Cathyanne Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 Hi everyone! I’ve been doing so much online research in the past few weeks, that I don’t even remember how I came upon this site, but after reading just a few of the beautiful posts here, I know I’ve found my home… I’m 42 years old and grew up here in Hawaii. My 77-year-old father was just diagnosed with Stage 3A non-small cell lung cancer. He also has emphysema, COPD and congestive heart failure. He’s one of those men who rarely, if ever, went to the doctor because he never, ever got sick. In the past 10 years or so, however, he’s had increasing problems with his breathing and a persistent cough and back ache. His regular doctor turned out to be a quack, who is now in prison awaiting trial on a number of charges. Strange as this may sound, this was a blessing in disguise, because he and my mom had to find another doctor to see. This new doc ran a thorough battery of tests, found a suspicious mass on dad’s lung, and things went on from there (bronchoscopy, biopsy, CT scan, etc.). He was hospitalized for a few days on December 16th for breathing problems and pain. We found out the following evening that it was, indeed, lung cancer. My world fell apart that evening. It was the first day of my much-anticipated 3-week break from work, and that evening I was practically comatose with fear. I’m the youngest of 7 kids, and my dad is my world. (Yes, I am a daddy’s girl, through and through!) He’s the most loving, honorable man you could ever know. He does everything for my mom (who also has a lot of health problems), and I’m not going to lie… I did fret for a bit, selfishly thinking “Who’s going to do all that stuff when he’s gone?” Fortunately, I do have 3 other siblings, and many nieces and nephews who all live within a 5-mile radius of each other, so dad will have TONS of support. It took another couple of weeks before we found out the official diagnosis, staging, etc. Because of dad’s age and health concerns, his oncologist said that surgery was not an option, and recommended a combination of chemo - Paclitaxel/Carboplatin (7 weeks), along with radiation (also 7 weeks). After that, radiation will stop and dad will have two cycles of chemo (not sure if it’s the same two drugs, or a more potent combination), three weeks apart. He just had his port-a-cath inserted last week and met with the radiation oncologist yesterday, whom he LOVED!! It’s the most optimistic I’ve heard him in almost a month. I think he just wants to get started already, which will probably be sometime next week. He has tons of chauffeurs awaiting his orders, although he says he may be able to go to his appointments by himself. My father is a very Type-A, organized (almost fanatically organized) person, so he’s already begun getting his paperwork together. Our big obstacle right now is getting my parents’ house sold so they can move into a smaller apartment that will be easier to maintain. My mother will clean her house with oxygen tubes hanging out of her nose, dragging the tube around the behind her… LOL! Anyway, sorry for the long story. I just wanted to introduce myself, and thank you all for your stories, your inspiration and your bravery! -Cathy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trawna Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 Hi CathieAnn, To borrow from Ned (since you are from Hawaii) his usual greeting ... "Aloha". I am indeed sorry that you have to be here, but I have found this site very comforting and supportive, and I am sure you will too. We've all been there, either as a patient or a caregiver or a close family member, so feel free to share your thoughts and feelings as you go through this tough period. I gather that you have a very supportive family, and they will help you, too. May you be continue to be positive and upbeat, but also realistic (which is just how your post came through to me, I may be wrong). The waiting for treatment is always the hardest part in that you know the cancer is there and nobody seems to be doing anything about it. Once you get the schedule for the chemo and radiation I think you will feel a bit more settled. My best to you and your family: as everyone says this is a rollercoaster ride and you will have good days and not-so-good ones. Do post and let us know how your Dad is doing. (((hugs))) to you all. Jane Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bud Baker Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 Welcome, Cathyanne! Sorry you need to be here, though. This beginning time is the scariest. Best wishes for your father. Keep us updated on how he's doing. I'm a lot younger and had surgery, so I may not be much help when you're asking questions for him later, but there are always people here who've been through something similar who will be glad to help any way they can. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ts Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 Aloha Cathy, Sounds like your Dad has it all whipped into place well. Everyone has a different journey through chemo and radiation, but I think the combo tends to be very hard on everyone. I'd expect he will find it a tough go after the cumulative effects start adding up. Good luck to you all - I can't imagine the energy to move during treatment - one thing I knew was that I had my comfortable home and kitties to come home to. But that's me. It might be a very good idea - especially if it was one long delayed. Lots of info here about dealing with side effects, so keep coming back. It's okay to be scared, selfish, angry, hopeful, or whatever. Remember to take care of the caregivers (including yourself). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
recce101 Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 Hi, Cathy, welcome to LCSC! You didn't say what island you're on, but if it's Oahu, so am I, in Mililani. My oncologist is Melvin Palalay, and I go to the OnCare clinic in the Bank of Hawaii building next to Pearlridge Center. If you don't want to put specifics in a forum post, you can send me a PM (private message) by clicking the PM button at the bottom of this message. Hope to be hearing from you. Aloha, Ned Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaminkw Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 Welcome Kathy. Glad you found us. Sorry you needed to. Your folks sound like great people and with all that nuclear and extended family, I think you can pull off a move. I live in a small holme and shudder to think of still being in one of the large homes my family and I lived in over the years. Like others have said, get ready for the roller-coaster ride. I truly it big ups and downs, physically and emotionally for the one with cancer and all around him. Keep us post and remember one of the most important functions this site has is a place to vent. Judy in KW Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cathyanne Posted January 12, 2011 Author Share Posted January 12, 2011 Good morning, everyone! I am so thrilled to have found this site! I never expected to see so many responses to my post so quickly. It really warms my heart to read them, and I can just feel all the love everyone here has for each other. Jane - you're right; I am trying to be positive, but realistic. I know he's going to have a hard time, and I know our family is going to have a hard time dealing with this, and working out all the other "loose ends" we need to take care of. Unfortunately, cancer is all too common in people's lives nowadays. I've had quite a few friends succumb to this evil disease, and I think it was only a matter of time before it affected anyone in my family. Bud - Is that YOU in your avatar? If so, you look so much like Paul Newman. LOL! Thank you so much for your support. I will definitely keep you guys updated. ts - I think that other than getting my dad through his treatments, the selling of their house is the most stressful thing going on right now. We're a bit "stuck" right now because my brother and his family are still living in one of the houses. Hard to just kick your family out, right? He knows he needs to move, though. He's working as fast as he possibly can to leave. As for the actual move, it wouldn't be outside of our current town, anyway. We're "unprofessional movers" (that is, we've all moved multiple times over the years, but we don't get paid for it. haha), so the packing and stuff won't be a problem. Judy - Yes, roller-coaster is the perfect word to describe my emotions. I've been off work for 3 weeks, and believe it or not, it was almost nice to come back so that I'd have something to keep my mind occupied (even if it is office gossip and "politics"!) Katie - Thank you so much for responding. I love seeing your bright, smiley face as I peruse the message threads! Ned - Okay, y'all... It turns out that Ned and I are practically neighbors! He lives in the next town over from me, which is about 10 minutes away! Even gets his treatments in the same area (though not the same office) as my dad will be. As we always say here... "It's a small island!" My folks may even know his late in-laws; going to check with them on that. My dad is a retired military guy, too, so eventually I may get him together with Ned to talk. Trying to ease dad into this slowly, so I'll keep you posted. Dad got his "mapping" done yesterday for the radiation, and I called last night to see how it looked, and he told me he didn't look at it yet. I think doing so would make it all too real. I asked him the other day how his port-a-cath was healing, and he said, "I don't know, I can't see it." I almost said a smart-a$$ thing like, "Uh, don't you own a mirror," but then I considered that he didn't WANT to look at it. It is rather protrusive, because he's so skinny. Again, mahalo (thank you) to everyone here. Have a wonderful day!! -Cathy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bruce u Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 Hi Cathy Welcome to this great site with alot of information and very supportive member's. The rollercoaster of emotions is the worst at the beginning and as a plan gets put into place, things will get a little easier. Then the focus shifts to fighting this disease. I never had radiation but I did have chemo and heard all the horror stories associated with it. But chemo treatments have really advance with plenty of medications to deal with any side effects. Take care. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cathyanne Posted January 12, 2011 Author Share Posted January 12, 2011 Thank you, Bruce! That's exactly what I keep telling my dad; that they give you meds for the side effects. He's not one to want to take a lot of pills (other than his BP meds), but he's now agreeing to take painkillers, as needed, and I told him to just add on the anti-nausea and other ones he's given to his routine. Everyone's right - we now have a "new normal" routine to live. I could spend all day on this site! -Cathy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ginnyde Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 Cathy, A belated welcome. There are so many good things happening in the lc community in the last while compared to many years ago. Do not let the doctors snow you. Ask, demand and get the answers and drugs that your Dad needs. I am sure he is feeling like a deer in the headlights right now and denial is his way of coping. Work with him, let him call the shots. Be good to yourself too, being a caregiver is tough work. Keep us informed and ask us any question, someone here will have the answer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cathyanne Posted January 12, 2011 Author Share Posted January 12, 2011 Hi Ginny! Thank you for stopping by and for the warm welcome. "Deer in headlights" is a perfect description. I was like that for about a week after the diagnosis, then I realized that I was of no help to him or anyone else by being in that state of mind. I have 6 older siblings, and my eldest sis and I are the closest. It's so weird - when I'm having a horrible time, she can just pick me right up and calm me down; and when she's having a rough time with this, it's my turn to be calm and reassuring. He just called to say he met with the surgeon who installed his port, and everything looks great. Tomorrow we set up the chemo schedule. And... awaaaaaay we go! -Cathy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaminkw Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 Cathy, yes we are a great bunch but it says something good about you that you connected with us so warmly. And I am so jealous. You may even get to meet Ned. He's one of the first people I connected with on this site. He's not on every day but I try to never miss one of his posts. He is one of my "hero" survivors. I think it would be so great if your Dad could meet him. He will see what is possible for him. Judy in KW Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joppette Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 Welcome here darling. You've obviously already felt our love. Keep posting and letting us know what is going on. Hope that you and Ned get to meet. We have prayers for you and your family. MI Judy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fillise Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 Cathy, I'd like to wish you a belated welcome to our little corner of the internet. This is a great spot for support and information. Susan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cathyanne Posted January 14, 2011 Author Share Posted January 14, 2011 Judy and Susan- Thank you both so much for the warm welcome! I have a feeling I'll be spending more and more time on this site than the other garbage I usually peruse over the internet. LOL! I wasn't sure how long I'm supposed to post here before I move over to the "My Story" section, so I posted an update over there yesterday, and will probably just "plop myself" there from now on. As we say here... "It's Aloha Friday... no work till Monday!" -Cathy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
recce101 Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 Hi again, Cathy: There's a lot of overlap in these forums, but the My Story forum is intended as sort of a reference library of detailed accounts, generally chronological, updated periodically, of people's experiences through the various aspects of cancer diagnosis and treatment. Other good places to post, depending on the subject, are LC Survivors (general topics), NSCLC & Mesothelioma (specific issues concerning those diseases), Test Time/Updates, and Good News. For caregiver issues there's also Family Members/Caregivers. In truth, it doesn't really matter that much, since most members use the "View new posts" feature and will see every new post regardless of which forum it's in, and if it's clearly misplaced, a moderator can move a topic thread to a more appropriate forum. Sent you another PM this morning. Take care, Ned Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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