Andrea B.

I am so very sorry for your loss! I will send prayers your way during this difficult time. May you find peace in all the beautiful memories you hold.

Don, I am so very happy for you and Lucie!!! This is terrific news. Celebrate and enjoy this time. God is listening to our prayers. Hugs to you and Lucie.

Sending my prayers too.

Hi All, I haven't posted in a while. I have felt like denial is serving me well lately. I feel like I want to bury my head in the sand and pretend everything is okay. We have gotten good news lately, but can't help but feeling like I am just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Normally, I am pretty positive and strong...but don't feel like that lately. I am very thankful for the good news we have received...the cancer in my mom's lymph nodes has continued to shrink. The cancer in her lung is contained in a "cavity"...the doctor says the cavity itself has not shrunk since the last CT scan, but he said it doesn't mean the cancer itself isn't shrinking. Has anyone heard of this? He said it is good news, because it hasn't grown and there is no cancer present elsewhere, yeah!!!!! She has developed a cough, but her doctor said this could also be from fluid building up in the cavity where the cancer had been present. Also, my dad's CT scan from the liver cancer came back clean. There is no additional cancer present (after the surgery) and it appears the blood supply has been completely cut off to the original tumor. Overall, the news is terrific. I think I am emotionally tired from the roller coaster ride I call cancer and from the waiting on test results. I keep everyone in my prayers. I wish I had a magical pill to wipe away everyone's suffering. You are all such wonderful people.

Becky, That is such a cute photo, so loving...what a precious baby. I will be praying that your husband gets the best birthday wish/present ever...a clean scan.

Shelly, That is GREAT news!!!! I have been thinking about you and your mom a lot and praying for great news. I am so very happy for you!!!!! Enjoy and take some time for you too. All my best.

Hi Carleen, I am so sorry you have to go through this stress! I know the stress of this damn disease makes me feel like I am losing my mind. Somedays I want to disappear and pretend it doesn't exist. It would be great for you to find a friend or confidante that you could cry and talk to and not have to put on a strong face for. I cry to my husband on the tough days and it helps me a lot. The effects of going through this are heartbreaking. My mom begun radiation and then a few weeks later started chemo and had them both in conjunction for about 4 weeks. Now she is only doing chemo. The main effect of doing both for her was that it dropped her white blood cell counts too low to receive chemo. Overall though, she handled both of them together pretty well. Her throat was very sore from a burnt esophagus. I pray that the radiation will bring Keith some relief and that the cancer is also being killed. I wish I could also say the magic words and make it all better for you. Not having control is so difficult. Please know that you are not alone. You are in my thoughts.

Alyse, I am so sorry to hear about your husband's cancer spreading. My mom's cancer spread to lymph nodes in her chest area. I had read other people having surgery and didn't understand why my mom couldn't have it either. We got a second opinion and he explained it clearly to me. Mostly (a few other reasons too) it was because the surgery would postpone her being able to have chemo and radiation. She has completed radiation and it has been very successful. She is halfway through chemo and it is working too. I would seek a second opinion if you are not happy with his doctor's opinion. Also, don't rule out the success of radiation, check into this as well. All my best to you.

Deb, I will be praying for continued improvement for your dad. I also am wishing him a very happy birthday!!! It sounds like you have already given him the best gift...your love. I send you a big hug and enjoy celebrating his birthday!!!

Thanks for the update on Lucie, Don! I am glad she seems to be feeling better and that you got a much deserved massage. Easier said then done, but try not to spend time on the "what ifs". Enjoy this time. I wish you both the best!

Shannon, I am continued to be admired by your strength and courage. You are a wonderful inspiration to others. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Mike is definitely watching over you. All my best. Andrea

I am sending you all my best on your 44th Anniversary...HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!! Enjoy your special day!!!

Ada, you have an amazing attitude and strength, I admire you. I will be praying for successful results for you.

Oh Shannon, I have tears running down my face...I am so very sorry for your loss. Over the past months, I feel privileged to have gotten to know you and Mike through your stories and you both are such inspirations to me. May you find peace in your memories and know that Mike will forever be watching over you. I can't begin to tell you how much I admire your courage. You will be in my prayers.

Shelly, I am so very sorry for what you are going through. I don't think you should feel bad at all about showing your mom your feelings. You love her tremendously and that is evident. I know it is easier said than done, but don't feel bad about what happened in the past...that is exactly what it is...the past. Hold on to today and make the most of it. I know how you feel about your mom being your best friend and you would take her place by going first. I have had these same thoughts. I have days where getting out of bed and greeting the world is tough. I hate every aspect of this disease, but I especially hate how it has turned my life upside down. I haven't posted much myself lately, because I feel I am turning to denial to get through some days. Please know that you aren't alone. You can always send me a PM. I keep you and your mom in my prayers. Thinking of you and sending a hug.

Jay, nice to hear from you and that is a great picture! Once again I am so sorry for the loss of your mom and for all that you have been through. My heart goes out to you. As far as chemo, I am sure you will handle things well with the immense strength you have shown already. I wish you all the best and will keep you in my prayers.

Great news, Brandy! I wish you the best.

Deb, I am so very sorry to hear about your dad. I will be praying for him, you and your family. You all seem to have an amazing strength and attitude. I am sorry you have to go through all this. I wish there was something more I could say to make you feel better. Please lean on everyone here when needed. I will be thinking of you. Take care of yourself.

Shannon, please don't quit posting updates! I enjoy reading them and they always provide me with hope and inspiration. I think people sometimes say things out of ignorance or they may have the best of intentions and don't know how/what to say. I have "close" friends who have made comments that make my jaw drop. However, if I had people who only knew me through cyberspace making those comments I would cease to communicate with them. You and Mike are amazing people and you know what is best. Please do keep us updated. As always you are in my prayers.

What fabulous news!!!! I am so happy. Enjoy your trip!!!

Jay, we have not met before but I have read a lot of what has happened to you. My heart goes out to you for the loss of your mother. I know she will be watching out for you. I will be keeping you in my prayers.

Shellie, I am actually not sure how I get through this. It is weird, because after the diagnosis I have discovered strength I never knew I possessed. When I say that my mom is my best friend, that is no exaggeration. My husband always jokes with me, because I have always, and still do, talked to her about 5 times a day, we leave 15 minutes away, and I see her at least 4 to 5 times a week. She was there in the delivery room when my daughter was born and we would go on outings all the time. In March when she was diagnosed, when I say my world stopped spinning, it literally did. I am/was so angry. My mom should be enjoying her granddaughter and instead she has to battle for her life. I am so resentful when I see grandmas out with their grandchildren and my mom is not able to do that right now. I am so thankful for my daughter, because she is one of the main reasons I keep going everyday. But at the same time my mom is a big influence of where I get my strength. She would never want me to be moping around. I could go on and on. But some days I want to bury my head in the sand and pretend all is okay. I hate this damn disease!!!!!

Shellie, I know exactly what you are talking about, my mom told me yesterday that she has a pain in her breast and thinks now she can feel a lump. But my mom is not a very "in your face" kind of person with the doctor. That is the role I have to take for her. By the time I left her house, I had already asked/told her 10 times that she MUST bring this up with her doctor and that I will be calling him too. I got the..."yes, andrea". My mom is the type of person to minimize any symptoms she has and I have such a difficult time getting her to speak up and tell me things. I know she doesn't want to worry me. I feel out of control, because I don't know exactly what she is feeling and I can't fix it if I don't know. I have conversations with my mom to tell her how I need to know things, so that we can get them taken care of. I literally had to bug her each day to get her to see a doctor for a second opinion. At the same time, I have to respect my mom and her space. I am sure she doesn't need me in her face each day continuously reminding her she has cancer. She has told me that she enjoys her alone time to rest, read, knit, etc. I always tell her that I am there for her (and she knows it) and will do ANYTHING in my power to help her beat this monster, but I need her to proactive too...and that she is. She just isn't quite as aggressive as me. Everyone has off days and that doesn't mean anything is wrong. My mom will tell me she is having an off day or is tired and I take it for what it means. I wish I had the power to take away all my mom's pains and ease all her fears. But I focus on the things I truly can provide her a warm hug, an ear to listen, a source of unconditional love, a safe harbor for her to come to and an outlet from her cancer. You seem like an amazing daughter and I am sure your mom knows how very much you love her. Talk to her openly about your fears and encourage her to talk to you about yours. I am sure as a parental figure she doesn't want to worry you too. I wish you all the best.

Dave, what great news!!!!!! I am very happy for you. Enjoy that golf!

I have tears in my eyes as I read about your sister's amazing attitude and spirit. We can learn alot from people like her. God bless you both and I will be praying you do get more time with her.