Dollfan19 Posted August 19, 2004 Share Posted August 19, 2004 Not a whole lot makes a difference anymore....you think about things you used to care about and nothing....or not a whole lot, especially when you have kids. Today is my birthday....wow! happy bithday to me...it used to look forward to this day for the creative gifts I'd receive from Jim...when I awake tomorrow....only to have lunch with his Dad and son and others.... nothing ....where is he? Why won't he show himself to me anymore? G-d I miss him....please just one more dream..... Every day is a new breath of life for us caregivers....I would have given anything for it to have been me.....he is out of pain and I am still full of pain and anguish..... I love you Jim. Abby Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimblanchard Posted August 19, 2004 Share Posted August 19, 2004 Have a great birthday anyway, Abby. My birthday was about three weeks ago and I had very similar feelings. And I basically had a quiet day, but let my parents and Katie take me out for dinner. It will not be spectacular, but at least make it contemplative and centering. I will be thinking of you tomorrow. Or today, I guess. Curtis Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
betplace Posted August 19, 2004 Share Posted August 19, 2004 Happy Birthday Abby! He wouldn't wan't you to not celebrate, he wants you to be happy, so look for the good were you can and celebrate as much as is possible. Blessings Betty Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patut Posted August 19, 2004 Share Posted August 19, 2004 Abby, Happy Birthday to you! The closest I can get right now to how you feel is how after my mom left me I realized I would no longer be receiving my annual birthday flowers from her. But you know, I talk to her everyday, and the more I do the more I feel she is right here with me. She is with me always and it is actually comforting to me. I bet if you try it you'll see what I mean. Love, Cyndy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimd Posted August 19, 2004 Share Posted August 19, 2004 Abby: Your birthday is still important to many people who are still here to love and support you. My mom has many feelings similar to yours about wanting to trade places when my dad passed away, but that's just not what happened. If Jim were here and you were gone, he would feel the same way. We must go on for our loved ones as they would want us to continue living. Every special occasion is going to be very painful and then some days for no reason, BAM -- grief just comes for no apparent reason. Please try to enjoy some special moments with friends and family on your birthday! I'm sure Jim is with you very much in spirit and wishing you a happy birthday as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.C. Posted August 19, 2004 Share Posted August 19, 2004 Happy Birthday, Do not be sad because, he is not deside you he is all around you. J.C. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
renee_ky Posted August 20, 2004 Share Posted August 20, 2004 Abby- I can not even begin to imagine how you feel. I am sorry you are suffering so terribly. I am sorry your pain has consumed you and you can not find any good around you. I hope soon, you will be able to find some peace and comfort in knowing that he is no longer in pain. I know you can not make yourself stop hurting so bad. I hope God will lead you to some comfort and lighten your load. Listen for him, he will be there, but the door has to be open for him to enter. My prayers are with you! Renee[/i] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babesdaughter Posted August 20, 2004 Share Posted August 20, 2004 Well Abby, it's my birthday, too. It sucks, plain and simple. I miss my Mom terribly. I just keep thinking that if I get through THIS birthday the next one will be easier......one day (one hour, one minute) at a time, that's all we can do. I'm feeling a pain similar to yours today.......no band-aid, I guess it just has to hurt until it doesn't hurt anymore. Wishing you peace, The "Other" birthday girl! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann Posted August 20, 2004 Share Posted August 20, 2004 Abby, I hope you managed to have a nice birthday. I'm so sorry this post is late! I know just how you feel. It seems as if our spouses are the ones that really make special days "special." Sure, children acknowledge our birthdays and do their best to make them special but it's definitely not the same as having a loving spouse to share special days with. I'm just to the point that I'd just rather not acknowledge my birthday and I really dread seeing holidays roll around. Neither of my sons has children yet but I am hoping that maybe when they do holidays will be better. I hear that there is absolutely nothing like grandchildren to light up our hearts! I so wish there was something more I could say to you...something that would soothe your heart and make everything better! If you hear of any such magic...please pass some my way!!! In the meantime, I'm sending ((((((((((((((((Abby))))))))))))))))))))) your way!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dollfan19 Posted August 20, 2004 Author Share Posted August 20, 2004 Thank you all for your warmth and guiding words. The day ended up being okay after all even though Jim was missed terribly. I spent some of the day with his family along with my daughter who left today for college. After the afternoon event was over, my daughter and I went to play bingo and I won twice. We had fun and it is always great fun to hang with your child when they are in the process of becoming an adult. I can't even imagine what the holidays are going to be like, we still have several months to continue healing. Again, thank you all for being there... Abby Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.