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how can I be of some better support


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Hi Mike and WELCOME,

We probably need a little more information to give you some help. My husband has NSCLC, but there are a lot of SCLC patients and caregivers on here that will give you all they've got. They probably need to know a little more about the cancer, though, like when she was diagnosed, how extensive is it, what is the treatment plan, and what exactly is she saying when she says it's useless, etc.

We will do absolutely everything we can to help you. I know that I have been helped so much by everyone on this board, and they will be here for you, too.

Keep us posted.

God bless you,


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Sorry you had to find us, but you have come to the right place. Give us as much details as you can and I promise that there will be someone here who will have an answer or will be able to direct you to the right place. Your wife is probably scared out of her mind (as I am sure are you) because you have looked on some websites that list some pretty grim statistics. But the people here are not statistics, they are survivors. The information on many websites are old and outdated. Your ride won't be easy, but the folks here are an unbelievable source of inspiration, hope, and love. So drop us a line and let us know how we can help.


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Guest bean_si (Not Active)

Mike, I realize it might be too hard at this point to write all the details of your wife's illness. Maybe you could do it in the next few days? Let your wife know there is a huge community of survivors who would like to help her. Let her know that there are MILLIONS of survivors.

from: http://www.blochcancer.org/

"9,294,546 Americans are alive today with a history of serious cancer because they didn't give up hope and fought their disease."

If she was just diagnosed, I would bet that both of you are in shock. Know that you are not alone and we are praying for you both.

I would like to recommend the video by Bernie Siegel, Fight for your Life.

Take care,


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Just be there and let her know how much you love her, all else will fall into place. Hold her when she cries and go with her to her appointments. Just stand by her and you can do no wrong.

I always felt very sorry for women at the chemo center who were there alone, or whose husbands left them when the treatment started and picked them up later. What a scary thing to do alone. Once a woman had a reaction and had no one with her. So be there. Just be there.

I am very sorry to welcome you to the spouses club. Ask any questions and we will all do our best.


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Dear Mike,

Sorry you have found the need to join us, but I'm glad we are here for you.

Just remember this: LUNG CANCER IS NOT A DEATH SENTENSE! We do and can survive this! I have friends that are LONG TERM SCLC survivors. There is no reason your wonderful wife won't be one also.

We're here for you, and for your wife. The beginning months of this journey are ALWAYS the worst, but we will walk this walk with you and do our very best to give you comfort. NEVER give up HOPE, and NEVER SAY NEVER!

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  • 2 weeks later...
I want to do the right thing. I dont want to say the wrong thing.

I dont want to lose my wife because she thinks it's useless and

too extensive. somebody please talk to me.


Hug her when she needs a hug, feed her when she refuses to eat, snuggle with her when she cries (or cry with her, it's okay for you to be human, too - goodness knows, I can't let anyone cry alone), and the big one - KICK HER IN THE REAR WHEN SHE NEEDS IT! Yep, you read that! DON'T let her "wallow" too long, get her back up on the battlefield after any defeat. YES, you DO have to 'deal with' the defeat, but you ALSO have to let it go and move on...

Your job is to be the instiller of Hope when she feels she has none, her cheerleader when she thinks she is falling behind...and the first person to pat her on the back with all the good news! Your job will be rough, guar-on-teed, but you know you can't refuse it...

Here's hoping your battle is an easier one and a cure is in your future!


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