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How dreadful for you--you're doing all the caregiving and the family members are not being respectful of your husband or you. I feel the extremet frustration from what you wrote. It's always hard to set boundaries and your husband not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings can make ilyt really difficult. You wrote that "common sense" would have had you saying you'd pass on a visit. Seems like these people are lacking in common sense. I don't know how direct you've been with them, but I wonder if you could be more direct. For example, when they said they were coming in half an hour, could you have said something like " 3:00 this afternoon would be a good time. Right now I have to get (husband's name) some food and he needs a nap." If they insist on coming right away, "Sorry that won't work for us right now." And don't answer the door, if they're rude enough to com anyway. CAn you directly ask them to bring food, run an errand, help with a chore?
But know that it's your life and your husband's and you have a right to set whatever boundaries you need to. Is there anyone he trusts who could talk to him about it being OK to set boundaries to protect you and him, even if it hurts some feelings?
You're in a tough situation and I wish you all the best!
I don't have a clue. I burned up Google looking for skin blisters for your chemo drugs but didn't find anything.
I'd certainly let your medical oncologist know. A fast route to the oncologist might be through your chemo nurse.
Stay the course.
Oh my, I am sorry to learn of your mom's diagnosis. Bottom line up front: I was diagnosed stage III, had pre-surgical chemo and radiation, then surgery, then complications, then more chemo and radiation but all that ended in 2007. Then, I've achieved a state of "no evidence of disease" or NED; the state all lung cancer survivors hope to attain. So, if I can live, so can your mother. I was diagnosed February 4, 2004 and since that time very sophisticated and effective treatments have been introduced. So, there is hope.
What can you do? Become a subject matter expert on lung cancer. There will be questions to ask as tests and treatments take place. Educated questions prompt alternative treatment ideas. My wife's TPQ "terribly perceptive question" likely saved my life. Here is where you might start your reading. Send this link to your other family members and encourage them to learn about lung cancer. While you are at it, you might pass this along to your dad as he prepares to accompany your mother to treatments.
What can you expect to change in your lives? I wouldn't begin to know how to answer that. Certainly, you shouldn't have an expectation that your mother's life is going to be different. I lost a lung and have residual side effects from my many treatments but my life since February 2007 has been wonderful and fulfilling. If you are temped to peek at lung cancer survival statistics, read this instead and do listen to the Stephen Jay Gould essay cited in the link.
Encourage you dad and perhaps your mom to join us. Questions? This is the place!
Stay the course.