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Christmas Cards


kamataca

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Yep--that time of year. Usually we send out a "holiday round-up" letter, talking about all that has gone on in the past year. It really isn't one of those obnoxious 'my kids are better than yours' letters, just an update for friends we don't see as often anymore.

I just can't do it this year. Everyone either knows what happened w/ Mom, or if they don't--what an awkward way to find out. But I don't see how I can just ignore the issue, either.

I usually try to get them out of the way by Dec. 1st, but I just can't get motivated this year. Maybe I'll just send card w/ signaures, or a pic of the kids. It seems hollow, but a less painful alternative.

Does it sometimes seem like EVERYTHING is harder now? I don't even want to decorate the tree. We usually do it the day after Thanksgiving (so much work, want to enjoy it as long as we can). It isn't up yet, but we will do it today, for the kids. I wonder how many things Mom used to do 'for the kids' after my dad died. Different perspective, for sure.

Kelly

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To answer your question. Yes everything is harder after you lose a loved one. I really have no solutions for you. I think the best advice is to tell you to try and think what your mom would have done. Mothers have a way of leading us forward and that doesn't stop after they are gone.

Last year was a rough one for my family. Denis had died the February before so it was the first Christmas without him. I like to think that my being there with them helped them through but I know it was really hard to not picture him everywhere.

It was hardest on my daughter's children. They were building a new house and while waiting on it they had moved into her dad's house. For my daughter it was just going back to the home she was raised in. I'm sure she was missing both myself and Denis. To her kids it was the place where they spent all of those special days. Their Paw Paw was everywhere but he was not there. I know that feeling so well because I have felt it each time I have lost someone.

Everything does seem harder and I have found that it never gets easier to lose someone just harder.

Just follow your heart. Do what is best for you and know that whatever you do it is alright and your Mom is probably wispering in you ear telling you what is best.

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Just do what you think you can do, and then do what you have to do for your kids...that's how I see it.

I know there will come a time in life when it's all about "us" and "our" family...but right now I'm all about grieving the loss of "my" family, and my feet are just unsteady.

I usually do a tree the day after Thanksgiving too..and Christmas at my house has always been huge....but....I haven't even thought about doing anything yet.

As for cards...we may send out a few with some signatures...but I figure I can make up for it next year.

We've got a really good excuse for this year.

(((hugs)))

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Yes, everything becomes "harder" and more complicated after we lose someone we love. It's almost as if nothing we have ever done is worth the effort anymore. For now, just do what feels right for you. Our children always seem to understand way more than we ever give them credit for. If there are some holiday things that you just can't seem to get done this year, I'm sure they will understand.

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