Nyka, Debi and Randy,
I am crying after reading your posts. I feel like I am so close to being where you are and I don't know how you go on, AND you keep posting to help others. I hope it helps you more to vent your feelings. I am SO D___ sorry you are in so much pain. If there were words to ease your soul, I would come to you and say them.You are all in my heart tonight.
Barb