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Mom Dx in July; no treatment

Guest Chinadoll

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Guest Chinadoll

I found this support group through a google search. I am desparate to know something, anything. My Mom was losing a lot of weight and finally had a CT scan on July 13. Tumor found in rt lung and it has metastasized to her liver. She is a 40 yr smoker, quit at 50 when she got emphysema, oxygen 24/7 for the last decade, weak and tired but no pain. Because of her extremely poor health, they didnt' even do a PET scan, saying it would do no good, maybe harm. She is not going to get any treatment, chemo or rad, and because they can't biopsy (risk of lung collapse), I don't even know what form of lung cancer she has.

She is under the illusion that she could have up to 2 years left to live. Since the Dx six wks ago, she has greater difficulty breathing, coughing more, can't sleep on her rt side (too hard to breath).

Does anyone have any idea of how much time she has? I live in NJ and she's in MN so have to travel back and forth. I am not involved at all with her doctors, pul or onc, and would like more information. She may or may not honor my request to talk to her doctors.

Lastly, as she gets worse and the cancer progresses, will she need 24 hour care? Should I consider moving in with her? I have a 10 yr old son and a very supportive husband but I don't know if they could take me being absent for an extended period of time.

Thanks for listening.

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A bit more details about your mother

would be nice


Alone or living with somebody

Any other children in the family

Who looks after her at the moment

How did she managed to get to those


What hospital is treating her now

and after we may have a few ideas for you


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I'm so very sorry about this diagnosis for your Mom. I'm sure you are in shock right now.

Jackie is right, a little more info would be helpful. There are many caring people here on the board that have a wide variety of situations. I'm sure many will be able to give advice with a little more information.

Welcome. You have found a good place for support here in our community.


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I'm sorry about your mom. I live in Minnesota. Again, Jackie is so right when she said we need more info to offer you some good advice & suppport.

However I can answer the one question for you and that is I'm very sure none of us would be able to tell you how long your dear mother has to live.

To often I have seen people that were told they had months left, and low and behold, they are still here years later. And yes, there are those that are diagnosed and within weeks or months are gone.

Having more information about your mother would really make it easier for everyone here to help you out.

I have an In Person Lung Cancer Support Group here in Minnesota at (Regions Hospital in St. Paul) that your mother MIGHT be interesting in coming to. If so, just let me know and I'll give you all the info. We might be able to offer your mom some much needed support or some information as to doctor's or if she has problems getting to and from the doctor's office. etc.,etc, ACS (Amercian Cancer Society) offers Rides (Road to Recovery) (at least they use too). I better check that out before I go mentioning that. ACS has had a lot of Cut backs in there services.

Best wishes.

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I am so sorry that you are going through this right now. The shock of discovery can be so hard.

When my mom was diagnosed, they told us there would be no cure for her, and that all care would be palliative...to provide comfort for her. Mom outlived their projections, and had two more very good years. She was on oxygen, and she was slow-moving at times, but I am grateful for those years.

As I'm sure every one will tell you, there is no way to know times for your mom. Make the best of the time you hae, whaterver that means. Maybe instead of moving there, take several short trips, if your job and life will allow. If it were me, I'd make the trip now, while you are enjoying each other's company---go and make some more memories.

We have several long-term survivors on this board as well. Never give up hope!

Prayers for you and your Mom.


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Guest Chinadoll

Here's the info you requested, on my signature. I forgot to mention that she lives in Duluth, MN. I don't know her doctor's name. The hospital she went to for the angioplasty was St. Mary's in Duluth.

Thanks for all of the kind words and thoughts. I really appreciate your prayers. Peg

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