out to be a great way to keep everyone updated on what is happening in all the branches of the family. Maybe you could try somethimg similar. I know it stinks that you always have to be the one to initiate the contact, but sometimes you just have to accept that as the price for staying in touch. Best of luck to you!

Susan

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For many many moons people tend to find out "who there friends and family really are" after the loss of a loved one. Your situation to ME, doesn't sound odd in anyway, shape or form. (sadly enough)!

If you have been close to these people, then I say by all means, let them know how you feel. But just remember that may not change them and there feelings by doing that. It isn't so much what others will do when you share your feelings, it's (are you prepared for the outcome when you do that?)

(((((((((((((((((VAL))))))))))))))))

People tend to go in different directions and lives change after the loss of a loved one. Things just never seem to stay the same for some odd reason. Sometimes that's good and sometimes it's not so good.

Good luck my Dear! I'm in your corner no matter what you do!

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I agree with both Susan and Connie.

I "felt" like my family was very close too- until the matriarch and "glue" that held us together passed away. She was the 411, keeping us all connected even though we are scattered from coast to coast and inbetween- none of us had to make an effort with each other because she was our center point, making it easy and effortless.

I've not only lost both parents (I don't have any grandparents either) but in the past 2 1/2 months feel like I've lost my brothers and sisters too.

(I could write a book here about this one)

I stuggled with this alot up until recently, it is what it is, and they know where to find me....

I agree with Susan that your mom's family may have made the decision for you since your baby's due, and I agree that if it's important to you to let them know that you need and want to be included in the family in every way and that you want to stay connected to them.

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You have positive encouragement here already I think. I really agree with everyone in that it is always good to let people, who are worth it, know when you feel wronged by them. I have been not invited to a family reunion before and it irked me too (I did say something, then I was invited and I did go and it was nice, they had overlooked me??? which didn't make the initial ouch all better but whatever).

I am sending positive thoughts for you, baby and all of your family.

Flowergirlie

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Val,

I totally agree with Katie, "It is what it is, and if they want ya, they know where you are."

If there is one very important thing I am now learning, is people who want to be in contact with you will, and those that just cant deal with things go into another catagory, not to say they dont care, just that they just dont know what to do or what to say, boy, do I know that one right now. Its very hard!

Mary

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They might have not asked you knowing that you could not make it. If it makes you feel better, mention to one relative you feel closest too that you were hurt. Maybe you will get an explanation to help.

Sending hugs.

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