Ilovemypoppop Posted June 7, 2009 Share Posted June 7, 2009 I still find it hard to believe that I found out about my PoP-Pops cancer on 2/16/09, and he quickly passed away less than 2 months later. With everyday that goes by, I was expecting it to get easier, but my overwhelming grief has almost gotten worse. I can't get by one day without crying. When will this get easier? I miss him so much, I can almost physically feel my heart breaking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shineladysue Posted June 7, 2009 Share Posted June 7, 2009 I am so sorry for your pain, a pain that really is physically felt. Grief is different for all of us and there are no rules or a time frame. For me, there are days when the pain seems unbearable and then the next day might be much better. Certain things trigger thoughts and intense feelings... Just let yourself feel it and allow yourself to grieve. Hugs and prayers coming your way. Hugs, Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandyW Posted June 7, 2009 Share Posted June 7, 2009 I know it hurts and it will for some time to come! Something that I did to help my pain was Talk to Deb. She is now my late wife after 3 and a half years. Try this sometime. Some evening, after the stars have come out, go outside and Talk to your Dad. Tell him everything that happened today or yesterday or plans for tomorrow. Tell him whatever you want. let it out. Cry Laugh, Scream, (Within reason its after dark) and get everything off your mind. Tomorrow nite repeat the process.. There is something else You need to get out. Its the anger and the frustration. Something I did was to yell or throw eggs at the fence in the backyard. It is a transferal of anger/ Guilt/Pain combined. IT really did work. Keep a Journal. I have not done this but I know people who have done this it also helps. Right down all your feelings, Memories, Jokes, whatever comes to mind. Yes I do miss my soulmate very much. But these things helped me deal with it a lot better! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caren Posted June 7, 2009 Share Posted June 7, 2009 I would like to offer you a (((HUG))) and to say that, like you, I hope that the pain lessens with time. I'm sure that it will. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaminkw Posted June 7, 2009 Share Posted June 7, 2009 I am sorry you are still suffering so from your loss. People here get it and hopefully they can offer you some options to try and lessen the pain. Like Sue said, there are no rules for grieving. Hopefully, you will get some comfort in the response of people who have walked in your shoes. Judy in Key West Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ts Posted June 7, 2009 Share Posted June 7, 2009 My Mom had a similar timeframe, 25 years ago. July and August were all we had. I found I could not concentrate or get through a work day and did take some anti-depression meds for a short time - it is okay to do this if you need some relief. I've told this story before - I was planning to go to a family reunion in October - for my maternal line, and went ahead with the plan. I met 200-300 people, only a few I had met before. Many knew my Mom when she was a girl. There was so much unconditional love that long weekend, I stopped the meds (not recommended to go cold turkey, but what did I know?) and cried, and laughed, and made some new friends. I think it took over a year for me to not think about her with sadness each day, but a time did come when my thoughts changed to thinking of the good times with her, and at times, just thinking how much she would enjoy whatever I was doing now, and wishing she could be here, without so much pain. Love is like that (physically painful), but try to think of your heart opening rather than breaking. It hurts, yes, but there is opportunity there. Hugs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SandraL Posted June 7, 2009 Share Posted June 7, 2009 Hey there. I am so sorry that your poppop went so quickly. As others have said, let yourself grieve. I am sending you a big hug and hoping for better days ahead. Take care Sandra Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Linda74 Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 You are so new to this. We had four months from my 62 year old husband's diagnosis til death. That was five months ago and it has been a kind of grief rollercoaster for my kids and myself. Reach out to all you can and take care of yourself. Unfortunately, after a month or so, many people think you are over it..and of course you are not..grief is not linear, but try to let your memories comfort you....and come here often....we are here for you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alyssa0323 Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 Hello, as many of you have already read, we found out my mom had lung cancer a few days before Christmas (2008) and we then lost her on 2/17/09. She went through sooo much during those last few months and I am still so very angry and hurt because I feel like she wasn't given an opportunity to even try to fight this cancer. She had not one "good" day in those last two months and I felt like it all happened so quick. So many things left unsaid, so many more times I wanted to tell her I love her, hold her hand, have her spend time with her new granddaughter. Angry as hell and numb to this day. I understand and my heart goes out to you. Out to everyone who is so unfortunate to have been affected by this awful disease. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janette Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 It will be 10 months this month and can I say I've gotten better, I can. but the grief still comes, always will now and when it does, it's unstoppable. So hard to go on, but we do don't we. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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