famograham Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 Hi everybody Everything is going well with my Mama, which is wonderful. She is flying to Calgary tonight, to spend a week with some of her siblings...and the visit will include a surprise birthday party!!! I'm really excited for her! However.... My Mom's sister, Aggie, is still in the crazy amounts of testing stages. She is most definitely stage 4. She had a brain MRI 2 weeks ago, and it showed a met in her brain that was, at that time, considered operable....it was good news. BUT, yesterday, she had another MRI, and it shows 2 MORE mets....and they were not there 2 weeks ago. This is very scary....have any of you heard of new mets/tumors showing up in such a short time? My uncle is so scared, that he has called people, telling them that they need to come and see her, before... It's all just so incredibly sad and ironic. This is the sister who supported my Mom through her diagnosis, and went to appointments with her, and was so sad when Mom was diagnosed, and now this!? My Mama almost feels guilty that her own LC is such an early stage...and that it looks like she has a lot more time than her sister It's really hard being so happy for ourselves, and so sad for them all at the same time! It's not fair.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SandraL Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 It is not fair Linda, that is for darn sure. And what an awful position for a family to be in. Two sisters at the same time but at very different stages. BUT...please remind everyone that there is still HOPE. There are many Stage 4 people here on this website who are doing quite well. And there is absolutely no good to come of feeling guilty for folks at lesser stages. Everyone just needs to support everyone else. Let's hope they get a treatment plan in place for your aunt very quickly and that it works in fighting this beast. Please take good care Sandra Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
famograham Posted December 9, 2008 Author Share Posted December 9, 2008 Thanks Sandra, I completely agree. I read here every day about friends with stage 4 who are here and loving life I encourage hope at every opportunity, and I believe that Aggie's doctors are moving very quickly. They had wanted to do the brain surgery before Christmas, but now that there's 2 more, it's no longer operable. Pretty soon, she'll be in with an Onc, and then things will get moving. She is so tired of all the tests, and wants to get on with it! As for Mom, of course there's no reason to feel guilty, but I can only imagine I'd feel the same way if my sister and I were in the same position. My Mom is an eternal optimist. I'm sure she will get over the feeling of guilt, but I'd be willing to bet it's a normal reaction to something like this Overall, we are relishing every second of life, and living it to the fullest! It's just a sad moment right now, you know? xoxoxo Linda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SandraL Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 For sure Linda. I get that. Totally understandable. I would imagine they are going to suggest whole brain radiation (WBR) then for your aunt. I would think like other radiation that it is relatively painless but pretty much a given that she would lose all her hair. Maybe others here will give you some information on WBR. Hang in there girl....have your sad moment, we all have them. And then find the strength to move on. Sandra Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
famograham Posted December 11, 2008 Author Share Posted December 11, 2008 Slow board, eh? I guess that's as it should be, with Christmas so close! Hope you're all out enjoying the magic of the season, and also that when you come back, you'll have some replies for me...lol! (((((HUGS))))) Linda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MsC1210 Posted December 12, 2008 Share Posted December 12, 2008 Hi Linda Yes the boards are very slow and have been recently. I am sure a lot of it has to do with the holidays and all. In the meantime, you might try the search feature on the top of the page. I am sure you will find a lot of information there and you can always post the question to Dr West on the Grace site. www.cancergrace.org. Please don't feel slighted. Nobody's posts seem to be getting a lot of attention lately. Hoping that things will soon improve for you, your Mom and your Aunt Hugs Christine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
famograham Posted December 12, 2008 Author Share Posted December 12, 2008 Thanks Christine...not to worry, I don't feel slighted in the least! Just wondering if anyone else has had the experience of brain mets showing up VERY quickly like this(2 in 2 weeks). (((hug))) Linda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MsC1210 Posted December 12, 2008 Share Posted December 12, 2008 Honestly I have no first hand experience with brain mets but it does sound really fast. Try posting the question to Dr West on cancergrace.org. From all reports he is excellent at answering really quickly and there might be someone else on the site there that can offer some more info too. I had to wonder if the 2 "new" mets might have been there all along and somehow missed on the initial scan? I don't know if that is possible but it would seemingly be a possibility.. Keep us posted and if you do ask Dr West, please let us know what you learn. I am really curious myself! Hugs backatcha sweetie Chris Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wendy Posted December 13, 2008 Share Posted December 13, 2008 I am really excited that your mom is doing well! Cancer just stinks! I don't have any experience with brain mets but I wanted to send your aunt well wishes and prayers that better days and news are ahead. Wendy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
famograham Posted December 17, 2008 Author Share Posted December 17, 2008 Well, I've been put in my place by my Aunt. She emailed me a few days ago, explaining that her docs are giving her 6-8 months, and that she is a stage 4 (which I knew from her test results). I emailed her back telling her how much hope there is, and not to be afraid to look for a second opinion. I also reminded her, again, of many of you here, who are doing very well! She emailed me back once again saying she doesn't think she should waste any more time with looking for more opinions, but thanks for all my "hype" I apologized, but I feel terrible. I was trying to offer hope, and support. I do understand where she must be coming from though. She's just received terrible news, and I come back at her with all my hope business....I guess she just can't hear that right now On the Mommy front, she's doing GREAT! She did something SO out of the ordinary for her! Last week, she hopped on a plane, which terrifies her, and flew to Calgary, to spend a week with her other sisters! They even threw her a surprise birthday party...AND she's been out driving (as a passenger) with her sister too...in HORRID conditions, which is also out of her comfort zone. I am SO PROUD of her...grabbing life by the horns like this....I'm just overjoyed! She's coming home tonight, but I think she'll be taking a shuttle from the airport, because I'm not driving in this nasty snow! All my love...and would appreciate your thoughts on this stuff xoxoxoxox Linda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SandraL Posted December 17, 2008 Share Posted December 17, 2008 Hey Linda. I am sorry you are having a tough time supporting your aunt. Because all you want to do is help and support her. If I remember correctly she does live close to you. What I think is pretty hard for both her and you is to be corresponding via e-mail. You can never say it all and never say it just right...e-mail is frought with the possibility of misunderstandings etc. We experience that here from time to time with posts. But your support for your aunt is personal and I think really needs to be done one on one, on the phone or in person, to get you guys back to a good place. She obviously has accepted some very bad news. But she does need to know that there are others out there who keep on fighting and hoping and living life to the fullest. And if she can get in that place, it will only help her have more time. She may need some time, like we all do, to absorb the devastating blow she has received. It is a blow. I have received a few and it takes me some days to get my head wrapped around it and get in a more positive space. So she may be in that period. So my suggestion to you is to talk to her in person. And let her know that all you want to do is support her in any way you can. And ask her outright, what is it that you can do for her. And if she responds with something, then do just that. And if she says nothing then don't do a darn thing right now. Give her some time, call her again, ask how she is and if there is anything you can do. Keep trying. She will eventually appreciate your support. Just simple phone calls asking how someone is doing can be a great help. There are times though, when my phone has rung off the hook, and is unanswered. Just not in the mood to talk. I am sure there are others who go through that. Anyhow...I am rambling. Hopefully there is something useful in all of that. Sandra Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
famograham Posted December 17, 2008 Author Share Posted December 17, 2008 Thank you Sandra That is exactly what I think is going on right now. She needs some time to wrap her mind around all this. Things have been moving very fast for her, and she's completely overwhelmed. She actually lives in Langley, so face to face isn't an option right now. I will give her the space she needs and offer whatever support she needs. I completely understand any emotions she might be having. Thanks Linda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maryanne Posted December 22, 2008 Share Posted December 22, 2008 Linda when you hear a diagnosis like 6 months, of course it is devestating. She needs time to adjust and clear her head. We all know on here not to listen to stasticts as there are SO many here who have beaten the odds. I wish she would go for another opinion. Hopefully, she will have a change of heart and go for one. Meanwhile, I am sorry for all you are going through in your head. You must be so confused with all of these happening so fast. I will pray for her. Meanwhile, great new about your mom! You must be estastic about her progress. Hang in there. Maryanne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
famograham Posted December 24, 2008 Author Share Posted December 24, 2008 Thanks Maryanne I'm not sure if she'll change her mind. I wish that she would though! Yes, it's a frustrating time, but who the heck can say how they'd react to such news...maybe I'd be the same (I doubt it, but hey..you never know right?) She has tons of family support, and we'll all be here for her no matter what she wants to do. It's just hard when I see so many here fighting, and winning, and then just have to support her while she chooses not to fight, but...to each his own Thank you also for thinking of Mom...she's great, and I'm SO grateful and overjoyed. Have a wonderful Christmas/Holiday! xoxoxo Linda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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