Fall54 Posted July 11, 2004 Share Posted July 11, 2004 Yes, It's late and by all rights I should be in bed. But here I sick going over the wonderful and fun times my Brother Alan and I had. Today marks a month sice he left us. I am so sad tonight. For the most part I am doing well but I do have my days when it still all seems so unreal. God Promised me that Alan would go to Heaven and I KNOW that is where he is. The trouble with that, is he isnt here with us. I smile his smile, his laugh, his conpanionship and trust. i miss his Love . I know that sounds kind of selfish, but I cant help but feel I wanted more time with him. Thanks all for listening.. I dont know what I would do without all of you. I love you all. God Bless you all, Jane Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shirleyb Posted July 11, 2004 Share Posted July 11, 2004 Jane, I posted under the other section this is in, but my heart goes out to you still. You are in my prayers. Shirleyb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jana_W Posted July 11, 2004 Share Posted July 11, 2004 Jane, I am so sorry sweetie that you are feeling this way. Of course you are missing Alan. It was obviously his time to go, but that does not mean that you were prepared for it. I am certain, without any doubt, that he is in the heaven that you have always believed he will be in. The fact that you miss him so much is always a testament to how much you loved him, and although that will never change, perhaps you will get used to his new home. I wish I had more to help you with, but the truth is I don't. But the other truth is that I love you and care about you very much. Jana xxxxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.C. Posted July 11, 2004 Share Posted July 11, 2004 Jane, we live with dates, this month it will be 9 months Mike is gone, and also the month of our wedding anniversary, the first since he is gone. But I know he is also with God and that They are doing a very good job of looking after me, I never miss thanking Them each night for it and every morning I also ask Them to look after me and keep me sane and as healthy as possible. The good souvenirs, the laughter and the smiles always stay with us. J.C. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
norme Posted July 19, 2004 Share Posted July 19, 2004 I know that number very well. Some nights one just wants to get through it fast. Fall asleep, fall asleep. Oh if we only could during a bad nite.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 Oh Jane....birthdays, anniversarys, holidays....all of these things really seem to do a number on me. It's amazing how so many little things can bring on such a flood of memories. When Dennis died, there was a full moon. It seemed to be the biggest, brightest full moon I had ever seen. Now, everytime I see a full moon I think of Dennis' death and relive so many things said and done during that week. Some say this will all get easier and sad memories will blend with happy ones. So far, I can't vouch for this being true but I am trying to be hopeful!!!! Keeping you in my prayers! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haylee_38 Posted July 27, 2004 Share Posted July 27, 2004 Jane, After just losing my brother on the 14th at about the same age of Alan. I can relate to your pain and those nights you can just not go to sleep. It seems when I do fall asleep I dream about Art all night. I wish so much I could take both of are pains away. My thoughts are with you, Haylee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fall54 Posted July 29, 2004 Author Share Posted July 29, 2004 Hi all, Thank you all for your unending support. I try harder every day to find out who the new me is. I am striving to get a grip on all of this. I am faced with an invite to a bluegrass festival this weekend and I really want to go. Alan was always with us at these as he loved the music as much as we do. He wont be there and I am not sure how I will deal with this if I decide to go. I was talking to my hubby about this at supper tonight and he asked me what I thought Alan would want me to do. I of course said he would want me to go and to enjoy it of course. He said he has probably been to all kinds of bluegrass festivals in Heaven by now. I said I hope he has with all my heart. The problem I think I will find is that my friends will talk a lot about him and I really dont think I can. I really almost feel like asking them not to but dont want to sound rude. Haylee, My heart breaks for you my friend it was such a terrible shock. These are my thoughts written through a heavy heart tonight. God Bless Each and Every One of You, Jane Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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