Fear of Stress...

[IAAM]

Just wondering if anyone out there experiences anything similar.

I've recently been under a lot of stress. We have been trying to demo and build a new home for almost 4 years now. We have been running into a lot of obstacles. My mother has been under stress also with her business and just now went into the hospital with chest pains (she's had a heart attack, bypass and had nsclc 2 years before I did). Last week we were talking about how both of us fear that stress can affect our health. I was going to post this question last week, but now with mom in the hospital and this past weekend I was having chest tightness and coughing (I think due to the weather, and 1 lung), I thought I'd write now.

Does anyone else fear that stress can affect your health?

Ever since my treatment ended, I have tried to keep the stress low. I've posted before about attitude and have always had a pretty good one, but lately I fear more about the lc coming back. I'm sure it's the stress.

If anyone has any thoughts, I'd really appreciate!

Thanks,

-E

[Connie B]

I lived with a LOT of stress after my dx.s and as life would have it, I still have stress in my life on and off. You can't get away from most of it. Life happens.

However, thee fear of your cancer coming back is more what we call the NEW NORM then anything. Yes, it adds to being stressed, but there isn't anyone here that can tell you how to stop thinking about your cancer. We ALL DO IT! I've done it for the last 12 years. TIME has mad my fear's pretty much go away. I have learned to live with the fact IF it comes back then I will deal with it then. But I just couldn't allow the cancer to control my life anymore and I had to work on getting those thoughts out of my mind.

Talking about it helps the most. Sharing your thoughts and fears to people that totally understand what your going through. And I can tell you this, there are MANY OF US RIGHT HERE! Your not in the alone. Your fears and real, and yes stress can add or cause some health issues.

In the last 12 years for me, I have lost my 25 year old son to suicide, I've had 2 myxoma heart tumors, and double by pass, my husband just had a major heart attack 6 weeks ago AND had chest pains Sunday and I just brought him home from the hospital a little while ago. So, you'll NEVER be able to wash stress totally out of your life. It is what it is sometimes. But we've all been where your at.

Share with us and let us walk with you and offer you support. It really helps.

[IAAM]

Thank you, Connie.

Wow, you have had a lot of stress in the last 12 years! I'm sorry to hear about your son, and hope your husband is doing well. My mom lives in another state, so I'm waiting to hear.

Thank you for your thoughts on the NEW NORM, I do try and tell myself this! I also get down on myself because I should be grateful that I am here and feeling good! Sounds like you, and many others have been through a lot more stress and still stay positive. It really helps to hear that others go through this and I'm glad you said the fear of recurrence fades with time.

I know you and many others here understand and I thank you so much for your thoughts and letting me express mine. I will continue to do so. I have found much support here.

You and so many others here are an inspiration!

Like you 1 lunger, I hope(and plan) to have many more years with my 1 lung!

Thank you again,

-Elyse

[barbara5452]

Connie, I agree with you, I have my moments but decided some months ago not to let it control my life. I live for the day, sure cancer is always on my mind and if it comes to surface again I will deal with it, life is life and some of us could be worse off then we are. The new norm is exactly what it is and there is so much stress with life in general why add to it. I've got to the point I was tired of worring about it. I dont feel good every single day but when I do I make the most of it. I still get depressed and have an off day now and then, but dont let it control me and tell myself tomorrow is a new day.

[beatlemike]

You sound normal to me considering all you have been thru. I still worry about it coming back but not like I did. Sometimes I worry about not worrying. I know that sounds crazy but sometimes I am afraid that I will forget that there is a good chance it can come back and that if it would I wont be prepared to deal with it again. So I just try to hope it dont come back but realize there is always that chance.Lately I have had a back ache where my remaining lung is so you know what I automatically think.I wish you the very best and my God bless you. Mike

[Connie B]

Mike, my lower back has bothered me for some time now. Low and behold it's just lower back problems. My chiroprator has me all better and back in shape for the most part.

We tend to forget the simple aches and pains in life. BUT, the other side of that coin is, if it is REALLY BOTHERING YOU, get it checked out, because peace of mind is worth more then gold. I always tell my PCP any new aches or pains I have, and we just keep an eye on things.

I guess in some ways I gave up on worring too. I was spending way to much time worring about this little thing and that little thing and before long I was just worring about EVERYTHING! So, I let it go and I started to learn how to live and enjoy life again.

I don't worry so much anymore, because worring about it comimg back isn't going to better prepare me for it anyway. I thought I was prepared for my mom, dad, and sister when they died, (they all died from lung cancer). We'll that's when I learned you can NOT prepare yourself for any major life change. Be it death, cancer, car accident, or any other life threatening disease. When it hits then you worry about things, but worring about them before hand isn't going to change anything. I've learned to live with those motos. They work!

Sure I think of cancer things, but it's not my number one thought anymore. It takes time to get that and to put it all together and to make it work. But, when it does happen, it's pretty darn nice.

[beatlemike]

Thanks Connie.Im so glad your here. Many of us that read your profile get alot of hope from you. I wish more long term survivors would post. I know they are out there.Sometimes I dont always feel like typing a response to the new people but then I remember how scared and overwhelmed I was when I first was dxed and how much the relies did and still do mean to me. Mike

[IAAM]

Thank you Mike and Connie. I'm glad you both are here, and share your thoughts. Mike, it doesn't sound crazy to worry about not worrying! I find it very comforting to hear that a lot of what I'm feeling so many others are also.

I get a lot of hope from both of your histories and posts and I wish also that more long-time survivors would post too.

thanks you,

-Elyse

[alexan]

Mike I am like you, I worried because sometimes I forget what I have & enjoy life!!!!! latley I had being down, I don't want to said anything at home. They have being through a lot with me.They need to rest for a while. I don't know but I have those feelings of death caming & I just see it that is like death is nothing, like I go to sleep & the following morning I am back.Weried but really scarred. I have 1 1/2 of a clean bill & I don't know why I woried, talk to a consuler take xanax. but there are days that nothing help.

Thanks bucky

[Eileen4]

Right now I am under so much stress that I'm afraid the stress will kill me or bring the cancer back. My employer is now jerking me around, and I'm scared to death I'll lose the job AND my health insurance. I really believe they're doing this because I now have cancer and am costing too much in insurance/health care. My supervisor has more or less let on that this is what's happening. Whilst I'm doing OK with the LC (at least I was!) I am not doing well dealing with all this stress and fear that it's killing me. I don't know how to continue on--my SOB is really bad and I am exhausted all the time. Does it all never end? How can we be expected to heal and fight lc and have to deal with employment abuse too?

[IAAM]

Hi Eileen,

Sorry to hear about your employer. I've read other posts where others have been in similar situations. I work for myself so I can't even imagine what you and others are going thru with your jobs. I can understand your fear of losing health insurance. I do know that you can get Cobra 18 mths. after your job ends... as if that really helps. I can relate to the stress and the fear of the lc coming back. I am less stressed now than I was when I wrote this post, but also because I just had a stable CT scan last week. I think the fear is always going to be there, but I've learned at this board that it does get better with time.

I deal with SOB still also, it comes and goes. Need to talk with my onc about it. Have you talked with your Dr. about the SOB and fatigue?

Will you fill out your profile so we can know more about your history?

Sounds like you're doing great with the lc, it's understandable how you feel about the employment abuse, I'm sorry you that it's happening to you.

Good luck and please let us know what happens.

-Elyse

[Eileen4]

Hi Elyse,

I tried replying to your post last week but for some reason, could not get the message box to load. Then I couldn't get into the message board at all for several days. Anyway, thank you for your comments. I'm still hanging in limbo about my job...I was supposed to start back tomorrow but it's been postponed until next Monday, pending a meeting. I'm just so very angry and at the same time scared about it all.

I'm glad your last scan was stable...I think we ALL feel the same as time draws close to the next scan. The anxiety and fear come galloping back until we know the result. Then, when all is well, you can totally relax for a while. As folks on the board say, the "new normal." I'll get a profile up soon. Take care!

Eileen