cathyr

Hey Sugar, Get that fluid drained and start breathing better. I know that will help a lot. It's always so great to hear your posts. You have been such a positive reinforcement for us all. We will await your good news after the drain. CathyR

Shelly, Prayers are out to you and your family immediately!! Hang in there girl. We are all with you. CathyR

Hi all, So much support and love has been sent my way and I have felt it all the way to San Diego. I am home today from my first go around with chemo. It was a very, very long day - 8 hours. I think the most difficult part was trying to figure out what to do with myself for all that time. I took books along, but you can only read for so long. Fortunately, I had a bed to lay on. The other hard part was the steriod makes me very antsy and I'm already sort of a hyper person so I got up alot to go potty, even if just to walk a little. A week from Tuesday is the next appt. and it's only the Gemzar and not the Cisplatin as well. It should be a lot shorter session. My family has been marvelous. I couldn't ask for a better place to be during this time. My brother lives right on the Pacific ocean coast and every morning I can peer out and watch the dolphins from his deck. This week, I plan to start meditating and just being kind to myself. I wanted to let you know how much I care about all of you and how marvelous your response has been to my situation even though most of you are having as difficult a time with this as I am. Peace, love, and most of all "good health" and a full recovery for us all in ever present in my mind. Thank you for being such good friends. I don't know what I would do without you all! Cathy R

My prayers are with you as always, Sandy. We are all in this together and just know that you have much support behind you. We are wishing you only the best!!! CathyR

Hi family, I just seem to get one bit of bad news after another and I'm not sure how much more I can handle. Six weeks ago I discovered that my surgeon in L.A. has misdiagnosed a recurrance of a lung tumor that could have been removed a year ago had he just done a biopsy. A pet scan indicated that the tumor was only in the lung. During surgery in San Diego, it was discovered that three lymph nodes removed were full of cancer. They never lit up on the PET scan. The anesthesiologist scratched my voice box with the tube down my throat and my voice is an octave higher than it should be. I am also having problems pronouncing some vowel sounds. It has not corrected itself like they said it would. It has been 5 weeks since surgery. As if that wasn't enough it now appears several small tumors are starting on my right lung. The original cancer was to the left lung. I have now been restaged from 2B to 4. I was offered a clinical trial to participate in that would allow me to take a new drug called Avistan. It is supposed to cut off the blood supply to the tumors. I was to have a 50% chance of being chosen to get the drug. As you probably can guess, I found out today that I will NOT be receiving the Avistan. I start chemo this coming Monday. It is my first encounter with it and I'm scared, discouraged, and having such a hard time handling all of these set backs. I feel like the unluckiest person ever. I lost my husband to lung cancer almost 4 years ago and it been downhill ever since. If it wasn't for my family, I would probably take some pills and sleep forever. I just can't believe it can be this difficult. I needed some good news so badly this morning and I am devastated that I can't get the clinical trial drug. I feel bad asking for help from all of you who are suffering just as much as I am, but I don't think I can get through this without it. What do you do when it all seems so hopeless and even the experts let you down? Thanks for listening and I still pray for us all even though these days I'm not sure God really listens. CathyR

Way to Go Dave! You just made my day, my week, my month. I guess sometimes prayers are answered! We are all so happy for you. Now, go enjoy 2004 CathyR

Hi all, I'll go too. I start my first round of chemo in San Diego on Jan. 6, and will have to have 6 rounds. It should be ending sometime in April, so if I feel well enough, I'd love to go, too. Let's get it going in So. Cal. Cathyr

Mo, I am so happy for you! You are such a positive, wonderful woman and deserve good news! I only hope 2004 blesses you with good news all year round. Merry Christmas, honey. CathyR

Merry Christmas Don and Lucie! I am so happy to hear of your good news. You are such a support to all of us and this gives us so much joy. God Bless you both. CathyR

Hi everyone, I wanted to first thank you all for the supportive messages and prayers that have been showered upon me. I had my lobectomy (2nd one) on Dec. 2 and did not get out of the hospital until Dec. 9. Unfortunately, when the surgeon opened me up he discovered that three lymph nodes removed all were malignant. He decided to take just the section with the tumor out and leave as much lung as he could. The PET scan prior to the operation indicated no lymph node involvement so this was a bad surprise. I have been restaged to IIIA from IIB. I met the oncologist yesterday and she is suggesting a 6 cycle course of Gemzar and Cisplatin. I am scheduled for a bone scan tomorrow and a CT of the chest on Monday. She wants to make sure that it has not spread anywhere. Fortunately, I am asymptomatic which she said is a positive. I will need to move to San Diego from L.A. for about 6 months. Originally, I had planned to do the chemo in L.A., but both surgeon and oncologist strongly recommend staying with family. I am very blessed to have a strong support system from family and friends. I will stay with my brother who is not only a nutritional nut, but an incredibly spirtual person. I am just trying to come to grips with this new plan of attack. I am pretty scared as I know all of us have experienced at some point during this dreadful disease. I have been keeping up with the posts and just haven't wanted to write about this yet because of all the other things happening. I only wish it were easier for us all. I still sometimes think I'm in a bad dream. If only that were true. I am inspired by all of you and I pray that we can keep this web site up and running. I will be sending a donation and asking others I know to do the same. I love you all and find comfort in knowing that no one of us has to go through this by ourselves. Thank you for reading this and I will keep you guys informed. Please send some prayers that my bone scan comes out clean. I, too, continue to pray for you!!! Hugs to you all, Cathyr

This truly is a Thanksgiving! I am so happy for you! Celebrate every day. CathyR

How do I begin to thank you for all the good wishes and encouragement? It means more than I can express. I had the pre-op today which went fine. For those out there that have never had a lobectomy, I had my first one 2 years and 3 months ago. I now have 90% lung capacity. Not bad at all for having a missing upper left lobe. I am known as the karaoke queen of Culver City, Ca. so I think all that crooning helped! I'm set for a 7:00 a.m. surgery Dec. 2, and I am going to just hope for the best. I have wonderful support, a strong will, and "warrior" mentality. Just had to come back on the boards to thank you all. By the way, the first surgeon whose office dismissed my last scans as "probably still nothing" called me Saturday night at 6:30 p.m. to apologize and let me know that his associate who saw me never alerted him to the importance of looking at my scans. At least he called back and apologized. I suppose thats more than some would do. Or, do you think he's hoping to avert a law suit? Anyway, my friends, love and good wishes to you all. I hope everybody has a wonderful Thanksgiving! God Bless you all! CathyR

Hi Friends, Well, I now have surgery scheduled to remove the remaining lobe of my left lung. A new tumor has been discovered. Thank God for second opinions. One surgeon who has been "watching" this for a year was wrong in thinking that it was "nothing." We are praying that the lymph node is not involved. It is swollen on the CT scan, but did not light up on the PET scan. Please keep your fingers crossed for me. I go on Nov. 25 for pre-op work-up and then Dec. 2nd for surgery. I will have to follow up with chemo for 4 cycles. Wonderful timing for the holidays, huh? I hate this damn disease. It took my husband 3 1/2 years ago and now I'm fighting for my life as well. I think the worst part for me is putting my family and friends through this. I put on as positive a face as possible because I think that will help them get through this - particularly my mom. But, sometimes, when I'm on this board and reading these messages, it breaks my heart that there is so much suffering in this. I look forward to the day when nobody has to sign up for the "New to this Board" section or when the "Good News" section is longer than this section. I remain very grateful to all of you for listening, praying with me, and just being there. I will try to update you all after my surgery when I am able.

Dave, I could not agree more with you. I also have to tell you that I have so much respect and admiration for you. You have given me strength and courage to face this disease. Bless you and all the work you have done to bring this disease to the surface. Your friend and fellow survivor. CathyR

Kristy, My prayers are with you and your mother. God bless both of you!!! CathyR

Hi Don, Best of luck to both you and Lucie. You guys have already come out on top though because your love for each other is so obvious to us all! Prayers and hugs are coming your way! CathyR

David, You have my prayers! I hope we all fight as hard as we can against this viscous disease. None of us deserved this - smoker or not. Hugs CathyR

Well friends, I had two years of a good run and now it looks like the dreaded "c" is back. It's on the left side of the lung again. I had a lobectomy to remove the upper left lobe two years ago. The lower lobe inflates to take up the empty space. Well, there's a malignancy on the lower lobe. I'm going to have to have another surgery to remove the lower lobe and then a follow-up with chemo. They were initially afraid that a lymph node on the left and a spot on the right would light up as well, but the PET scan is only showing a tumor on the left lung as cancerous. The question is has anyone gone through two lobectomies. I know some of you have and I wondered is it about the same as the first. The surgeon will cut in the original incision. I did not have a very difficult recovery, but I wonder how the second one will be. What have any of you experienced with this. Also, how long do they wait before doing chemo after a lobectomy? I did not have chemo the first time around. This will be new to me. I think I dread the chemo more than the surgery. Anyway, I have an appt. with the oncologist Monday. Hopefully, he will have had time to talk to the surgeon by then. I am just so sorry this had to happen right around the holidays. I was thinking of asking if I could postpone the surgery for 2 weeks until Thanksgiving is over, but I don't know if that's wise. Any information you guys can supply would be very appreciated. My prayers go out to all of us. Cathy

I so admired my oncologist. His name was Dr. Loren Feldman and he passed away Monday, Nov. 10th from cancer. He was very special. His compassion was obviously notches above the rest of the doctors as he knew this subject from the inside and outside. He was only 51 and found himself at the age of 42 with renal cancer. After having his kidney removed, he went into remission for 3 years. For the last several years, he's had mets to his lung, hip, and spine. All the while, through chemo, radiation, operations. he rallied back so he could care for us, his patients. He had spinal surgery done 2 months ago to remove a malignancy in the spine. I saw him 2 weeks ago back at work. Apparently, the lungs filled with fluid over the week-end. He asked for no extraordinary measures to be taken. It is such a loss for human kind. I saw him as a role model, teacher, friend, and healer. I already miss you terrible, Dr. Feldman. I hope you are resting in peace now my handsome doctor. Cathy

Gosh Faye, I couldn't agree with you more! As a matter of fact, I am sitting here waiting for a call from either my surgeon or my oncologist to give me the results of a PET scan done a couple days ago. A different surgeon has been "watching" a spot for almost a year now. A few weeks ago after my newest CT scan shows it growing and a new spot on my other lung now, I went to see him. He was too busy and I was given to a "new" surgeon in the office. He shrugged it off as probably benign, but said we'll keep a closer watch on you and then scheduled to see me again in 2 months. I did not feel comfortable with this and made an appt. to see my original surgeon (200 miles away) for a second opinion. He did not like the way the CT scans looked at all and immediately ordered a PET scan for me. (I suggeted one to the other surgeon myself and he didn't think it was necessary). He said it didn't think the other surgeon actually looked at my scan because he wouldn't be so nonchallant about it. Anyway, as I sit here watching the clock ticking away, I am filled with fear and anxiety as I have had 2 years of no cancer and now it appears as though its back. If it is, I only hope I can deal with it with as much grace and dignity as so many others have on this site. May God bless us all and may we all find the strength to face our challenges and prevail! Thanks for listening to me. Cathy

Kathy, No words can make this easier. Just know that his life was enriched throughout this horrible disease by your devotion and love. My husband too passed away from lung cancer at 56 years old and only 6 weeks after diagnosis. I try to focus on the happier times and know that I made a difference in his life just as he did in mine, May you find comfort in those memories. CathyR

Hi Jay! Gosh we've missed you soooo much. We are all praying your test result come out favorably. I hope you've been having some good times, too! Let us know. We're always here for you! Cathy

Dave P. You are one amazing human being. The world is so much better for having you in it. Your endless dedication to eradicating this dread disease in such a positive, and selfless manner is awe inspiring. Thank you,thank you, thank you for making this a better place to live Cathy R

What wonderful new! I, too have been a survivor for 2 years and 1 month. I was staged at IIB as well. I feel so fortunate and yet, like you, so sorry that more of us aren't able to celebrate yet. I say "yet" because I still believe that we have a chance. Anyway, relax now, enjoy and celebrate! CathyR

Welcome back, Lucie! What wonderful news, Don. Just enjoy, relax, and celebrate!!!!!!!!!!