Remembering Dave

Dean - yep, you're right. I seriously doubt it gets any better than that. you know, some people pay alot of money to go on vacation just to experience something like that, and you have it right out your back door! I am so glad you are doing a little better. Thank you for appreciating the little things, it helps me to continue appreciating them as well. God Bless, Karen C.

Jane - I've been thinking about you, Alan and your family, so was very glad to read your post. Part of this is heartbreaking and makes me want to cry, but part of it is joyful and happiness, because it sounds like Alan has made peace with his diagnoses, his situation, himself as a whole person. No matter what happens to him, I think he has found some very important inner strength and I would bet money he's found some really strong Faith as well. I think your family did the right thing, by asking him to call his doctor to get the truth. He needed to know it, and having someone objective that he respects like his doctor tell him was the perfect approach. Alan must be quite a man, because it takes alot of courage to apologize and thank family for trying to protect him. It's so wonderful your family has this time together right now, even if the reason is not a happy one. You will cherish this time for the rest of your life. God Bless and prayers for you, Karen c.

Ginny - so sorry everything is so stressful for you right now. I really adore you and The Duke. And I hope your sister will be OK. Don't think of yourself as selfish - you are there for everyone, all the time - including us on this board! I feel selfish because I am enjoying how well Dave is doing - when others are struggling so much. That's selfish. Anyway, we do adore and admire the both of you very much and are thinking of you. God Bless, Karen C.

I just wanted to let everyone know that yes, he did seem to be enjoying himself a little too much. At the same time, he's stomping around the yard in his heels, dress and hose, yelling at me to hurry up after him with the camera before we lost the light (it was right at dusk), like some big lurch or something, then he'd get in Super Campy mode to pose, and it just made me laugh so hard. The good news is, he hasn't touched the bra or hose since the photo shoot, so my fears of him liking it a bit too much aren't being realized. Faith was mostly confused, but I think she's over it by now. I wish everyone of you could have been there to see it, because words just can't describe the experience! Karen C.

This is Karen. I just want everyone that requested it to know that yes, Dave wore pantyhose, and heels. and yes, the 5:00 shadow was a nice touch, along with the general grubbiness he was wearing that day. I won't go into detail. Let's just say that all of you who are expressing feelings of fear or nausea have a right to . . . . . ! But the scariest thing of all was, after we went back into the house and he got out of drag and downloaded the photos on the computer, Faith would point at the photos on the screen and say Daddy! Daddy! Now I'm afraid everytime she sees an extremely large woman with lots of blond hair she's going to point and call the woman Daddy. (which makes me think, doesn't Dave look like the "original" Linda Tripp? In case anyone doesn't know this, Linda Tripp battled breast cancer after the Monica thing, lost her hair, and grew it back into its' natural brown curliness, she kept her weight off and remarried. She looks like a completely different person. I saw an article about her in People Magazine in some doctor's office). Alright, I gotta get to work Karen C.

Larry - your wife has a wonderful attitude. I do think she can beat this thing. SCLC responds very well to chemo and radiation, and a very strong positive attitude and a firm belief and faith in God are very powerful tools. Keep us posted, and God Bless, Karen C. (David C's wife)

Addie, I'll briefly tell you about Dave's diagnoses (this is Karen, his wife). We went to China in October 2002 and adopted our daughter. He had bad respiratory problems after returning (long dormant asthma returned, bronchitis, respiratory infections). China was very polluted and all three of us had respiratory infections upon returning. But Dave's never got better and he started having leg cramps as well. On March 22, 2003 (10th wedding anniversary weekend) I took him to the ER b/c he couldn't breathe well, was weak, and the muscle spasms were BAD. That was a Saturday. That night the ER doc said he thought it was LC. He had a biopsy on Wednesday and on Thursday they started him on chemo. He had one tumor in his left lung and one on his lymph nodes between his lungs. they didn't want to waste any time. He was in the hospital for a week, getting biopsy and porta-cath installed, but also b/c the leg cramps were caused by a severe drop in the sodium levels in his blood which was caused by the lung tumor. Anyway - long story short - DON'T WASTE ANY TIME STARTING TREATMENT! This is a fast growing cancer and you want to nip it in the bud! Your tumor sounds really weird and different but somehow I'm not surprised that it's SCLC. It's just a different type of animal. It sounds, as I read down your posts, that your internist has gotten the ball rolling. I have to tell you, the docs in the hospital didn't miss a beat. The ER doc got a kidney specialist in that night to see Dave for the sodium level thing, he in turn got a pulmonary doc to see Dave on Monday, who in turn got the thoracic surgeon who did the biopsy and port cath to see him on Tuesday, the oncologist saw him on Wed and the radiologist on Friday. They didn't waste a minute of time, and I am grateful to all of them. I was at the hospital with him practically 24/7 that entire week so wasn't able to do much research while all of this was happening, but I called our family doc who gave us good input and who sent a doc friend of hers doing rounds at that hospital in to check on things, and also Dave's sister Becky is a fund raiser for children's cancer out in CA (she's also on the board of directors of this website) so she gave us some good info over the phone and mostly we just went with our gut feelings on things and what we found out over the phone about the reputations of the doctors that were being sent in to see Dave. We lucked out, b/c they were all super-duper. Sorry to ramble, but I just want you to be as aggressive as you can be with your treatment, but I also want you to know that as long as you do you will be OK. Dave is in remission. There is plenty of hope here. SCLC responds very well to chemo and radiation. (p.s. Dave was a 20 year smoker. his oncologist said that his smoking most certainly caused the cancer and if he continued to smoke nothing he did for Dave would be of much good at all. Dave hadn't had a cig in a week or two before that b/c he was feeling so bad and he hasn't touched one since and never will. Yes, I know he beats himself up over that, but that's not the important thing now. The important thing is to fight the cancer and keep a positive, I will live, type of attitude. So just don't smoke, and forget about it - that's in the past!!! Hang in there!). We love you here! Keep us posted, and God Bless you, Karen C.

Dave had chemo and radiation at the same time. We were told that SCLC responds very well to chemo and radiation. After Dave finished chemo (last longer than the radiation) he had his first CT scan after diagnoses and the tumors were gone! He had very little trouble with the chest radiation. I say go for it. It's not bad, from what we could see. and it just might make that monster go away. God Bless, Karen C. (David C's wife)

Debbie - that is wonderful. My condolences on losing your young husband. It looks like it happened so fast. It sounds like you are doing OK. I can sorta help answer the question on blood donations. I went to donate here at work and after spending 20 minutes on the book-long questionnaire I completed, the plebonitist (is that what they're called?) took one look at the box I checked saying I'd had melanoma and not so politely escorted me to the door (OK, it wasn't that bad, but I did feel a little like a pariah!). I did ask, and certain cancer survivors, including lung cancer patients, can start donating five years out from remission. but other cancers, like melanoma, disqualify you for life. That was such a shock to me, I did have a Stage II melanoma, but it was just in my skin layers, and it was no big deal! but I guess it's more like one of those "blood disease" cancers or something. Anyway, don't know what the deal is on cancer patients, but maybe certain organs like eyes are ok because the veins are too small for cancer cells to travel through? Karen C. (Dave C's wife)

Fay - you have every right to be self centered whenever you feel the need. especially if you're going through a rough patch. I'll keep you in my prayers. Katie - I think you're right. It was a good suggestion, though, because it made some of us think a little. Love this board - it is fair and balanced! Karen C.

RAY - LOVE THE PICTURE! YOU LOOK AWESOME! BEAUTIFUL SMILE!! YOU'VE SLIMMED DOWN A LITTLE, HAVEN'T YOU? You look so healthy and handsome! And your wife is so pretty! You are a lucky man! God Bless you, Karen C.

Thanks, everyone! We still need to get Dave totally dressed up as promised. I'm serious when I say this, but we are just so busy it's hard to find time for something like that, I guess. Dave is working full time and going full throttle. He planted a big huge vegetable garden, without my help at all, he goes out on his little john boat, he mows our four acre yard and field (we have four more acres that is wooded or wetland along with river we live on) - he's just so active it's incredible. I think we were SO worried about this scan because he's been having lots of aches and pains lately, but you know, the aches and pains are from using long dormat muscles! Anyway, I just hope Dave can be an inspiration to those who are just beginning the fight. Please keep a positive attitude and focus on beating the disease. For those of you who are struggling, please know we pray for your every day. I'm sorry we're not as active on this board as we used to be, but we're just so busy we barely have time for the computer any more! Right now I'm stealing a few minutes at work . . . Ray - GREAT PHOTO! You look wonderful, my man! Beautiful smile, too! now I am ready to adopt another daughter from China. Faith needs a sister. I brought that up to the oncologist on Monday but he's not willing to sign Dave off yet for something like that. But I feel certain he's beaten the monster. But unless our doctors fight for us, we can't pass the medical part of a homestudy. The INS and State of Virginia are particularly strict about that. They don't want you bringing a child into this country and then dying and leaving her as a ward of the state or whatever. Geez. But we'll see. this is going to require ALOT more prayer, but I think we'll be able to do it! Just one more challenge, no sweat! God Bless everyone, Karen C.

Jane, this is heartbreaking, I know this is very difficult. I've been following your posts and see how much you truly love your brother. I know this will be hard for your Mom. I have an Aunt and Uncle who have lost two of their six children. And both of them were my Aunt's special kids, the ones she felt closest to. And the male cousin was, literally, his Dad's best friend. My cousin Cindy died at age 38 of breast cancer. Her brother, Mark, died at 43 of suicide 18 months later. Probably not directly related to his sister's death, but he'd been suffering by manic depression, untreated (long story) for years. I was very close to these two, Mark and I were the same age, and it was devastating to everyone. But my Aunt and Uncle's deep faith got them through it all, and now they look forward to the day they will see both of them in heaven. I don't know what else to say, except having gone through this myself, I know how difficult it is to lose someone you love like a dear brother, right in the prime of their life. And yes, keep praying, God does answer prayers, but only the ones He can hear! He may have a miracle in store for Alan. If he doesn't, take comfort in knowing that Alan is with God and happy. God Bless you and your whole family, Karen C.

HI, Joni, Karen here. I just replied to your email then saw this post. Yes, Dave is still in remission (see our recent post under Good News). His first CT scan after his lung radiation and chemo were done, back in July last year, showed no evidence of disease and every scan since then - which he gets every three months - alternating CT scans and PET scans - not one has showed a return of the cancer. There's always something in his left lung where the "original" tumor was, but it is shrinking so they think it is scar tissue that is healing and going away. I even feel lucky and grateful for that, because so often people will get scar tissue from the radiation and it never goes away and they have problems with pneumonia and stuff. Anyway, check out my email and ask me anything you want. Yes, our husbands situation does sound very much the same, so anything we can do to help, I almost feel like an obligation to do. We got through this, now it is our job, our mission, to help you get through it. God Bless, Karen C.

Hi all, this is Karen. Dave had his PET Scan on Monday (his every three month checkup scan) and we saw the radiologist this morning for his six month checkup. An almost perfectly clean scan! He said there was some activity in the left lung where the initial tumor had been, but it was smaller and less active than previous scans, so he's pretty sure it is scar tissue that is continuing to heal and go away! God is so good to us and is answering our prayers. Karen C.

Ray, I think that's great. It was a sign from God, and yes, He is telling you that He'll always be there for you. No matter what, you are going to be just fine, my friend. When my cousin Cindy died of breast cancer four years ago, we were driving back from the whole long funeral weekend out of state, and I was exhausted (Dave was driving). I looked up and saw Cindy's face in the sky. At this point we were in West Virginia crossing some tall mountains, not far from her parent's (my aunt and uncle) home. I think she was telling me that she was OK. It really helped me deal with losing her. God Bless Karen C.

Ok, Dean, I hope it's OK, but I laughed out loud when I read your post! Goodness! The funny thing about people like that, they are usually pretty shallow in every area including their lack of faith. That is pretty sad. I hope you're surviving OK. I have to say that I felt like I always had a rather strained relationship with my MIL until Dave's diagnoses. Then I asked them to come stay with us while he was in treatment, and they stayed for six months. I don't think I ever wanted to take a baseball bat to her and we ended up better friends because of it. But I'm lucky I guess. Hang in there, good buddy! Karen C.

Berisa, I LOVED looking at these pictures! Your family is so attractive! I think you look more like your Dad and your brother more like your Mom. I am so sorry your Dad is gone but you have so many happy memories to carry with you forever. And like you said, he was a good daddy - that is so special! Looking at these photos really made me miss China, those two weeks we spent in China were the best two weeks of my life, and I think I left a little piece of my heart there! God Bless you and your very special family, Karen C.

OK jane, I just saw Karens post. Believe me when I say it was the steroids and not the PCI that got me. Me and steroids do not mix. Tell your dad not to worry and I will be praying for him. David C

Jane! No, No, No, No, No. Tell him my point was not that the PCI wacked me out but that I was not any more wacked out than before I did the PCI (ignore current photo). I will not lie, there are side effects but fatigue was my biggest problem and as I think I may have said-well worth it. David C

Wonderful, Wonderful news!!!!!!! You tell Chick Congratulations from me. Thyat news does give you a new lease on life. Nothing will ever look the same through his eyes. My experience with PCI was rough but I figured if it gave me even one week more with the ones I love then it was well worth it. Fatigue was my biggest problem with PCI. I also tend to be not as detail oriented when I am very tired and sometimes forget peoples name but honestly it is not that much worse than my cognative ability was PC (pre cancer). Enjoy every minute. David C

I think that the girlfriend has got to go. When Dave was first diagnosed the oncologist told us that he HAD to have a positive attitude, a will to live, and a strong support system around him. At the very least, the girlfriend is not a strong support system. She may even drag him down, which is not good. Also, it sounds like his sister is influencing him negativily with a bad experience from her husband, did I get that correctly? Well, everyone is different, every circumstance is different, and even chemo has improved so much just in the last few years. So everything she knows about it probably isn't even relative. Your Dad needs to have some time by himself or just with you around, do some reading and research, look over everyone's experiences on this board, and then make his decision. When Dave was in the hospital and the biopsy confirmed that it was lung cancer, he got very angry, and said he didn't want to see anyone but me for 24 hours (and docs and nurses, of course). He did alot of thinking and put himself in the mind frame to fight. Hang in there, and be strong for your Dad. and don't let those women push you around. God Bless, Karen C. (David C's wife)

Jane, that is GREAT news! I told you I thought he sounded alot like Dave with his diagnoses, treatment, etc. Dave was cancer free after his chemo, too. we decided to go for the PCI and really don't regret it. His doctors never flip flopped, they said at the beginning he would be getting it if he did well with his treatments. The only issue was that he responded well to the chemo and lung radiation, which of course he did. So we didn't question it too much. I will tell you that the PCI AND the steroids (decadron) he had to take because of brain swelling from the PCI, WACKED him out big time for several months. Just did weird things to him, short term memory problems, short temper, etc. but that is all just about gone and he's all better now. Of course he is 39 and your Dad is probably older. Just keep that in mind and remember that in most cases it all goes away, just a matter of patience. We decided that those little problems were much better than the alternative (cancer cells sneaking into his brain!). If he gets headaches, or a bad headache, after starting the PCI, that would be the brain swelling - let the radiologist know right away and they'll put him on decadron to relieve it. I'm so glad you went to that appt. and are so involved with your Dad's treatment. It really does make a difference. God Bless, Karen c.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/4864060/ Dave's parents just emailed us this article, looks like they've found a way to help some folks who previously did not respond well to Iressa? I just skimmed the article. Karen C.

Hi, All. Just wanted to let everyone know that Dave is getting a PET Scan on Monday. It's his regular every-three-month-post-treatment scan. No problems to speak of to note here. But prayers for a clean scan are most welcome! He is really doing good, it's amazing. He's just about to full speed at this point - still tires a bit easy, but some of that may be due to the extra weight he put on. We BOTH need to take care of that! God Bless and thanks, Karen C.