2 and 3 year anniversaries and some big firsts, too

[MsC1210]

I’ve been doing some early prep work for the upcoming holidays, Christmas shopping, wrapping as well as some baking for Thanksgiving. As much as all of this has been enjoyable, for a change, I have had some strange feelings about it all too but could not quite figure it out.

This morning as I was sitting still for more than 5 minutes it occurred to me what those feelings were. They are the anniversaries of losses as well as the knowledge, which I had not let myself acknowledge until now, of the upcoming, painful firsts we are about to endure.

It was 2 years ago November 14th that my son left for Missouri for 6 months of basic training. It was only a week later that my grandmother died very, very unexpectedly from a massive heart attack, 3 days before Thanksgiving. That was one of the hardest months I have ever had to live through.

It was only about 2 weeks after my grandmother passed, on December 7, that I lost, we here at LCSC all lost, Darryl Barnes. Darryl was one of the most inspiring and warm hearted people I have ever had the pleasure to know and I miss him so much. Darryl fought his cancer with such courage and grace and never once complained. I wish there were more people like him in this world. Those who were fortunate enough to have “met” him on here know what I mean and those who were not with us yet, I wish you could have met him.

And of course, December 10th marks the 3 year anniversary of Brad’s passing. I don’t even have the words to describe the void he left not only in my life, my family’s life but in so many others who knew him. I don’t know where the time has gone. It seems so unreal that it has been 3 years but at other times it feels like only yesterday. I still have moments that I want to pick up the phone to share one thing or another with him and it is then that it hits me so hard.. He is gone. Gone but never forgotten….

This year we are facing the holidays without my step dad. Mom will be here with us and we are determine to make things as festive as we can while not losing sight of the fact Jerry is not with us this year. I know this is going to be hard but Mom has been doing so well. I am just praying that this will not be too difficult for her. We’ve talked about the void Jerry’s passing has left for us all and Mom has been able to hold on to the good memories and is doing her best at adjusting to her new life. As some of you know all too well, these “firsts” are so often the biggest challenges we have to get through.

Please don’t feel as if you need to reply to this. I just needed to vent a little and I am feelinga little better having done so.

Warm hugs to all

Chrisitne

[RandyW]

Hugs and Prayers for Peace and sunshine for ya!! I hope that the coming days provide you with some inner peace and comfort. Comin up on 3 also Christine!!!

[shineladysue]

(((Chris))),

My heart goes out to you. I'm sure everyone on this forum can relate. We all have dates in our head and memories associated with them . It can be so emotionally hard to deal with all the memories , the good and the bad, especially during a time that is supposed to be joyous. I wish I could make the pain stop, but I find I can only offer empathy. I hope you can find a way to make those dates special and to create new cherished memories . Those that we have loved and lost would want us to be happy, I truly believe that. I am answering you, but I think I am giving this pep talk to me too.

Thinking of you and yours.

Love,

Sue

[Patti B]

((((((((((Chris)))))))))))

You know I care.

Hugs - Patti

[Nick C]

It's a lot of loss.

But I hope that this holiday season you can have a "pick up" of sorts. Of joy and of comfort. But it is hard the first go around.