missyk Posted April 26, 2008 Share Posted April 26, 2008 It's closing in on a year now since Mom died. I'm not "good" but I'm surviving the past year. Things have a way of never coming out quite how I planned or even expected them to and I'm just learning that THAT is my "new normal". I take blood pressure medicine, antidepressants, and antianxiety medicine. I quit drinking, cut back my smoking to less than a pack a day (from almost 3 packs...yay me!) and have tried a few times to actually quit (something that terrifies me..but that's another post for another time). But...I just don't get my family. My stepdad I can understand. It was his wife and he dealt with losing her in the way I expected him to. He and I talked about every other month or so regularly and in between those times if we needed something or just wanted to talk. We'd laugh, we'd get choked up, we'd laugh some more. It's ok with him. However my brother and sister...the last remaining part of my biological family...I never see and never talk to. I live 4 miles from my brother and his family and the only time I ever hear from them is if they need a babysitter for their kids. I try to call on a regular basis, trying to set an example of what I'D like from them. It doesn't help. My sister I've talked to twice since Mom died. Once was when she came to see Xavier at the hosptial. I've just learned that it's ok that I don't LIKE her, I don't have to like her. I do, however, have to either tolerate the things I don't like or just don't deal with her. I've chosen the second option because I just CAN'T tolerate some of the "stuff". I always thought, said, imagined that we were an extemely close-knit family. We were ALWAYS together doing things, almost every weekend. Now...we just exist in our own lives and don't involve eachother at all. I miss my family. I don't have any close friends that I like to visit with that even live in this state with me so my family was my socialization, too. I'm just confused as to why we're no longer a "family" but now are separate pieces drifting around. Does this happen often or are we unique??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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