Barbb

Mary my heart is with you tonight. Wow, Randy, I visited that site and played "I Am Alive", I can't stop sobbing. Those are important things to remember, thank you. Barb

I am praying for you that this is not LC. How does a person get Valley Fever? My son lives in Phx and I have never heard of it. Let us know as soon as possible what she decides. At least if you have sleep apnea it is easier to treat than LC.... Barb

I have the 20/20 hindsight, too. After Rod's knee surgery, with the leg pain, he started losing weight. We thought he just lost his appetite from pain and meds but you don't just lose 40 pounds in a couple months from that. But I truly believe I was in such deep denial that a back hoe couldn't have dug me out. I was at the therapist telling her all my troubles and bless her heart, she WAS listening. She said recently that she suspected cancer and she has never seen him. She just knew so much about us from our appts. that she knew something else was wrong. Did I beat myself up? Yes, until my sister said, "It wouldn't have made a difference by then if you had gotten him in earlier". His lungs are so diseased by emphysema and the cancer that surgery was never an option. So, we just do the best we can and have a great oncologist and his team. I hope you will let go of the guilt and just love your mom like I bet she loves you. You are a good daughter and it isn't your fault. Barb

Everything Ned said is how my husband feels after Neulasta. It is helping, that's why it hurts is what we were told. Hope that helps you. Barb

All of you make so much sense, it's a man thing and that's the way he's always been. I'm so glad to be here. Barb

Ken, I just joined here too and the best thing I have read is "don't look at the stats", hopefully you will have no reason to worry anyway. Keep posting and I wish you the best. Barb

I have been doing a lot of reading on this site this weekend and I see so many people whose loved ones talk to them about their cancer. Rod doesn't talk about the "cancer" but he talks about the pain. I want to know how he feels about everything, but he has never been one to share. He is the stoic type. I need to talk, does that mean I talk to him even is he doesn't want to or my friends or just my therapist? It's really hard to have all this stuff inside. Barbb

Thanks Randy, I checked the site and it was very helpful, will check out the Dr. you referred to also. Barb

I've read a lot of posts and am wondering if anyone knows why some people have chemo every week and some, like my husband, once every three weeks? He had four sessions, the onc. said after 4 sessions the chemo doesn't do much more so he will change the "recipe" and try other drugs. I am really wondering how they decide. Barb

Terrific news I am so glad to read this, I am getting more hopeful! Enjoy those beautiful children . God Bless Barb

I am so sorry for your loss. It is true you go through this one step at a time, one day or one hour or 1 minute at a time. I was with my mom in Phoenix when she passed from breast cancer 11 years ago. It does get less painful but oh how I miss her. Dad just needed us to call him and talk to him and let him talk. Maybe that is what will help your dad. Barbb

We have been told several times to do the fun things we always wanted to do and make memories,it sounds like Rod is going to pass away any minute when the medical people say that. Do you have trouble with eating/providing meals? Rod eats Arby's, cereal, soup, and egg salad sandwiches. He also likes to eat cantalope. He drinks 2 cans of ProSure a day also. He isn't gaining wt. but is staying steady. Do you also find yourself or patient sleeping most of the time they are at home? There are so many things I need to do but have never had to. I'd like to cut some trees, small ones, that were destroyed in the tornado so we can use our wood stove this winter but the chain saw won't start. I don't enjoy that job but I know how to do it. I hate having to be in charge. I am not good at it and I liked being taken care of.I guess that has come to a screeching halt now. Well, thanks for reading this, I sure appreciate the responses, nice to know I'm not alone in all this crap. Barb

Thank you for your post. I am told often that I am being strong, I just feel like the feelings are locked in my brain. I let them out sometimes. Yesterday my neighbor came over and asked how I am doing, I had to tell her "I don't know". Tonight when I began reading the messages my chest got tight and I have to sit up straight to breathe. I was switched to Effexor for depression before we got the diagnosis and it really helps but the panic attacks come when least expected. How do you put what you are feeling into words? I can't find the right ones now. Barbb

Thanks everyone. I can see this is the place to be for support and friends. We live southeast of Lincoln. Have you other Nebraskans heard of Hickman? Barbb

Hi everybody, I am finally ready to talk about my husband's lung cancer. He has smoked for 38 years and I knew this bad thing would come some day. He had so much bone pain after knee surgery in March 2007 but we just didn't think of cancer. It has spread to some ribs and most of his vertabrae. He was diagnosed June 29, 2007 with non small cell squamas, stave IV. He is 54 years old and still working. He just finished his 4th session of chemo and is having a "break". Will have another scan on the 26th. I am pushing the feelings down but at night my thoughts are so painful. I am going to a therapist who started her practice over 20 years ago as a cancer patient/family therapist and it helps some, hurts some. It just feels so hopeless. Barbb