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  1. Karen, Dave, and the rest of our beautiful family. We will mourn you forever and we will remember the kindness, empathy, inspiration, and encouragement you have given to us through all your pain. May the good and loving memories always pop to the top first! we love you. CathyR
  2. cathyr

    My Mom

    Oh Fay, If only I could help make your pain over the loss of you mom easier after 14 years. Know my heart is with you. I will be posting again soon. Lot of company lately. Too much. I miss you guys. Still doing hospice. Pain level is fine. My muscles are really getting weak. Hard to get off the seats. May have to do the wheelchair soon! Hugs to you all! CathyR
  3. Nushka, Only the best scans for you. We love you and believe in you so much. You inspire many of us. Love and hugs, CathyR
  4. Well, another week gone. Two of the kids came in and it was wonderful to see them. Im finding it more and more difficult to get rest and some oxygen, but I'm just going to have to do it. I'm just afraid of disappointing my kids, friends and family when they want to visit. Last Sunday I think I had a seizure. Incoherent thoughts, coordination very bad, and my eyes were fluttering. It scared the family. Dr. doesn't want me to drive anymore. But, boy I sure have so much love in my life, in my friends, and in you all. My pain in very much in control. I just keep buying more and more wigs. I still look like an oragatan, but that's the least of it. Just wanted to say good-night my friends. I love you all very much!!!! \Hugs, CathyR
  5. Thank you again family and friends. Today I went and bought another wig. Saw the beautician to get in trimmed a bit, bought two new outfits from Chico's. and make-up at Macy's. I sure do feel prettier. I never realized how high maintenance I am. It was worth it though. Your prayers, and encouragement sustain me. I am so blessed to have all of you in my life. Who knows? Maybe it's just about that. Hugs to you all! CathyR
  6. This week was tougher. I really did have to keep repeating to myself the mantra" I am not a victim." Two weeks have passed since the decision for no more chemo or radiation. On Thursday and Friday I lost 3/4 of my hair due to the 2 brain radiations. I was completely taken by surprise and horror in a way. I feel like a look like an oragatang monkey that was in a holocaust. How's that for a picture. My coordination was off this week as well. I missed the train twice to visit my mom in San Diego. Just one of those weeks. The best news is that 2 of my kids are coming to visit me this week (tomorrow) and stay through Monday. I miss them so much and they are so scared for me. I just want to make things as easy as I can for them. I find it more and more difficult to get enough rest. So many things to do. But people for the most part have been so generous an d kind. It's the part of this illness I wish we all could experience in a way. There would be far fewer wars now, wouldn't there?? Well, it's after midnight so I've got to lay down. Thank you again family and friends. You are my lifeline to maintaining some sanity. Loving you all, CathyR
  7. I hope you know how much you are loved! CathyR
  8. We are all praying very hard for the two people who keep most of us going all the time. We are love, pray and think of you as our "own" family. We are always here for you as well. From our hearts to yours!!!! Hugs always, CathyR
  9. Thank you everyone. It just took me by surprise. Of course because of my decision to cut out chemo and radiation, I have a house load of people scheduled to visit me both May and June. Now I going to have to wear the wigs again. What a crybaby I'm being. The chemo took 3 months to lose the hair and radiation took 1 1/2 weeks and looks far worse. Well, I'll just have to turn on the personality instead. Thank you for taking your busy time out to talk to me. YOu are what this is all about. hugs and love, CathyR
  10. Melanie, All I can say is my decision to start hospice has become such a relief for me. In fact, I just switched them from 2 times a week to 1 time to start. I feel so much better not getting chemo or radiation. I hope you find the same joy. Thinking of you and praying for your recovering health. Big hugs to you! CathyR
  11. Two days ago I had the best looking hair I've had in 2 years. I actually started feeling pretty again. All of a sudden in 1 1/2 days half my hair has fallen out. I only had 2 days of brain radiation last Wed. and Thurs. Is this possible from 2 days of radiation. My scalp actually hurts a bit. Any suggestions what to put on it if anything. It seems like such a petty question as I was without hair for 5 months from chemo. It was such an upper to not only get it back, but feel pretty again. I AM NOT A VICTIM! I AM NOT A VICTIM! I AM JUST P.O'D RIGHT NOW. I love you guys and gals. Hoping everyone has a peaceful, painless and loving week-end. Always your friend, CathyR
  12. Wow. I'm so glad to see your post. I was very concerned about you Ray. Welcome home and know that this too will work out for you. Your friend always, CathyR[/b]
  13. Please have her get it checked out asap. I had a port for several months and ended up with a bad infection. Had emergency surgery for removal. No sense having pain that often or ever even!!!! Hugs to you, Cathy r
  14. Can you believe this family of mine? Lisa, it is you, Kacy, Kyle, your dad, Eric, and Robert who give me strength and inspiration. Just when I thought my week would be so awful with deciding to give up the chemo and radiation, I feel stronger every day. Your messages, Debby's, mom, Caryl, David, and of course my other family on the survivor board overwhelm me with grace and love. Please know it is returned a thousand fold! I love you, Hugs forever, Cat
  15. Thank God. Prayers can be strong! I'm so happy for you, Don and Lucy. YOu deserved the best news and now you got it. Thank you for making my day too! Hugs, CathyR
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