The Spirit Pool (repost)

[DeanCarl]

Seems like a lot of folks here (including me) are walking the rough part of this road we are all on. This is a repost of something I posted last year. I think maybe it'll help. It helps me when I read it.

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I keep seeing, at various times in the regular forums and in PMs, statements like, "I can't do this" and "I'm not ready for this". It got me to thinking a bit about not just cancer, but all the tough times many of us have faced, and, somehow, survived. The followng are just some thoughts on this:

Are any of us EVER ready for something like this? We all seem to have this senerio of growing older and slowly fading away. Then, all of a sudden, we learn that may not happen. The word "cancer" is spoken and EVERYHING changes. Whether we are activily fighting the disease or letting it run it's course makes no difference. The life we had invisioned for ourselves and our loved ones ceases to exist and a different life emirges. A life of constant uncertanty and, if we let it, anxiety. A good part of our day is spent telling ourselves, "I can't do this!". But you know something? We CAN do this. Somehow, some way, through all the confusion, through all the ups and downs, the joys and the sorrows we get it done. We make it through one more day. And, if we take the time, we find ways to actualy enjoy each day. Not every day and not all day. Maybe only a few minutes here and there. Maybe a bit more on the "good" days. But even a few minutes of joy can be enough, at least for this day.

How does that work? Heck, I don't know. I'm "winging it" through this right along with everybody else. And I think that's one of the reasons, come to think of it. We do this TOGETHER, each of us adding a bit to what I like the call the "spirit pool". There are a few rare individuals who's individual spirit pool is large enough, deep enough, and full enough to handle anything that comes down the pike. Those folks are few and far between and *I'm* sure not one of them. But if we combine our spirit pools into one big one there seems to be enough.

And what is it that adds to that spirit pool? Anytime we share a little of ourselves more is added. Every laugh, every smile, every tear or cry of anguish that is shared with others adds more. And it seems that even drawing what we need from it adds more to it.

That's why, in my opinion, places like this are so important. Places where people are willing to share not only information, but themselves. Without this place and places like it (though I wonder, sometimes, if there is ANY place like this!) the spirit pool would soon be dry and I shudder to think of where we'd be then.

I guess this is just my long winded way of saying "thank you for being here".

Dean

[Andrea]

That was beautiful. It literally bought tears to my eyes. Thank you Dean.

[Guest bean_si (Not Active)]

It helps when I read it too. Thanks Dean, I needed that tonight - or rather this morning - sleep often evades me.

I had to look at your profile after reading that - I thought surely your occupation was a writer.

Cat

[jamie]

Dean,

Well said. Everything is so true. You and everyone else on this board help me more than you guys will ever know. Whenever Im down, someone replies to my post making me feel better. Every time. Your words ring true for me!

Jamie

[Jana_W]

Dean

That was so beautiful to read. As a daughter of Mum with Stage IV NSCLC I often find myself thinking "why is this happening", "this is too hard for me", "life is so unfair". And when I start to get really down I think about the future and my huge fear of the impending unknown. I am trying hard to be stronger and more circumspect about it and I will print out what you wrote to remind myself of the strength I can have, and the strength I can draw on when I need it. And also to remind myself that even if I am only happy for an hour or so in a given day, that is still a time of happiness and something to be cherished. Thankyou, thankyou for writing what you did. It certainly struck a chord with me.

Jana

xxxxx

[Elaine]

Dean,

I thank you too. It seems very lonely and I admit frightening on the board without you posting. At chat time, I didn't realize how much I depended on seeing you logged in, and then "hearing your dinner bell ring." Today is a day I keep saying, "I can't." I want to cry. So I will just read your post, and try with all my might to be like the little engine who could, who said, "I think I can. I think I can."

I so hope for all the best to come your way each day.

Elaine

[mini george]

dean,without your posts the last few months a lot of people including me, there would have been a lot more lost and frightened souls.i want to thank you for smoothing things out with your words of wisdom and thoughtfulness.

mini george

[stand4hope]

Thank you, Dean. YOU'RE THE BEST!!!

Love,

Peggy