Spanky3 Posted June 6, 2004 Share Posted June 6, 2004 I'm not quite sure how to phrase this correctly, but here goes . . . How do you get your family member with lc to help themselves? My SIL is going through with tx but has basically given up. Refuses to go to any counseling but is so incredibly depressed - won't go to work (hasn't in months), barely leaves the house, has absolutely no enjoyment in life whatsoever. She is completely negative about everything and sees only the negative in everything. At this point she is barely talking to her docs, not pushing for test results, doesn't tell them when she's hurts, etc. If we try to be positive she snaps. We don't know how to help her anymore and as I said, she refuses counseling. She has depression medication which I believe she is over using. I just want her to begin to fight and she just refuses. It is so hard to watch and even harder to listen to. Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted June 6, 2004 Share Posted June 6, 2004 How long has she been on the anti-depressents? Some take awhile to get to the therapeutic blood level. I don't know what to tell you except that if the meds don't work she may need to switch. Sounds like you're doing what you can...I'm sure others will have some ideas.. Hope things improve. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted June 6, 2004 Share Posted June 6, 2004 Walk up to her, place one hand on each of her shoulders and shake the daylights out of her.... Nah, that only works in the movies... Does your sister attend church, or if not, DID she prior to diagnosis? If so, can you get in contact with her clergyman to come and do a house visit? Can you print out some of the hero stories from here, stories of real people who are fighting and at least staying even? Can you go with her to a doctor's appointment regarding her anti-depressants? Drag her butt out of the house and "make" her go out to lunch? Walking in a botanical garden? I dunno...I never felt like anybody was gonna let me "not try". I so wanted to stay in bed with the covers over my head and they kept poking me with sticks... Talk to a cancer counselor yourself, ask what you should do...that's my best suggestion... Good luck! Becky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stand4hope Posted June 6, 2004 Share Posted June 6, 2004 Was she a negative person before diagnosis? If so, this might be really hard to change. How about a puppy? It takes a pretty tough cookie to not warm up and smile at a little puppy or kitten. Can she have animals where she lives? If not, borrow somebody's puppy and take it with you when you visit. Good luck and God bless, Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spanky3 Posted June 6, 2004 Author Share Posted June 6, 2004 She's been on the meds for 6 months now, since dx. She is not and was not religious and poking with sticks doesn't seem to be working. Unfortunately, we live more than an hour away which makes daily visits impossible since we still have to work and all. I was hoping that her husband would "poke' her more, but he seems as much or more paralyzed than she is. I think talking to a counselor myself is a good idea. Is there a particular kind I should look for? Her attitude frightens me b/c I think she's just given up and it is WAY too soon for that, if that is ever appropriate. She's a young woman, early 40s, and has SO much to live for. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spanky3 Posted June 6, 2004 Author Share Posted June 6, 2004 She was absolutely NOT a a negative person before, and she has a dog already that she loves. About the only thing she seems to find any enjoyment in is walking her dog. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted June 6, 2004 Share Posted June 6, 2004 Try your local ACS for either THEIR counselor or a referal to one in the community. The counselor at ACS is free to see...and has a background (usually) in some type of medical/cancer field. I don't know how to help you with the poking - my husband had the longest, sharpest stick (probably 11 feet long 'cuz when I'm grouchy, he wouldn't dare come near me with a 10 foot pole) and made sure I was out of bed and dressed daily OR that I was lined up for my mother to beat on the head with a stick. No pity parties after surgery, not in the daylight hours. My pity and I hung out at night. My job site is a chemical production plant and "my guys" work round the clock (four shifts) and when I couldn't sleep, I'd call and talk to "the guys"... I don't know where you live, I live in Dow country. If I'm close to your sister, let me know. My phone works...maybe I can give her a good poke...(well, you could give her my number and I wouldn't invade her space until she reached out). Good luck! Becky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ahhappy Posted June 9, 2004 Share Posted June 9, 2004 But she is still seeking treatment, right? That's a positive sign. She can't have given up altogether if she's seeking treatment. Does she have family living with her? What do they say? Sorry if I missed this info. Amy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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