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Mental Health Hall Pass


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I'm happy to report there was no change in my scan Tuesday--stable for me, I assume means i'm still in remission, I'm still NED. I asked Dr T if I went off Avastin what would they do, would they put me on something else. She said no, they would just watch me because there is nothing to measure. I asked if the cancer showed up again where would they expect it to be, in the pleural space? She said it could be anywhere.

I should be estatic but the possibility now that I could be doing damage to my heart staying on Avastin has sent me in a tailspin. Dr Tseng recommended I see my PCP or a cardiologist. My PCP recommended another SCAN to look at the arteries in my heart. I just had one yesterdy and have had about six scans and 2 pets in just under a year with another CT and PET sheduled in three months. Between that and terrifying money issues that have surfaced again, I just mostly cry. Top that off with my husband saying that cancer is all I ever talk about. It's not true but it hurts to hear it.

I'll be back when I figure it all out.

Judy in Key West

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Well Judy. I am not sure any of us will ever figure it all out. Good news on your NED though, so glad to hear that. I do know that it can be hard to absorb even good news though. So take a few deep breaths and let it sink in and try not to worry about everything else. You will be just fine. Take care my friend and I am sure you will be back soon.


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Sorry, Judy, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to make a formal request to the Hall Pass Honcha to deny your request! :D

After all, I just got back and after two weeks closeted with my mother and daughter, I need not a mental health hall pass, but a mental health therapist! :(

Actually, if forced to be truthful, my sanity (such as it is) appears to still be intact and the vacation was great. Nevertheless, if I'm back, I need you to be back, too... otherwise, I, too, will need a mental health pass.

Seriously, Judy. No one other than those of us who are in the thick of it understand how crazy-making all the ups and downs and twists and turns are. So chin up, girl, and hang in there. Everything's going to be okay (one way or the other).

With Much Love and Affection,

Carole of the Seas (and now an America's Cup boat skipper!)

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Judy, I'm so sorry to hear about your troubles.

When I was in the thick of things with Larry, I worried that I was a "One Note". Always talking about Larry and his lung cancer and not much else. Truth be told, I'm still a One Note. Talking about Larry's death.

But I would venture to guess that your husband is projecting on you what is on his mind. There are many things that you talk about, but the cancer is what he remembers most clearly. Because it is on his mind, too.

I don't know. I'm just throwing this out there, in no particular direction. You, because you are living it and because you are a trained therapist, know much better than I do what is going on.

But my heart is aching for you, all the same. Judy, I wish a cyberhug felt like the real thing, 'cause I sure would like to give you a great big hug right now.

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Lynn, Wise words about my husband's projecting. Hadn't thought about that and it makes sense. Almost a year into my journey and he still vascillates between hovering and occasionally seeming to pretend nothing is wrong. Don't ever hesitate to offer an opinion because I was a therapist. We are often great at seeing what's going on with others but clueless about what's going on with ourselves. Difference is I recognize it and have tools to deal with it--one of which is to talk and LISTEN to other people's perspectives like yours on this issue. Thanks. Hope your journey in this new phase of your life is not more than you think you can bear. You sound like a savy and strong woman. I'll watch for your updates.

And you know what? I felt that big old cyber hug all the way down the end of the Keys!

Judy in Key West

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