Ann

Effective July 1st (today) Floridians will have to pay an additional $1.00 tax on each pack of cigarettes, bringing the total State tax per pack to $1.34. This is in addition to the federal tax, already on each pack. Average carton prices in Florida will now be about $45. I know that there are many cancer patients that don't/have never smoked but I must say I think this is a great step in discouraging smoking and hopefully reducing cancer and heart disease in our State.

Judy....according to Snopes, all is true.

Judy...so sorry you're having a rough day today. Hope the antibiotics can kick in and make you feel better. I can only imagine how difficult it must be to drive your temporary house into tight spaces. It's a nice, sunny morning here on Florida's Space Coast. The temperature is only in the low 90's and we're supposed to have rain again this afternoon. Our grass is growing so fast that it seems we only get the mower parked in time to crank it up again. But, I'd rather be mowing than fanning flames, so the rain is alright with me. I'm having a "down" day today. I just can't seem to be able to stop thinking of our sweet Tracy and her family. I sat outside on my patio last night with three lit candles.....one for Tracy...one for my Dennis and one for all of the friends we've lost from this MB. Hope everyone is having a good day in their little corner of the world.

(((((Carleen))))) So good reading your beautiful words of love once again!!!

Hoping today is a much better day for you, Randy. I certainly do know just what you mean about those "curve balls" catching you off guard. When I was in the ER with my son on Thursday night he remembered, out of the blue, that he was in the same room his Dad had been in one night. There I was, worried about my son and then all those memories came flying back to me. It's hard to explain but it's almost like something from a sci-fi movie where everything just comes speeding towards you. Hope the thumb is feeling better. It's been a rough week for thumbs....my son broke his.

Kasey, I am so very sorry. A candle will be lit for Tracy here in Florida tonight.

Wow....Just you must be doing something....everything....right!!! I highly doubt that anyone I knew 40 years ago would recognize me! Heck, there are times I look in the mirror and can't even seem to recognize myself! So, if you have any secrets hidden up your sleeve, you best start talking!!! Well, this has been an interesting few days for me. My middle adult son lives with me due to learning disabilities and health concerns. Well, he had an accident on Thursday and broke his hand in two places....where the thumb and the forefinger meet the hand. I was at the Er with him until almost midnight on Thursday and then at the orthopedic surgeons office all afternoon on Friday. The doctor said he needed to have surgery on Monday (yesterday) but lots of tests had to be done because of his heart condition. If you remember, I had the Orlando convention this weekend and was really torn as what to do about going. My youngest son and DIL were going to be staying at my house anyway and they encouraged me to go to Orlando and assured me things would be fine. I went, had a good but tiring weekend and then yesterday, we were at the hospital all day. Matt seems to be doing great. He's in a cast for a few weeks and has three pins in his right thumb. It's amazing that he's not on much pain...thank goodness. So...I'm back at work today and it feels like I'm getting rested up for the first time in days!!! I never thought working would feel like rest...LOL

This is soooooo funny!!! Click link. Volume up. http://www.last.fm/music/Jeanne+Roberts ... ?autostart

Subject: SHERIFF JOE IS AT IT AGAIN! You all remember Sheriff Joe Arpaio of Arizona , who painted the jail cells pink and made the inmates wear pink prison garb.. Well......... SHERIFF JOE IS AT IT AGAIN! Oh, there's MUCH more to know about Sheriff Joe! Maricopa County was spending approx. $18 million dollars a year on stray animals, like cats and dogs. Sheriff Joe offered to take the department over, and the County Supervisors said okay. The animal shelters are now all staffed and operated by prisoners. They feed and care for the strays. Every animal in his care is taken out and walked twice daily. He now has prisoners who are experts in animal nutrition and behavior. They give great classes for anyone who'd like to adopt an animal. He has literally taken stray dogs off the street, given them to the care of prisoners, and had them place in dog shows. The best part? His budget for the entire department is now under $3 million. Teresa and I adopted a Weimaraner from a Maricopa County shelter two years ago. He was neutered, and current on all shots, in great health, and even had a microchip inserted the day we got him. Cost us $78. The prisoners get the benefit of about $0.28 an hour for working, but most would work for free, just to be out of their cells for the day. Most of his budget is for utilities, building maintenance, etc. He pays the prisoners out of the fees collected for adopted animals. I have long wondered when the rest of the country would take a look at the way he runs the jail system, and copy some of his ideas. He has a huge farm, donated to the county years ago, where inmates can work, and they grow most of their own fresh vegetables and food, doing all the work and harvesting by hand. He has a pretty good sized hog farm, which provides meat, and fertilizer. It fertilizes the Christmas tree nursery, where prisoners work, and you can buy a living Christmas tree for $6 - $8 for the Holidays, and plant it later. We have six trees in our yard from the Prison. Yup, he was reelected last year with 83% of the vote. Now he's in trouble with the ACLU again. He painted all his buses and vehicles with a mural, that has a special hotline phone number painted on it, where you can call and report suspected illegal aliens. Immigrations and Customs Enforcement wasn't doing enough in his eyes, so he had 40 deputies trained specifically for enforcing immigration laws, started up his hotline, and bought 4 new buses just for hauling folks back to the border. He's kind of a 'Git-R Dun' kind of Sheriff. TO THOSE OF YOU NOT FAMILIAR WITH JOE ARPAIO HE IS THE MARICOPA ARIZONA COUNTY SHERIFF AND HE KEEPS GETTING ELECTED OVER AND OVER THIS IS ONE OF THE REASONS WHY: Sheriff Joe Arpaio (In Arizona ) who created the ' Tent City Jail': He has jail meals down to 40 cents a serving and charges the inmates for them. He stopped smoking and xxxo magazines in the jails. Took away their weights Cut off all but 'G' movies. He started chain gangs so the inmates could do free work on county and city projects. Then He Started Chain Gangs For Women So He Wouldn't Get Sued For Discrimination He took away cable TV Until he found out there was A Federal Court Order that Required Cable TV For Jails So He Hooked Up The Cable TV Again Only Let In The Disney Channel And The Weather Channel. When asked why the weather channel He Replied, So They Will Know How Hot It's Gonna Be While They Are Working ON My Chain Gangs. He Cut Off Coffee Since It Has Zero Nutritional Value. When the inmates complained, he told them, 'This Isn't The Ritz/Carlton......If You Don't Like It, Don't Come Back.' More On The Arizona Sheriff: With Temperatures Being Even Hotter Than Usual In Phoenix (116 Degrees Just Set A New Record), the Associated Press Reports: About 2,000 Inmates Living In A Barbed-Wire-Surrounded Tent Encampment At The Maricopa County Jail Have Been Given Permission To Strip Down To Their Government-Issued Pink Boxer Shorts On Wednesday, hundreds of men wearing boxers were either curled up on their bunk beds or chatted in the tents, which reached 138 Degrees Inside The Week Before. Many Were Also Swathed In Wet, Pink Towels As Sweat Collected On Their Chests And Dripped Down To Their PINK SOCKS. 'It Feels Like We Are In A Furnace,' Said James Zanzot, An Inmate Who Has Lived In The TENTS for 1 year. 'It's Inhumane.' Joe Arpaio, the tough-guy sheriff who created the tent city and long ago started making his prisoners wear pink, and eat bologna sandwiches, is not one bit sympathetic. He said Wednesday that he told all of the inmates: 'It's 120 Degrees In Iraq And Our Soldiers Are Living In Tents Too, And They Have To Wear Full Battle Gear, But They Didn't Commit Any Crimes,So Shut Your Mouths!' Way To Go, Sheriff! Maybe if all prisons were like this one there would be a lot less crime and/or repeat offenders. Criminals should be punished for their crimes - not live in luxury until it's time for their parole, only to go out and commit another crime so they can get back in to live on taxpayers money and enjoy things taxpayers can't afford to have for themselves.

THE OLDER CROWD: Two old guys are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart when they collide. The first old guy says to the second guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going." The second old guy says, "That's OK, it's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate." The first old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you find her. What does she look like?" The second old guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, and is wearing short shorts. What does your wife look like?" To which the first old guy says, "Doesn't matter, --- let's look for yours."

One hot summer day, Georgia Jimmy the redneck came to town with his dog. He tied the dog under the shade of a tree, and headed into a bar for a cold one. Twenty minutes later, a policeman enteredthe bar and asked, 'Who owns the dog tied under that tree outside?' The Jimmy said it was his. Your dog seems to be in heat. 'the officer said. Jimmy replied, 'No way. She's cool 'cause she's tied up under that shade tree.' The policeman said, 'No, you don't understand. Your dog needs to be bred.' 'No way,' said Jimmy. 'That dog don't need bread. She ain't hungry cause I fed her this morning.'The exasperated policeman said, 'NO!You don't understand. You dog wants to have sex!' (You gotta love this) Jimmy looked at the cop and said, 'Well go ahead. I always wanted a police dog.'

A mother and her very young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago . The little boy (who had been looking out the window) turned to his Mother and asked, 'If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?' The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask the Flight Attendant. So the boy went down the aisle and asked the Flight Attendant. The busy Flight Attendant smiled, and said, 'Did your mother tell you to ask me?' The boy said, Yes, she did.' 'Well, then,you go and tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. Have your mother explain that to you.

A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach. After watching the boy's efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy's position. He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child's shoulder leans over and gives the doorbell a solid ring. Crouching down to the child's level, the priest smiles benevolently and asks, "And now what, my little man?" To which the boy replies, "Now we run!"

Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair, and loved to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors. Because the poor woman was one sandwich short of a picnic the other residents tolerated her and some of them actually joined in.One day Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and Kooky Clarence stepped out with his arm outstretched. "STOP!," he shouted in a firm voice. "Have you got a license for that thing?" Ethel fished around in her handbag and pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper and held it up to him. "OK" he said, and away Ethel sped down the hall. As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, weird Harold popped out in front of her and shouted "STOP! Have you got proof of insurance?" Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a drink coaster and held it up to him. Harold nodded and said "On your way, Ma'am." As Ethel neared the final corridor, Crazy Craig stepped out in front of her, Butt- Naked, and holding his "You-Know-What" in his hand. "Oh, good grief," yelled Ethel, "Not that stupid Breathalyzer Test again.!!!"

A social worker from Massachusetts had transferred to the mountains of North Carolina and Georgia and was on the first tour of her new territory. She came upon the tiniest cabin she had ever seen in her life. Intrigued, she went up and knocked on the door. "Anybody home?" she asked. "Yep," came a kid's voice through the door. "Is your father there?" asked the social worker. "Pa? Nope, he left afore ma came in," said the kid. "Well, is your mother there?" persisted the social worker. "Ma? Nope, she left just afore I got here," said the kid. "But," protested the social worker, "are you never together as a family?" "Sure, but not here," said the kid through the door. "This is the outhouse!" (Government workers are so smart)

I really could use a breath of fresh air this morning. Where are you, Judy???

My youngest son went through a stage (thank goodness it was brief) that he wanted shirts and jeans from Tommy Hilfilger. He would get so embarassed when I would completely butcher that name. I'm sure there are many more that I have trouble with but that's the first one that comes to mind.

All of us have words that we have trouble pronouncing. You know the ones I'm talking about...the ones that seem to roll around on your tongue but just never seem to come out sounding right. So...today's question is.... Name one word that you have trouble pronouncing.

Definitely a landscaper. When my boys were young and at home, I probably would have chosen a housekeeper but now, it seems the main thing that needs to be done often is picking up Tanner hair. I would love to keep a beautifully maintained lawn with tons of blooming flowers and lots of hedges...all evenly trimmed. With the Florida temperatures, it's just too hot to do much outside other than mow the lawn.

How to say 'I love you' in 25 languages... English I Love You Spanish Te Amo French Je T'aime German lch Liebe Dich Japanese Ai Shite Imasu Thai Phom rak khun Italian Ti amo Chinese Wo Ai Ni Swedish Jag Alskar Alabama, Arkansas, Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas, North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia, Tennessee, Missouri, Mississippi, Louisiana, Virginia, West Virginia, Kentucky, parts of Florida Nice *ss , Get in the truck.

OH...I have to add An Officer and A Gentleman I still love the part when Richard Gere carried Debra Winger out of that factory!!!

Not smoking a thing here, Judy. I just have a crazy friend that keeps my mailbox filled with these things that I have to share with my buddies!!! Aren't you glad I'm keeping you happy while the RV is being repaired???

MY PRIVATE PART DIED An old man, Mr. Wallace, was living in a nursing home. One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed. Nurse Tracy asked him if there was anything wrong, 'Yes, Nurse Tracy ,' said Mr. Wallace. 'My Private Part died today, and I am very sad.' Knowing her patients were a little forgetful and sometimes a little crazy, she replied, 'Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Wallace. Please accept my condolences.' The following day, Mr. Wallace was walking down the hall with his Private Part hanging out of his pajamas. He met Nurse Tracy. 'Mr. Wallace,' she said, 'You shouldn't be walking down the hall like that. Please put your Private Part back inside your pajamas.' 'But, Nurse Tracy I can't,' replied Mr. Wallace. 'I told you yesterday that my Private Part died. 'Yes,' said Nurse Tracy, 'you did tell me that, but why is it hanging out of your pajamas?' (You've gotta love this .) 'Well,' he replied, 'Today is the viewing.'

Lock Your Doors Be sure you lock your doors and windows at home! A Pennsylvania man was found dead in his home over the weekend. Detectives at the scene found the man face down in his bathtub. The tub had been filled with milk, sugar, and cornflakes. A banana was sticking out of his butt. Police suspect a cereal killer.

FINALLY...THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES (Without Gender Bias) A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde. The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. 'What does it look like?' she finally asked. The policewoman replied, 'It's square and it has your picture on it.' The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. 'Here it is,' she said. The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, OK, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop.'