Patti B

Sally - This is the hardest fight you will ever fight, but you CAN do it!! In the beginning, I too was in a fog. Cancer can't happen to me - only other people, right?? And a year later, I still have my days when I just cannot believe this has happened to me. The feelings never go all the way away - its still the first thing I think of when I wake up in the morning and the last thing I think of when I fall asleep at night. But the feelings of helplessness have gone away and I truly do believe that if you BELIEVE you can fight this monster and win then you will. I will remember you in my prayers - keep us posted as to how you are. Patti B.

Your mom rocks!!! Congrats!! Patti B.

Your mom rocks!!! Congrats!! Patti B.

It seems like I am a "newbie" in the survivorship club with only 14 months under my belt, but plan to be around for a LONG time!! I am so inspired by yor stories and how long since some of your diagnosis!! I WILL DO THAT, TOO!! I really will! God Bless you all Patti B

Geri- 6 years - WOW!! Congrats to you!! You are truly a success story and I am so happy for you. I am raising my coffee cup up to you in a toast! Hugs - Patti

I am so very sorry for your loss. This will be, however, a place where you can come and share your feelings. This forum has impressed me so much with the wonderful caring of all who come here. Be good to yourself and know that we care. God Bless Patti B

I am so very sorry for your loss. This will be, however, a place where you can come and share your feelings. This forum has impressed me so much with the wonderful caring of all who come here. Be good to yourself and know that we care. God Bless Patti B

Amanda - Sorry to hear about your husband but you came to a GREAT place to talk and share information. Keep us informed on how he is doing!! Good luck and may God Bless you both! Patti B

Dear Nyka- No, I did not just want to hear from survivors - maybe caregivers and friends of survivors can give me some insight into how they feel and in turn make me better understand where my family and friends are coming from. You must be a special person to be able to write the post you did - not everyone could do that. Your honesty is wonderful!!

I had been feeling bad over the weekend about some stuff and thought about starting this subject but after talking on-line to a wonderful new friend that I have met through this forum (Christine) I felt much better. But in the last few days I have read several comments from other people who are sharing my thoughts so I thought I would start this as a new post. Is it just me or after a while, do our loved ones and friends seem to just "forget" that we are sick. When I started this journey 14 months ago, my friends and family rallied behind me and I was blown away with their caring and some of the things they were willing to do for me. People on my son's swim team sent me food every night for two months when I was too tired and sick from the inital chemos. It was wonderful and please know that no matter what, I will NEVER forget their kindnesses and genurousities to my family and me. But now, it seems as if so many people have either "gone away" or act as if there is nothing wrong with me. My husband and I got into a fight this weekend - I always have to remind him over and over and over about everything. He did his usual forgetting this weekend and tried to just gently tell him that he needs to set up some kind of a system, notes, whatever, because the time may come when I will not be in good enough shape to remind him of everything that needs to be done. He blew up at me and said that I was using my cancer to make him feel bad!! He expects too much of me, I think, sometimes (I am stage 4) and thinks I am still the "superwoman" I was before all this happened. Then my sister calls me and I was telling her that my having to take blood pressure meds is not a big deal to me what with my other medical problems. She says to me "what medical problems"......hello - cancer. Then my neighbor gets mad at me because she wanted me to babysit her 7 year old boy Monday while she goes to work who is SICK....flu, maybe, maybe strep throat. Of course I tell her no, I have chemo next week and don't need to have it cancelled because I am sick and she gets MAD!! Now my family is calling me asking me what time am I planning to have Thanksgiving this year. Not - do you feel up to it this year and what can we do to help - just what time should we be there?? My really good friends are still my really good friends but I feel like others have just disappeared. Its almost like, well, we were there to help in the beginning cause we thought she was going to die but she didn't so....... Am I the only one who feels like this?? I hope I do not sound like a whiny person but it does hurt sometimes. My sister lives 5 minutes away and I am waiting (for 14 months now) for her to say I am going to the grocery store, can I pick up anything for you?? And everyone knows that my husband is a long-distance truck driver who is only home 1 1/2 days per week. Is it because we don't look or act like we have cancer?? I know I don't "look" the part and certainly don't feel like I am sick - but isn't that the point - to enjoy your family and friends while you can? Do we have to be bed-ridden and wasting away for people to take the time for a phone call?? Or is it just me?? Would love to hear how others feel about this! Prayers to you all.

Hi Jasmine Sorry about the runaround you seem to be getting. I agree with Ned and Trish - you definintely need to get a second opinion if that is an option for you. My onc. actually recommends everyone does that just for their own piece of mind. It is totally unacceptable for someone to have to wait this long and to me, totally unacceptable that in his opinion you won't understand what he has to say. It is HIS JOB then to lay things out in a matter in which you WILL understand. I also agree that once you can let us know your location, someone may know of a great treatment center near you where you will feel more comfortable. Good luck and hope things start to turn around for you.

Ernie - I think I will put that bible verse on my fridge - it really says it all! Thank you.

Dick - Sorry you have to find us but am happy that you did!! This place is the best for hope, inspirational and caring. When I was first dx'd 14 months ago, I too was very depressed and fearful. You need to let your doc know as he can put you on some anti-depressants. Try to find a support group, and come here a lot!! I have days when I am still depressed and then I come here, and I feel so much better. Don't know how far along with your treatment plan you are, but once you have a plan in place it gets better, almost routine. Where in Ohio are you from? I am in Parma Hts outside of Cleveland and there is a gal here from Medina. Where are you being treated at?? Hope this helps at least a little - please know that we all DO care very much about you and we will be here for you.

Dick - Sorry you have to find us but am happy that you did!! This place is the best for hope, inspirational and caring. When I was first dx'd 14 months ago, I too was very depressed and fearful. You need to let your doc know as he can put you on some anti-depressants. Try to find a support group, and come here a lot!! I have days when I am still depressed and then I come here, and I feel so much better. Don't know how far along with your treatment plan you are, but once you have a plan in place it gets better, almost routine. Where in Ohio are you from? I am in Parma Hts outside of Cleveland and there is a gal here from Medina. Where are you being treated at?? Hope this helps at least a little - please know that we all DO care very much about you and we will be here for you.

Nicole - So glad everything went well today. Yes, I knew about the parking passes but thanks for thinking of me. Hope your mom continues to feel good. Keep us posted!

Susan - Welcome - this is a great place for hope and inspiration.

Thanks Dr West -have been concerned about changing docs since I just adored Dr. Kalmadi!! Nicole - will be thinking of you and your mom today!! Patti B

My prayers are with both your grandma and you. You should be so proud of the fact that you have been such a wonderful grandchild. I am sure she holds you near and dear to her heart. You cannot control what the rest of your family does - only what YOU do - and it sounds like you are doing everything you can for her!! Just being there with her and holding her hand can give her so much comfort. Thank you for telling her story - she sounds like one heck of a wonderful lady!!

Nicole- OMG!! Medina is a stone's throw away!! You have that great Antique Mall there!! Where in Parma Hts do your relatives live?? I am on Brandywine right by Calley Forge High School!! I am still receiving chemo every 3 weeks for a year now - just started on Alimta. What is nice about the Clinic is that if your mom really likes a specific chemo nurse, you can call a few days ahead of time and request her!! I always do. Its just a nice touch if you really like a specific one. I always request the gal who was my first chemo nurse - she calmed me down - I am sure I looked like a deer caught in the headlights!! Keep in touch and let us know how it goes on Monday!! Patti B.

Nicole - Wonderful news!!! Tell your mom to keep up the good work and fight like hell!! I see you are from Ohio - so am I......Parma Hts and I get my chemo at the Cleveland Clinic. Who is your moms onc there?? I had Dr. Kalmadi but unfortunately he just moved to Houston, Tx and will now be seeing Dr. Mikhail. Let your mom know that the chemo nurses there are GREAT -they really are all so nice - actually my cousin is one of them but they are all the best!! Keep us posted on her progress!!

Nicole - Wonderful news!!! Tell your mom to keep up the good work and fight like hell!! I see you are from Ohio - so am I......Parma Hts and I get my chemo at the Cleveland Clinic. Who is your moms onc there?? I had Dr. Kalmadi but unfortunately he just moved to Houston, Tx and will now be seeing Dr. Mikhail. Let your mom know that the chemo nurses there are GREAT -they really are all so nice - actually my cousin is one of them but they are all the best!! Keep us posted on her progress!!

I have just had my 2nd round of Alimta. Only side effect is a little more tired than when on Avastin only but then Avastin was a cake-walk. I have heard some people become more SOB on Alimta but for me so far so good!! And my hair had just grown back in and I have not re-lost it so that is a big plus!! Wishing you lots of luck!! Patti B.

Why did I have to read this just before going to bed?? I am so angry that I will be awake all night. We look to doctors and medical professionals to help us along the path to either recovery or at least a dignified ending to our lives. Point exactly - it is OUR lives, they are not the ones who will ultimately have to be taken by this illness so how can they NOT be everything but compassionate and caring in their attitudes towards us. I had a PA who dead lied in my face about why she gave me wrong CAT scan results and raised my hopes - BOOM - I fired her butt!! I now have a new one!! Sure, everyone has bad days, but when you work with people who have a life-threatening disease, you need to leave that attitude at home!! Hopefully, when meeting with the onc. yourself, you will get a different "take" on what he meant. And I would hope that he would call your mom and personally apologize to her for making her feel the way she did!! It is just unacceptable!! As far as the cable company goes......how can people be so cold-hearted is beyond me. To say that only a death cert. can get a bill voided is .....well, I can't use that kind of language on-line!! You sure do have a lot on your plate and I do hope things begin to get better for you and your mom. Keep up the good work with being her advocate - she is blessed to have you in her corner. My prayers are with you both! Patti B.

There is a topic posted on www.onctalk.com regarding mouth sores that just got started a few days ago. Several different "mouthwashes" are listed including one by Dr. West. At least if she can eat, maybe she will get some of her strength back and feel somewhat better. Once again, my prayers are with you. Patti B.

I do not have the exact statistics but I do know that my onc told me there is an alarming increase in women being dx'd with lung cancer who never smoked, husband never smoked and parents never smoked so, in essence, was never really exposed to a lot of "second hand" smoke. Maybe Dr. West could help you at www.onctalk.com. He's the best!! Good luck with your report. Patti B.