shirleyb

I too am sorry you had to find this board. But know that those on here are also very involved with their loved ones and can provide you the support and encouragement you need to fight this battle. As someone has posted before knowledge is power. My only advise to someone who is "new" to this is get yourself a notebook and take notes on everything. Everytime you talk to the doctors, the nurses, the lab techs. Write everything down. Write your questions down and keep that book with you. It will become your bible in many ways. Write down all the medications, the tests, when, where, who.....all that stuff. I know for me it saved us so much time when it became critical that Randy get the care he needed and those treating him did not have his records avalible to look at immediately. The other thing I would advise to everyone is get that medical and legal power of attoney. No one needs to go through the heartache and pain trying to get records or have treatment done when you don't have it and your loved ones are too ill to be able to handle it all. I have become a real advocate that each person here who has cancer have a voice to yell and scream for them. If you feel that something is not being done right, yell until you understand. Ask questions and make them explain everything until you do understand it. My prayers are with you and your family. Encourage your husband to quit if he can. All he can do is try. Take care of yourself both physically and mentally. Don't be afraid to ask for help from any of us on the board. We have been there, are there, and will be here in the future. Keep your eyes open. Miracles do happen. They may be small but they are miracles. Put your trust in God. Love and hugs coming at you. Shirley

There are foods that interact with the blood thinners. Check to see which ones they are. From what I know green vegs and cranberries should not be eaten. Keep a log of what Darrel is eating and see if you find any other items that might be effecting how the meds are working. My heart goes out to you and Darrel. To not only deal with the lung cancer but now this too. Keep up on this though. From what our onc told us .. they lose more LC patients to blood clots than the cancer. My prayers and thoughts are with you. Shirley

Thank you everyone for you input. I am going to continue to do the research on this as my son is greatly concerned. Randy had all five types. The facial, the hair, the fingernails, the full body(arms, legs, trunk) and the arthitis. He showed signs of this at age 15. Some of the earlier treatments included tar based ointments. Tar ointment causes cancer in rats and rabbits. Why would we think it would not harm people? Randy had some pretty acute episodes with all of them. As I learn more, I will try and share with you. Thank you again for your input and support. One day maybe they will find the cure for both. The psorasis was hard for Randy. The looks he got from people who did not know what it was and then they treated him like a leper. Shirley

I am curious. Is there anyone else out there that has developed lung cancer and also has psorasis? Randy had all five kinds of psorasis. After his death, I was talking to a number of his family members only to find out that there are atleast 10 deaths in his family going back 4 generations linked to lung cancer. The unusual thing that I found out though was that they all had the psorasis like Randy did. The others who have the psorasis but not as bad (they had one or two types of it) did not develope the cancer. But those that had it as bad as he did, have all had lung cancer. Has anyone else found anything like this before? I can't seem to find too much information that links the two. I have found it for skin cancer but not the lung cancer. I am trying to find out as much as possible because our son now has the psorasis showing up and he is scared to death that he will end up like his father and grandfather. Thanks in advance for all your support and input. This board and the people who use it are truely amazing. Keeping my eyes open. Shirley

Cheryl, You and Dick are in my prayers that he can fight this last bump in the road. Keep the Faith, Shirley

Kathy, I am so sorry for your lost of your best friend and husband. It is a nightmare that none of us wants to go through. Be good to yourself in these next few days. Keep in touch with the rest of us on the board. We know what you are going through and if anyone can help....just say so. May you find peace, Keep the Faith, Shirley

Norme, I am so sorry you did not get the news you wanted. You and Buddy are in my prayers. Love to you both. Shirley

Dyan, I am so sorry for your loss. To loss your best friend is so very hard. Stick around here for support. We all need it sometime. Take care of yourself. Shirleyb

Ann, I am so sorry. I know what you mean about "finding" things. It tears your heart to peaces. The memories keep coming back. The pain of not having Dennis around to talk to, to touch, is almost unbearable. My heart goes out to you. I have a little "thing" I have started doing with Randy because I miss him so much. Wednesday's are my worst day of the week. Close your eyes when you are done reading, and imagine and feel the warmth and love that you had with him. Don't think of him being sick. Let the love surround you, to calm your heart, to ease your pain, to comfort your soul. Know that he loved you and is still with you. Just close your eyes and let your heart be open to feel his presence. Smile. He loves to see you smile. May the sun shine upon you today and warm your soul. Lift your face to the skys and know he is there. Much love, Shirley

How to start? Randy has been gone now almost two months. It seems like it has been so long ago some days and then there are times when the pain hits like a ton of bricks and it feels like it has just happened. I don't know yet what I am going to do. I have been out of work since last January so I was blessed that I could be with Randy through his illness and death. But now it is time to get back to work for reasons which are all to real for all of us. I need to pay the bills. I just have to keep the faith that when God sees fit, a job will open for me. It has always worked that way in the past, so why should anything be different this time. I just have to pinch myself sometimes to get out of the pity party and realize that I still have to have faith. But having faith doesn't take away the lonelyness or the pain of not having Randy with me now, here on earth. I would give anything to have him tell me he loves me again. When he passed, neither one of us knew it was going to happen. It all happened so fast. He looked at me and he was gone. No time to say I love you honey, no last kiss, no last hug. He was gone. I feel so d*&n cheated! Like Christina, I feel so lost, without direction. The pain is so overwhelming some days that I don't know how I can go on. But then something or someone interupts and I realize, I still am here and living. Randy would be so mad at me for wasting my time crying. He is not in pain anymore. No one can tell him it was all in his head. He can rest and at last have his dignity back. He would say, this has happened, we can't change anything. All we can do is go on and make today better than yesterday. Make the most of it. Just play the cards you are delt to the best of your ability. That is all you can do. The rest is up to God. Please know I have been praying for you all. Katie, your dear father, mainecoon, your beatuiful wife, Christina, your beloved husband. To those who I have not mentioned, and have lost someone who made their life whole, please accept my prayers for you also. I know how my heart is breaking still, knowing I will never see my beloved Randy again. I miss him so. He was my best friend. He knew me better than I knew myself. He love was total and unfailing. He was my rock and my sunshine. I love him. Keep the faith and tell those you love, that you love them. Shirley

The one thing my husband and I did was to get a set of good walkie talkies. This was just so if I had to leave the room, go outside for anything, or had to be busy with something and could not be right there. That way he never felt like he was left "alone". He could always reach me in just a click of the button and I would know to be there. Just an idea that saved us alot of unneeded stress. Best of luck on the coming home.

I will keep you both in my prayers. Keep the Faith.

If you mother's doctor approves it, you might try some massage therapy. Sometimes because the circulation is hampered from being in bed so much, massage sometimes will help to ease the discomfort. Check with her doctor's first though.

Thank you all. I am not sure if I am coming or going but I do know that I have a wonderful family. The kids have been super. Friends have stepped forward to help me through this nightmare I am having. God has provided my guardians here on earth, just as I know Randy is in heaven. My love to all. Shirley

Hi everyone, Thank you all for all the support you have been the last few weeks. I am sad to say that Randy passed away tonight. We thought we would have a little more time than this. He was suppose to come home from the hospital on Friday. His body just got so tired. His heart quit. Be good to each other. We prayed for miracles and we got some. It just wasn't the one we wanted. I love you Randy. Shirley Your Number One Fan

Hi everyone, Randy passed away tonight. He had surgery last Saturday because of an infection. He just wasn't strong enough anymore. His heart quit. I am missing him so much already. His birthday is Sunday and I have a stack of cards that friends had sent that I was saving for him to give him all at once. We thought we would have alittle more time but God said it wasn't to be. We prayed for miracles and we got them. We had friends show up at the oddest of places just when we needed them. We had enough time for the kids to see him while he was feeling good. He had time to know and accept that this was God's will and it was totally in God's hands. Please do not take for granted the ones you love. Try to make a difference. We all knew it could happen any time but we were praying for more. I love you Randy. Shirl

Hi All, Randy was readmitted to the hospital on Friday because he developed a massive infection in the groin. They did emergancy surgery on Saturday morning and are giving him antibiotics to fight the infection. So on top of all the issues with the blood clots, he now will not be able to take his chemo treatment for another 2 or even 3 weeks depending on how he responds. He only has had one dose so far. How this will impact him and the cancer is uncertain. I feel like this a major set back for us. He really has not been able to be out of bed for two months now and that worries me also. I want for him to be able to do what he needs to do and wants to do. Will he ever get his strength back enough to be up and around? Thanks for always being here and giving good advise. I am not sure what to expect anymore. It feels like about the time we make a plan to do something, something else raises it's ugly head and says, no way, not going to let it happen. I get so mad. I just want for him to feel good for a while. It has been too long since he has had a good day and I feel like I am losing alittle more of him each day. I really do believe that God is watching over us, but I am only human. I am thankful for each morning I wake up and know I still have him here. I am sorry we are all walking this awful journey together, but that is what we are good at. Walking together and giving support. And always having faith and hope that we will win this battle. Thanks for letting me vent. Love to all. My prayers are with each of you even if I don't respond to each message. Know I am thinking of you and praying for you also. In His Grip, Shirley

Hi All, I have a wonderful friend who sent me this prayer for Randy. You can fill in your own name and family but I feel what she has prayed for is what we all pray for. I want to share this with you prayer with you. It is one I pray everyday now. I have been blessed by just having this site. Everyone here is so very special. Keep the Faith that God knows what he is doing and that we all can accept what needs to be accepted. Never give up hope. Miracles happen everyday and we don't know why. IN HIS GRIP ALWAYS, Shirley Lord, I pray for peace as Randy awaits the intervention of the medication. Protect him. Give him courage to speak your name with joy to all who enter his room. I pray for intervention in this 'it shouldn't be happening' situation. Thank you that we know you are very aware of what is happening and why. Protect Randy from the enemy and all his tricks and deviousness. May he center on You and draw all his strength there. May he have some extra to share with others in need at this time. Thank you for watching over Randy, Shirley, and their children. Please continue to do that. Encourage them all, even in what looks like unexpected and unwelcome information. Strengthen them, especially in the knowledge of you. Strengthen Randy's body. Keep all other illness elements away from him so that he only has to work through the current cancer issue. Thank you for loving us, listening, and having the very best plan for us as individuals. In Christ's name and through His blood, Nancy

May you have many more anniversaries to celebrate. Shirley

We sure are glad Randy is home! He is so much happier. Not that the nurses and staff weren't nice or anything but he really likes his own bed. Thank you to everyone. I don't know how I could do this whole journey without your support and friendship. Thank you. Keep the eyes open. Miracles happen everyday. Shirley

Hi all, Randy was able to come home from the hospital today. What we found out is this. Between the liver cancer and the psorasis, it will cause him to have a higher tendancy for blood clots. We just will have to monitor his INR levels more closely. He has his next chemo on Friday. This good news for us. He is able to be back home in his own bed and this is something that is managable. YEA!!!!! Keep the eyes open, miracles happen every day. Shirley

Thank you, everyone, for the encouraging thoughts and for sharing your wisdom. Randy has NSCLC. (adneo). This came as a real surprise to us as he had been having his checkup's. He is only 48. We are learning all sorts of things. One issue that has been brought to our attention and we had questioned it before, is that because Randy has all five kinds of psorasis, he is going to have more trouble with blood clots. They are working on getting the blood situation undercontrol so he can come back home. Seeing others here who have survived, is very encouraging. I have been out to a number of the web sites that have been posted and am finding a lot of the information I am wanting to know. It sure helps when it comes time to ask questions. Thank you all again for sharing. I will be around here a lot I think. It is good for my soul. Keeping the Faith and expecting Miracles everyday! Shirley

Hi all, I too, am new to this club we call cancer survivors. My husband, Randy, was diagnosed on July 4 with stage 4 lung cancer that has spread to the liver. His only option for treatment at this time is chemo, which he started on July 13. He came home from the hospital after a 12 day stay on July 14, only to be readmitted last night again because of blood clots in his legs. He just wants to be home. Right now I am not sure where to begin. What questions to ask, who to ask them too, where to go for more information, and the rest that I am sure each of us is going through in our own way. I am fortunate in that one of Randy's nurses (Donna G) guided us to this site. I am so thankful for her in this process. That is the basics for now. We are hoping for a miracle because we see them every day in our lives. We only pray that God grants us the big one we are looking for. Until then, we have a battle ahead of us and we need all the help we can get. Keeping the Faith, Shirley Randy's number one Fan!!!