kimd

Sorry for your loss (and your husband's). Seems like this stuff can move so quickly sometimes when it takes off. I know a lot of people have mixed feelings about wanting to know if they have cancer or not. I feel so blessed that my dad found out (rather quickly for SCLC) and faced out head-on and my entire family was very open with the illness and what we were facing. This board really helped pull us through and understand. My family had more time to grieve together as one while my dad was ill. We laughed and cried together and when he took a quick turn for the worse, seems like the bond and the grieving helped pull us through his death. I draw strength from my dad every day and am so proud of his attitude and mind-set during his illness. Prayers to your family!

Ry: Hope your mom mends quickly! Seems like when things such as that happen, that you'll look back someday and laugh. Sounds like a future Olympic gymnast to me!

Dean: So proud of you for letting people know why you "ride around all day." I have made it a priority to teach my children not to guess why people are different, just accept them and try to understand that they have problems. You have been such an inspiration to so many with this disease and how you are dealing with it. Your reason for getting up every day is to inspire the rest of us! You are such a strong person! Take care and hugs headed your way!

Peg: Prayers and hugs headed your way to you, Bill and your family. This terrible disease has a mind of its own and turns on you when you least expect it. I know how you feel about docs giving up and my dad proved them wrong for his 4-month battle. Hang in there and you guys fight this with everything you have! May God give you strength during this time.

Dan: Reading all these posts inspired me to share a special moment of my dad's passing. Nobody in my immediate family has ever had any "experiences" during a loved ones' time of death. My mom especially doubted or questioned other stories. My mom had an experience recently during my dad's passing and we think it's the exact moment he was passing on to a better place. My dad had a rough Saturday evening before he died -- miserable, but not in pain. His cancer was shutting down his windpipe and that gave him discomfort. He finally asked why was it taking so long and when were "they" going to come and get him? We don't know who "they" were, but after his discomfort, we kept him sedated and at peace until the end. When his vitals had been poor for some time, we decided we would let the nurses move him in bed, clean him and make him more comfortable. Prior to that, we wouldn't allow anyone to disturb him due to his discomfort. Right before the nurses asked us to leave the room, my mom heard loud music in her ears -- really loud, but no song in particular. She thought she was losing her mind -- tv wasn't on and no other noises in room. She heard instruments -- fiddle, mandolin and guitar all at the same time. This noise left when we walked out of my dad's room. Guess what? My dad was a talented fiddle, mandolin and guitar player. After coming back in the room, my dad's respirations returned to normal, so did his color and his sleep apnea also was gone. He remained that way until close to the end of his life. My mom didn't share this with us until after his death that Monday morning and we strongly feel that this was his last communication with us while he was passing through. It made us believe that he somehow had gone on to a better place. Not very scientific or logical, but a wonderful experience that I wanted to share. An army helicopter also circled over during his burial -- not an Army base or airport for miles! We don't know why it was there, but my dad took helicopter training while he was in the service -- just coincidence? I hope you find peace in the fact that your existence here means a lot and I'm sure you have done some wonderful things!

Pam: I'm going through what you are right now. My parents were married for 46 years and my mom never worked outside the home. With my dad being in the Army for over 21 years, they only had each other and us kids. They were so close and she misses him terribly. I'm taking her to Florida for spring break with my boys in a few weeks to the condo my parents went to every winter. I'm hoping this will help her some. She is trying to plan some mini-trips in the future with her sisters just to keep her occupied. It's very difficult but I keep telling myself that I couldn't keep my dad here forever in the condition he was in. He is at peace and somehow we are drawing strength from that. Hugs and prayers to you and your family!

Colleen: My God help you get through this very difficult time. Sounds like the service was simply beautiful. It does make you feel very proud when so many people show up to pay respect to your loved one. May you find comfort in his memories and sending HUGS to you. My mom is going through pain like yours right now and I feel so helpless. I don't live in the same town she does (over an hour away), but I call her every day to see how she's doing. Savor the memories!

Francine: Prayers and hugs headed your way. Hope your nausea is residing somewhat -- that's a miserable feeling. Wishing you the best w/your test results! HANG IN THERE!!

Go get 'em, Mo! Praying for good luck w/your treatments!

Thanks to all of you for your overwhelming messages. I will keep visiting the board as two of my co-workers have parents also battling lung cancer (newly diagnosed) and with your knowledge, I have been helping them through the initial shock of the diagnosis. I gave one of them this website for info and maybe they'll join us. You guys don't realize how much you helped me, my dad and my entire family during his battle. When you get blown away with the news that you have cancer, you start looking everywhere you can for info and I'm so glad I found this board! Lots of hugs to everyone

Colleen: I am so sorry about your loss! I have been away from the board for awhile since my dad's passing, but was trying to catch up today and saw the sad news. Our loved ones died just days apart and my sister's name is Colleen - I feel we are somehow connected (also in adjoining state -- I'm a Hoosier). Sounds like you shared special moments at the end as I did with my loved one and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I have somehow found tremendous inner peace right now and hope you can find the same. I miss my dad terribly, but know he is in a better place and isn't suffering anymore. My dad also took a turn for the worse very quickly and hospice was never involved. I take comfort in knowing that he got his wishes -- no nursing home, no loss of his mental faculties and he was virtually pain-free during his battle. May God bless you and your family during this difficult time.

My dad lost his brave battle this past Monday (2/23/04) and wanted to encourage everyone with SCLS to KEEP FIGHTING! I posted under the GRIEVING section about my dad's passing. I miss him so much already, but know he is in a better place. He fought a very brave battle and I am so proud to be his daughter!

My dad passed away this past Monday (2/23/04) with me, my mom and my sister with him. I am still in shock that the cancer just got ahead of us and he is gone, but he is finally at peace. Thanks so much to everyone (my "new" family) for all your words of wisdom, your knowledge about this terrible disease and your prayers. I want to share with you my dad's passing. For those of you who are unsure you want to be with your loved one, I would encourage you to do so. My dad did not have an easy time, the cancer was shutting off his windpipe and his vena cava (sp?) was flowing the opposite direction causing his lungs to fill with fluid. My biggest fear was seeing him not being able to breathe. I followed the onc out of the room on the day he become so bad and discussed this in great detail. The onc promised me that he would not suffer and would not know about breathing difficulties. I am so thankful for our onc and the hospital staff because they made my dad's passing so very peaceful. He did have a tough time for several hours before he was made comfortable with meds and asked all of us why it was taking so long and he wanted to go "home". This was my dad's way of preparing us for his departure and journey to a better place. My dad also had sleep apnea which made his breathing inconsistent. Towards the end of his time, his respirations increased, his color returned to normal and his sleep apnea went away and he was resting very peacefully. My dad died with us in the room -- peacefully in his sleep. It has been a very difficult week and in the five hours of visitation at the funeral home (small town in Indiana), we had around 300 people to console us. My dad would have been so honored! Also, at the cemetery, and Army helicopter flew over and kept circling. We live hundreds of miles from a military base, but my dad put 20 years in the Army and even went for training to fly a helicopter for awhile. Nobody planned this and we still don't know why the helicopter was there, but everyone there thought somehow it was a tribute to my dad. Thought by sharing this, it may help some of you who are having a rough time right now. I already miss my dad so much and it doesn't really seem real and I'm sure there are tough times ahead, but I have found an inner peace to help me deal with this. Thanks again for your inspiration!

Thanks so much for the prayers and great advice! I was having a really tough day yesterday and your posts helped me through! I will definitely check into the Topotecan for my dad. Will ask onc about this on next visit in 3 weeks when radiaton is complete. Hugs and love to you all!

Janet: So sorry about the loss of your father. Since my dad was dxd in October, I have learned that cancer sneaks up on so many people and it can act very quickly. My family beat ourselves up (as well as my dad) wondering why we didn't find the lung cancer sooner, but my dad had no symptoms and was very healthy. The drs said he only had the cancer for weeks or months when they found it -- they really couldn't put a definite date on it. He has been fighting his cancer, but has told us sometimes that maybe it would have been better if he didn't make it out of the hospital initially. It's not your fault and we would all spend more time with our loved ones if we knew how long they were going to be here. May God comfort you during this difficult time.

Well, my dad's restricted breathing is because his cancer is growing back at a pretty rapid pace -- even while on Taxol treatments. He did so well with first chemo treatments -- we just thought all cycles would work also -- at least for awhile. Dad starts radiation tomorrow for three weeks to try to reduce growth in chest area. I haven't talked to onc yet, just heard news from my mom. Does anyone have experience with another chemo that they haven't tried on my dad yet? He still wants to fight this cancer, but I think he feels he is running out of choices. Up until this past month or so, he was feeling fine. Any info would be appreciated as I feel he is slipping away and it would seem there's something else we can try!

So sorry about the loss of your father. May God comfort you during this difficult time.

My dad's been having restricted breathing the past week or so. Not bad -- just "different and more restricted" according to him. My mom and I thought maybe slightly from panic/stress as my mom's brother passed away last weekend and dad went to funeral home for 10 mins or so. Was difficult/emotional for all of us. My question to my new "family" -- what can be done for any breathing problems. Mom and dad are headed to drs office today for new scans due to breathing issues. Dr is out today, but they are going to try to talk to nurse. What can be done to help him down the road? His cancer is in right lung and left area lymph nodes and left shoulder. We fear that the cancer will obstruct breathing and don't know how this is prevented/handled. Any knowledge would be helpful. Bless all of you!

Rick: Looks great -- had no problems!

Sandy: I really think you should check w/another onc or talk to your dad's. Look at my profile notes on my dad. Our dads were dxd a few weeks apart. My dad, like yours, had good response w/4 initial rounds of chemo. We found out a few weeks ago that it's growing back. Original chemo shrunk to 1/4 size, but has grown back to 1/2. Also, a few spots on brain that my dad didn't have before (or we don't think so). His onc tried another chemo drug (Campo) that didn't work well (too many side affects), but just started my dad on Taxol this past Monday. Dad is doing well w/new chemo (as far as side affects) and we're hoping for good response. His onc didn't say anything about waiting, just "let's go after this again". My dad has been very healthy overall -- maintaining weight, no blood count issues, etc. I also think a few months is too long to wait. That's how long they said my dad had his SCLC when he was first diagnosed and it had spread to several areas in that short amount of time. Stay strong and God Bless!

Dave: FANTASTIC news! Will be praying for your remission and good news. You keep fighting the monster! Sounds like you're winning!

Shelly: Many prayers to you and your family! I was shocked when I read your message and feel so much pain for you. The closest I came to something similar was getting a call that both my parents were in an auto accident and I had to drive six hours in the middle of the night to get to them. I didn't know most of the trip if they were going to pull through. They were both helped by God at the scene -- was truly a miracle they survived. I remember the feelings of thinking I was losing them both at the same time (my dad actually did lose respirations for awhile). Somehow, I made it through. When my dad was dxd w/this terrible disease, my mom questioned why they were spared 4 yrs ago -- to go through this? Somehow I believe God gives us the strength to make it through these things. Hope your dad's lc is limited and he gets good results with chemo. Will be thinking about you and your family!

Tracy: You have found the right place to help your family. My dad was just dxd in October and we were scared to death. Hearing the diagnosis wasn't good enough for me (I was there during all tests and initial dr diagnosis). I decided I had to be the strong one for my parents and find out all I could to ask intelligent questions of the drs. I have learned so much from this board. Even though my parents don't have internet access, they rely on the news from this board and trust everyone's advice. Learn to appreciate each day with your dad and maybe you too can become "his eyes and ears" to help with the battle he has ahead. We didn't think my dad was going to make it out of the hospital when he was diagnosed (they overdosed him on paid meds and he ended up in ICU), but he showed them! He has good three really good months and has had a minor setback, but is trying new chemo now. Prayers to you and your family and hang in there!

Terri: Glad you found this site -- has been a godsend to me! My family is very fortunate in the sense that we have openly talked about everything. My dad wants to know what he has facing him and is battling as much as he can. I like to describe his illness as a rollercoaster ride. We started on the "down" side and have had many ups and downs since then. My parents also have a very close relationship. My mother could never work outside the home because of his military career. We travelled all the time and that made them so very close because they only had each other -- they have been married 46 years! I am enjoying each day with my dad and some are better than others. Very recently his cancer has spread to his brain but he's not having any problems with that yet. I remember being so scared and not knowing where to turn until I found this site. These are truly wonderful, brave people. Prayers to you and your family.

Pam: Just read your post. I know how difficult things must be for you, but may you have comfort in knowing that you were there for your dad and nobody can take away the wonderful memories and pictures you have of him. My dad too has lung cancer and we are now on the roller coaster ride -- ups and downs. Since he's still here, I'm trying to build special times and memories with him (and my children are too). We talked a few weeks before Christmas about how my dad had tought all his grandchildren how to play checkers except my little one (he's 7). I stayed overnight with my parents Christmas Eve and spent Christmas Day with them (I live 1 1/2 hrs from them) and woke to the sounds of my dad playing Christmas tunes on his guitar and mandolin. Just like it was a normal day, guess what he did later? He taught my son how to play checkers. So -- our dad's also build memories. I feel certain your dad is in heaven and looking over you. There will be special times you will think about him and that's when I think they are letting us know that they are okay (even if we aren't). I have two coworkers who both lost parents to cancer over the holidays and when they returned to work, I had a very difficult day. I had to try to comfort them and rec'd a call from my mom the same day and told me my dad's chemo stopped working. May we all have the strength to get through each day. God Bless!