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Posts posted by shirleyb

  1. Fay,

    Thank you for all you are and all you have contributed to this board. Your wisdom and faith have carried more than one of us on to continue to fight for what is right.

    May God be with you now and always.

    Much love and many prayers,


  2. Mark,

    Losing Leslie is like losing half of you. She was so much a part of you. Every breath you take, every move you made, she was right there with you. She still is, but like you said, she is not at your side anymore. You can't call her and talk to her, you can't hear her laughter, you can't touch her. Leslie is in your heart and soul. Close your eyes and tune everything else out and you will see her. You will hear her because she is still with you in spirit.

    Time is all you have right now and no it is not moving fast enough. Take whatever time you need though to greive for your loss. Just remember we are here for you anytime you need us. Many of us are on the same path but at different points but we know only too well what you are going through and we will stand by you too as others have stood by us.

    May you feel Leslie with you always.


  3. Connie,

    thank you for the updates on Fay. It is heartbreaking to know that she is suffering and not able to be home where she wants to be with her family.

    Fay has always been a very special and wonderful person with so much to share. Her insights are so profound and I feel have benefited many going through the journeys they are on.

    Give her my love. My prayers are for all of us.


  4. Kim,

    Just an off hand idea but maybe getting him to write down all that he is feeling in a journal would help him to identify himself again. I know this is off the wall but maybe it would be a way that he could put into words what he is missing.

    I can understand where he is coming from. You were able to reach out and develope a support system and did not rely on him for your moral support. Maybe he is feeling like you don't need him emotionally anymore because you do have all these people who know you and what you were going through because of him. But who was his support? He had you and your family I am sure but you have this hugh circle of people to talk to and he doesn't.

    Maybe he is not one to talk to someone but maybe he could try to write to himself about what he wants. It might help if he were to write down on paper what his goals are now. He may need to find out he needs to dream again of the future and not just the next test. Once we lose our dreams, we tend to lose everything that is important. Kind of like Peter Pan.

    I hope things get better for him and for you.

    Prayers for all of us.


  5. Peggy,

    It is good to see you post. I know too how hard it is to lose that one person you feel is half your soul.

    I am glad to see you are busy and it is good to know Mike is coming back home. I know for me it has helped to have the kids close to home. And to have the projects.

    Thanks for the update and for sticking around.


  6. Holly,

    I am in agreement with Don on this. He said it best I think.

    I know that your going back home will be another change that is not always easy but it is the thing to do.

    Your father will survive. It may not be easy but he will survive. If he is able to travel then maybe he should come to visit with you. But the bottom line is life will go on. He will survive just as you will. Adjusting to life without your mother will be difficult for both of you but your husband needs you too. And the longer you are away from him, the more he will miss of his child growing up so quickly.

    Pray that God guides you in the right thing to do and the right time.

    Much love,


  7. Randy's older brother Steve found out on Tuesday that he had colon cancer. They did the surgery yesterday to remove the tumor and everything was going well. When I talked to Steve last, he was in good spirits and very optomistic that this would be fine and he would be back to work soon.

    Well, I got a call early this evening and Steve passed away this afternoon.

    Steve was the kind of man that you admire. He was a wonderful brother, a super husband, the best dad and grandfather you would want to have in your life. When Randy died, Steve and his wife were here the next day to mourn with us and share stories of their youth. Last September I got to visit with them on a trip to Washington, and Steve gave his blessings for Mike and I. He said Randy would want me to be happy and Steve though Mike was the one for me.

    I am just in shock. Steve and Randy looked so much alike. They were the best of brothers. Their love for each other was always there.

    I am sure the light was bright and Steve went into it knowing he would be with our Lord and his family again. I can see him and Randy meeting again and what joy that must be for both of them.

    Please say a prayer for Steve's wife, children, grandchildren, his Mother, and his sisters and brothers who are hurting so badly right now.

    I really hate cancer.

    Prayers for all of us.

    Much love,


  8. Donna G was the first nurse we dealt with when Randy got sick. Donna was our intake nurse that night. She is also the one who guided me to this site.

    Along with Donna there were a number of angels that helped us on our journey. They were so incredible.

    After Randy passed, a few of them came to the visitation. You will never know how it touched my heart to know they cared so much about him.

    They are ANGELS!!!

    Thank you Donna.

    Tell Kristy, Noelia, Karen, Bethany, Jan, and the rest whose names escape me that I still think of all they did for us and I will be forever grateful.

    Much love,


  9. Val,

    Get over it? How? If you find an answer to that, please share it with all of us. If anyone has an answer to that, please share.

    I don't think we ever get over it. Losing those we love is not something we would wish on anyone.

    But time has a funny way of getting in the way of our grief. In time, we learn to live a new normal. In time we are able to think of those we love and not cry a river. In time the pain softens, but it never really ever goes away. We just learn to live a new normal.

    I am so sorry you are hurting. Know you are not alone on this journey. There are many here with you. We may not all be at the same place in the journey but we do understand. And unfortunately, that comes with losing those we love. It is a common bond we have. We miss them terribly, but we do keep on going.

    Much love and warm gentle hugs.


  10. I always believed in God but when Randy was dx'd, it became so much stronger. I realized that I had no control over what was going on, I could only pray for help.

    I also realized that I needed to keep my relationships right with those I love. I make sure they know I love them because we do not ever leave the house or go to bed without telling each other we love them.

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