Guest bean_si (Not Active) Posted June 26, 2004 Posted June 26, 2004 I can't tell you why I'm posting this because I'm not sure. I just had a feeling it might be a good thing to do. This is from a group I posted to years ago. After 2-1/2 years, I happened to go back and found people were still posting in the topic I had started: Suicide. Here is part of what made me start the topic. I'm quoting my post here: The other reason: My daughter harvests valves from the hearts of the deceased for transplant surgery. She tells me that I wouldn't believe how many of them come from suicides. I know how much this upsets her. I was talking to her last night and she said, "Sometimes I hold the heart in my hand and I think to myself that I wish I had known this person. I wish I could have been there to talk to them. I wonder if they would have committed suicide if they could have known that I would be standing here, wishing them back to life." Quote
glo Posted June 26, 2004 Posted June 26, 2004 Cat, I'm not sure what to say here. I'm not sure either why you chose to post this, but from some of your other posts, suicide seems to be flitting in and out of your head. I hope you posted this to assure yourself and us that you KNOW that suicide -- although it eliminates all pain and problems for the one who commits it -- gives a deep and lasting grief and feeling of waste to those who are left to contemplate it. And that you would never want to cause that pain for those who love you. Cat -- we all love you here. Please, if you are feeling suicidal, get some professional counseling. And if you need to talk, please PM me. I care about you. Gloria Quote
Guest bean_si (Not Active) Posted June 26, 2004 Posted June 26, 2004 Gloria, Thank for your concern but don't worry. I have fleeting moments of despair but I try to be a spiritual person and always catch myself. I just seem to need to vent it & this is the only place I can. But yes, I did post this to remind myself and also to remind others that suicide may end your pain but it leaves your loved ones in greater pain. Maybe there's a lurker out there who needs to hear this. Cat Quote
glo Posted June 26, 2004 Posted June 26, 2004 Great Cat! Knew you'd have to stick around to see what happens to Harry Potter! Yes, your message could definitely help others. I know many, many of us reading this board have thought -- if not about suicide -- just about what a relief it would be to have the pain and suffering (whether physical or emotional) over and done with. The end of pain for one, causes increased pain of another sort for those left. Have a good weekend, Cat. Gloria Quote
-Cheryl- Posted June 26, 2004 Posted June 26, 2004 Cat, I agree with Glo, perhaps subconsciously you are contemplating suicide. Please consider counseling and talking to someone about this. I hope that you are not offended. I myself, cannot not deny that I too have some pretty dark days. Sometimes I feel I shouldn't be giving anyone any advice. Cancer takes away your sense of control. Perhaps suicide makes one feel more in control of their life, and when it will end. Fortunately, my religious convictions prevent me from following through with it too. Just hang on Cat, fight this damn disease the best that you can. There may be a cure on the horizon soon. If not, then you have fought a valiant war, and you will be rewarded with eternal life. Yesterday, I screened a man who was desperate for help. He had attempted suicide 5 times, and once ended up on a ventalator. Amazingly, he survived. He was feeling those same thoughts again and told me that his plan this time was to jump in front of oncoming traffic in Dallas. I thought "Here I struggle with life, and you want to end yours." It is hard to see that when one is depressed. I am glad that this man had enough insight into his illness to get the help that he needed. I hope that you to seek support and counseling to help you deal with this disease too. Thinking of you and praying for you, Cheryl Quote
Snowflake Posted June 26, 2004 Posted June 26, 2004 Cat, Something I remember from "Beetlejuice" and some reading after seeing that movie - people who commit suicide are destined to wait on others in the afterlife... NOT FOR ME! Having done a long stint at McDonald's in high school and college, I don't want to spend my eternity in the same way - that is one of the worst hells I can imagine... Something else I wouldn't want to do for eternity is clean toilets.... Stick around, Girl! You NEVER know what the end will bring or when the end will truly be - come, ride in my beer truck! xxoo, Becky Quote
pecola Posted June 26, 2004 Posted June 26, 2004 My Uncle committed suicide in October of 1996 due to chronic pain and depression. I adored him. Besides the terrible loss of him, I think the loss of our good memories of him was the worse thing he took with him for very long time. For a long after your loved one commits suicide, you can not remember anything about them - except that they killed themselves. It makes it so hard for the family to heal. I hope anyone lurking that may be contemplating suicide; please, please, please think about the legacy you will leave behind for your family. It may end your terrible emotional and physical pain, but it will leave your family in pain for a long time to come. I've fought chronic severe depressive episodes most of my adult life, so I understand a tiny bit and I so hope I haven't hurt anyone or seem selfish or indifferent to anyone's very real pain. Gina Quote
Guest bean_si (Not Active) Posted June 26, 2004 Posted June 26, 2004 No, Gina, I don't think you've hurt anyone. I think you've said plainer what I tried to say. Thank you. Cat Quote
Fay A. Posted June 27, 2004 Posted June 27, 2004 No, Gina, dear soul, you haven't hurt me at all. I'm glad that you wrote about what it feels like to be the loving survivor of a ''suicide''.... Because make no mistake, no matter what they did in their lifetime, no matter how talented, kind, successful.....they will always be identified as a "Suicide". And it's a knife in the heart each time for those who loved them. It has been decades since someone I know killed himself. He is always referred to as "R----, who shot himself and was found by his 8 year old son." Not by his Christian and Surname.....not as the carpenter/sculpter who made fine furniture and could hand carve wood in unbelievable detail. Quote
Haylee_38 Posted June 27, 2004 Posted June 27, 2004 Some of you may have heard the story of the 18 year old who comitted suicide from jumping from the library at NYU last Sept. His name was Steven. He was a good friend of both my son and daughter and this still haunts them both. I think it hurts those left behind more than the pain of the person who commits suicide. My daughter still has nightmares about Stevens death. Haylee Quote
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